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My baby is still baking, but we're already getting flack for some of our decisions (breastfeeding, cloth diapering, anti-smoking, room-sharing). It gets old. We're making the decisions that are best for our family, and I really hate having to constantly reinforce that this is OUR child and we will raise her as we see fit.

@septemberlove: I get a lot of complaints about the way I choose to parent. Our families want us to go out and do things with them (like dinner, and things like that) but I often refuse because I have an early bedtime for LO because IT WORKS for us.

I don't hold back though, and I'm constantly saying "I'm his mom, I make these decisions". They're annoyed, but Isaiah is more important to me.

You're the mom. You make the decisions. You ultimately know what is best for your baby.

You're doing a great job.

i know exactly how you feel. i didnt plan to be an attachment parent either. I thought i would sleep train and nap train and the whole 9 yards but it turns out that didnt feel right for me. I agree you are not spoiling or ruining your baby. what ruins a kid is allowing them to be mean or rude to others and not letting them learn to be self reliant much later in life. Super nanny doesnt recommend discipline till age 2 the earliest. I also think it helps to point out to people that i see PLENTY or kids acting like spoiled terrible two brats even when they ahve been sleeping in a crib and napping their whole lives. It's a phase all children go through. Some are more difficult than others but that is luck of the draw if you ask me. So long as you are a LOVING parent no one should bug you. Keep at it. People always judge ALL parent styles.

Everyone has an opinion, but the only one that matters is yours and your husbands. I got a TON of flack for switching to formula, constant comments of "well your sister went 16 months, SIL went 12 months, ect." I get it but it didn't work for us & it was a decision that we had to make for our sanity and our child's. It's all about choices, they may not seem right to someone else but you have to go with your gut! You are doing great momma don't let anyone tell you different!

My goodness your LO is 3 months old. People need to back off and let you parent. Those first few months are about surviving. You do what works best for you.

@evansjamie: It's hard to believe that someone would actually have an issue with not smoking around a baby, but my FIL seems to think it's fine too.

We're pretty much attachment parents (which I had no idea what AP was until way later, just doing what feels natural/right to us). We'be gotten a lot of crap for it because no one else we know parents the way we do, but we ignore it. And I remind people I don't tell them how to parent so they need to stop telling me how to. I don't let it bother me anymore though.

I think you're doing a great job! I get flack for nursing on demand too, family gets annoyed that I have to take him back from them to feed him (instead of giving a bottle). My mom doesn't care if I'm nursing anymore, however. She's gotten used to it, which is nice because in the beginning she was weirded out by it. When any other family members are over, I leave the room, like you. Just ignore them! Baby needs to eat and you know what's best.

I think we all want to shout from the rooftops when we feel like we've found something that has worked for us. And also sometimes when we think we've figured out something that doesn't work. Trouble is, there are so many different variables at play that the same things don't work for every family. I love babywearing, for example, and I probably can come across as an overbearing ass about it to someone who isn't interested. Usually if it is a person I don't have to interact with much I will listen to the opinion, thank the person for sharing and being helpful, and then just ignore the advice I don't like. If it is a person I am close to, I will still listen, and then will tell them how I feel. Usually something like, "I appreciate so much that you care about us and want to help. Right now I feel like 'x' is working really well for us." It helps to try to remember that pretty much everyone who does this is coming from a really good and loving place.

"I'm pretty confident in my choices and I'm not afraid to say that I'll do what works best for us. "

THE END. This is all you need. Attachment parents raise healthy, secure, strong children. Non attachment parents do the same. Any way of parenting that is loving, responsive, and in tune with a child's needs (even if they conflict with adult needs) will raise healthy, strong children. The end.

You know you're being the best parent in the world to your child. Everyone else in the world is welcome to step off.

I totally get where you're coming from. Someone referred to me as a Dr Sears Groupie because my instincts as a mother lead me to be more of an attachment parent. I've never read any of Dr Sears books so to call me a groupie is just rude.

My sister does nothing but complain about how I parent and it's exhausting to have to continuously explain yourself.

Just remind yourself that you're doing what you think is right for your children. Most people can't help but butt in.

I agree with @Zippylef. Even if you don't have a thick skin, you can have a thick spine. Having a thick skin comes from making one.

No one has really questioned my parenting, which is probably somewhat family dynamics (i.e., a respectful set of parents and spouse), and also my adent practice of the "bitch face".

Seriously, do not entertain these people girlfriend! You are an adult. You are a mother. You are not a child who needs to be lectured about everything. When people start to run their mouths, throw your bitch face on and just flat out stop the conversation. End it for them, and after a few times even the most thick-headed get the message that starting crap with you won't fly...and they will go elsewhere to bully.

You're obviously up against overbearing, controlling and bullying personalities. You can continue to be submissive and bottle up your anger, or you can stand your ground and give it back. You know you're not spoiling your son or ruining him for the future - you're an adult, you've got an education and a great career - you don't need constant questioning. Tell them so!

@yoursilverlining: amen!

@evansjamie: mind officially blown. How anyone could in this day and age believe it's ok to smoke around a pregnant lady, let alone around a small baby is just beyond me. I cannot stand when I'm out and I see parents smoking around their young children - like I'm all for smoking when it's just you if you want, but that stuff stinks to non-smokers and little babies can't just walk away, they have to take it. I always fight with myself whether to say something, but I figure it's not my place or good for my LO to see me fighting with a random person lol. Anyway, off topic, sorry! I hope your DH steps up (and im sure he will), it's so hard when it's the in laws!

@septemberlove: you are doing such a kick-ass job. Like others said, you're the grown-up now - your primary responsibility is to care for your child in the best way you see fit. Keep on keeping mama, you're doing awesome!!