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It seems to me these days its super common for kids to go by their full names - we know a Steven, William, Matthew, Bradford, and a Jeffery - none of them go by a NN

I feel like you have to be ok with nicknames if they're there. We purposefully didn't name our kids a name that had a nickname that they could have been called. Because there's someone out there who will inevitably call them that nickname, and it could catch like wildfire. So if you're naming your child something, expect them to be called one of the nicknames of that name.

@JennyPenny: Choose a name you love. My mom purposely named my brother and I one-syllable names and we still had nicknames in school. You can't control what happens between their friends. You can control what you call your child, but not much else.

We never had a boy, but I love the name Theodore but was wary of it bc I hate Ted (though love both Theo and Teddy)

@sarac: wow. That's a pretty strong opinion and dismisses anyone's right to be called what they choose. So if my son prefers William he should be forced to endure any nickname you choose?

I love the name Patrick but don't like the name Pat so it went off the list. My father does not understand why you wouldn't call people by the shortened name. He's not a total jerk but he does like to push my buttons.

@sarac: Well, I take offense to that. I guess I'm rediculous that I prefer his full name and ask people to call him that. I have never met anyone in real life that acted like what I call my son is a big deal.

People on these boards get so judgemental of what other people name their kids or how they spell it. In what way does it affect other people, that you should so need to insult other people?

I wouldn't use a name if you didn't also like the very common nickname. You can prevent the nickname as a kid, and your child can choose to go by the full name as an adult, but you can't prevent the child from going with whatever they like as they get older (or what their friends are going to call them). I'm a high school teacher and honestly it's hard to imagine one high school boy calling another Matthew or Christopher or William.

My husband is one of those names and everyone calls him the nickname except for his parents and brother. And I have to admit it does make me roll my eyes a little that they use his full name (even though I know they named him and have every right to!)...

@JennyPenny: I kind of think people usually introduce themselves as Chris, not Christopher, but if someone introduced them self as Christopher I would stick with the long version and expect others would too? But I would only use that type of name if I loved it enough to not mind correcting people. My daughters name is the opposite. She goes by the shorter but it's a less common name so at first we usually have to tell people that. It's nbd to us though.

I have two examples that kind of contradict each other a little, lol. My best friend's name is James. Growing up, teachers occasionally tried to call him Jim, but he usually ended up correcting them. His mom liked the full and they always called him that, and it stuck.

My DH is Matthew, but only his mom calls him that. I call him Matt and so does almost everyone we know. Some if his family call him Matty, which I'm not a fan of, because he's in his 30s, not 8 years old.

So I guess it can go either way. What you as the mom prefers can stick, or you could end up the only one who ever calls him that.

I think as a kid, it's easy to keep it the long method. Introduce him/her as such, call them that name. As an adult, if they prefer the shorter, then it's up to them.
I've always addressed people as they introduce themselves. So as for adult, that how I decide how to address people. For a child, I take my cues from what the parents call them.
My cousins husband is Christopher and as far as I know everyone calls him that. My husband may have called him Chris once, but I corrected him. My friend has a Jonathan, but she told people she told some people she didn't like John, word spread, our group of friends never calls him John, and they actually call him J, so that's how we address him too.

@DesertDreams88: Us too - we loved Ben and already had a Benjamin in the family so went with Bennett, planning to call him Ben, but now he just doesn't seem like a Ben, he's always Bennett.

@travellingbee: I think my reaction to my DH's parents calling him full name is more about my relationship with them and not his name. Because I have a cousin who's mom (my aunt) always went by full name and she still calls him that (even though almost no one else does) and I realized that I find that endearing. So I'm just being a B about my in-laws

(NOTE: I'm using a different name here for anonymity, but it is the same exact situation)

We have a Benjamin, and I strongly dislike Ben. At 2.5, everyone still calls him Benjamin. Most people asked "Benjamin or Ben" when they first met him, and when I replied "always Benjamin, never Ben!" (with a lighthearted smile and a laugh) they learned his name and it hasn't been an issue. EXCEPT for my FIL, who I adore but who can't seem to stop calling him Ben. (He is really lucky - if this was anyone else, it would drive me absolutely insane).

If he wants to be Ben when he gets older, that's his choice and I'm happy to let him make it. But until then, all school forms, teachers, etc... will say Benjamin and will not list any nicknames or 'preferred' names.

ETA: after reading other responses I thought I should clarify: DS name is common, and all of the adults I know with the same name use the full name. It seems to only be middle/high school kids who sometimes prefer the nickname, but then they go back to the full name when they're older.

I liked the name Thomas, but my husband said he would call him Tommy... so it went in the veto pile.

I think you can't really control it, what if your child preferred the shortened version?

If you really dislike the short version, I would most definitely keep looking.

We did! DS is Matthew and we really dislike Matty as a nickname. We always introduce him as Matthew. Strangers will say "hi Matt" and it doesn't bother me too much, but we had to shut down my mom trying to call him Matty.

@erinbaderin: I lovvvvve Bennett!