My 4-year-old dawdles, stalls, and procrastinates *every* morning and it's making me crazy (and bringing out the worst in me with the impatience/yelling). It's such a battle to get him to go potty, eat breakfast, and get dressed.
I also have an infant so can't always focus on my older one.
How do you get out of the house calmly and peacefully and on time??
pomegranate / 3858 posts
We're in the same situation! We do a lot of "today's library day, so we don't want to be late!" etc., but she's in school, so we can usually focus on something fun to get her moving. But it's really a lot of "put on your shoes, put on your shoes, put on your shoes..." over and over.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
It's a work in progress for us right now. Things were going great until we had a coffee spilling accident as we were putting bags in the car.
I need ideas as well.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
It is hard. We have to be out of the house by 8:10 and my kids often don't get up until 7 (and my husband is rarely home to help). I try to get up at 6:30 and get myself ready, get breakfast on plates and have everything ready to go for when they wake up. Then, it's potty, eat breakfast, get changed, brush teeth and play if there is extra time. No playing until the aforementioned tasks are completed.
pomegranate / 3127 posts
It's not easy! Today I had to threaten to take DS to day care in his PJs if he doesn't dress. Usually we just stick to a cast iron routine and hope he doesn't decide to throw a monkey wrench into it. Sometimes giving him something to carry along helps, but he's a very jaded toddler 
and says most of his toys are "too boring."
pomelo / 5258 posts
We're working on this with our 3.5 yo. We found that giving her a sign with our morning routine helped. It's just clip art with wake up, eat breakfast, change, etc. When she's dawdling we ask her what's next on the list.
We also try to emphasize that she's making choices about how she spends her time. If she wants to spend 10 minutes putting on shoes that's fine but mommy will only help for a minute before moving on to something else. Since she's competing for my attention with baby brother she really doesn't like that. Also we remind her the time she spends dawdling could be spent playing if she gets ready first.
grapefruit / 4988 posts
We've been dealing with this on and off for awhile. Our normal solution has been to build in a ton of time (which is easy, since she's usually up very early) and to stick to a set routine every morning. She still stalls but usually we still get out the door in time since we start early enough. She usually gets a snack in the stroller on the way to daycare (yes, I know, a snack right after breakfast...) so that is generally incentive enough to get her out the door.
These days though, we've had to change our routine a tiny bit because we need her to put a coat on in the mornings, which she is not used to, and omg it is like the world coming to an end. Really hoping she gets used to wearing outerwear soon because she has been driving me up the wall with her whining.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@catlady: my kids get a snack int he car on the way to school too. Oh well!
pear / 1961 posts
I get my 2 up at 7a to be out the door by 805a. I do a fair amount of prodding on some days, but mostly have just tried to bake in enough time for moving slow & getting distracted. We generally come down first thing, say goodbye to DH, eat breakfast, then upstairs to get clothes on & brush teeth. Then back downstairs for shoes/coats, grab lunches, and out the door.
Some days we sing the Daniel Tiger "clothes on...eat breakfast" song over and over to remind them of what to do, but clearly a non-parent decided kids should get dressed *before* eating breakfast, right? Mine would need an immediate change of clothes!
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@KayKay: oh yea there's no way my kids could eat breakfast in their school clothes!
nectarine / 2180 posts
Funny you should ask, since this was in today's paper: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/on-parenting/my-daughter-deserves-a-trophy-for-how-astonishingly-slowly-she-does-everything/2016/10/25/c7779f32-96de-11e6-bc79-af1cd3d2984b_story.html#comments
nectarine / 2750 posts
Sometimes we set the timer on our phone and tell him he has to finish before it goes off (maybe four or five minutes to get dressed, for example). It has worked pretty well. We tell him if he doesn't finish in time he will lose something he wants (usually a story or wearing a costume after school).
pomegranate / 3272 posts
My almost 4yo will sometimes go so slowly in the morning. I try to have everything ready by the time I have to wake both of my boys in the morning. I pray that DS1 is up and ready before DS2 wakes or it gets tough. We definitely pick out clothes the night before and that helps but sometimes it's still a struggle.
One thing I note is that it appears that he takes a long time getting ready in the morning b/c that's one of the few times it's just the two of us since his little brother came around. That was a tough thing for me to realize as a working mom. So I now try to give him a few extra minutes at bedtime for just the two of us so he feels like we're connected.
persimmon / 1445 posts
OMG this is my 3 yo daughter too! She can take 45 minutes to have a bagel and a smoothie... And then she wants to get dressed and brush her teeth by herself arghhhhh. We often need like 1.5 hours to get out the shower even without a shower. I need to start getting her to pick up the pace or she will never get to school on time. Hopefully having another kid around will help her speed it up on her own (and help me not out up with her dawdling since I tend to accomodate it since I SAH and she is an only).
coffee bean / 40 posts
Like previous people have said, keeping a consistent routine and allowing a lot of extra time in the morning has helped us. My daughter does not like to be rushed. We do everything pretty much in the same order everyday. Get up, have milk, eat breakfast, make lunches, watch a show and playtime upstairs while mommy showers/gets dressed, get baby brother dressed, get sister dressed/hair brush/brush teeth/shoes on, out the door. If she starts throwing a fit over something, I can usually get her to snap out of it by letting her bring her special baby doll in the car with us, which is comforting to her. It helps that my kids get up super early in the morning so we have more than 2 hours to get ready.
nectarine / 2987 posts
We started using a marble jar. Every time DS does what he's asked the first time he's asked we drop what we're doing and run and put a marble in his (baby food) jar. When the jar is full he gets a little prize (sucker, glowstick, dollar section at Target stuff) from a jar of stuff and then we dump the marbles and start again. All the positive attention is really helping. The trick is to remind ahead of time, but not nag after. So, remember if you do good listening we can put a marble in your jar, but not you didn't listen no marble for you. The goal is to bring attention to the good behavior and give minimal attention to the poor behavior. We saw a big improvement within 3 days. Only having to give a direction once and seeing DS run to follow it is amazingly morale boosting. And he's much happier with all the positive attention.
persimmon / 1233 posts
Thanks for the advice. I think the biggest thing is we need to allow for more time - we like to let him wake up on his own but sometimes it doesn't give him enough time to do things at the "leisurely" pace he needs.
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
@hummusgirl: It seems no amount of time is enough, there's always time to procrastinate over. If anyone ever finds a solution to this, they could sell the answer to all of us frustrated parents and be billionaires lol.
pomelo / 5866 posts
I had to retrain LO as she was getting ready for preschool with DH for 3 years. When she moved up to kindergarten it was my turn to take her to school. DH would lollygag for over an hour with tv to get her ready. Now we have it down to a science of 15-30 mins depending if I get a head start on myself and if DH helps with the breakfast. What worked for us was:
1. Change of person in charge (with a different way of handling it).
2. Talking her through the process the night before (while I am brushing teeth, you are brushing; while I am making lunch, you are putting on shirt, pants, shoes and socks. Don't come to the table without shoes on. I will brush your hair while you are eating breakfast then I will change my clothes while you are finishing. Take your plate to the sink and stand at the door with your backpack on when you are ready. )
3. I remind along the way as the morning progresses exactly like our plan. Let's go brush teeth. Ok, I am making lunch now. What are you doing? Good!! What are you doing right now? If you don't have your shirt on, I need to think about if we are going to the water park this weekend. Get your shirt on now please. 1-2-3. Thank you. Your teacher is going to wonder where you are if you are late, Babe. Mrs. X will be so sad if she looks at your empty seat. Get your socks on so you will be ready.
It has been working for a few months now. * We normally don't wear shoes in the house but it really helps with the process if she comes to the table with shoes on. Then I am at peace knowing we can walk out the door during breakfast if she eats too slow by taking it to go. Can't really leave with no shoes.
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