I'm 6.5 weeks pregnant with my second and to be completely honest, it has been rough. My ms came in just before 5 weeks and I am very hormonal and emotional. I don't know how much more I can handle and it's still very early on. I'm on medication for the nausea but I don't think it is helping me much. I'm constantly in the verge of tears, we moved away a year ago so all my support is back home. My house is a mess, I am unable to keep up with my son, my husband is at a loss. I am just a mess. Then all I can think of is the newborn stage... the crying, the lack of sleep, etc and it scares me. All I keep thinking is "what did we get ourselves into again?!". If anybody had a rough start with their second pregnancy, I would greatly appreciate words of encouragement. Please no judgement, I've just been having a rough couple of weeks... Many thanks.
watermelon / 14467 posts
This is my second pregnancy and it was a lot worse than my first. I can't rest likeI need to, the morning sickness is a lot worse, and I'll admit that my daughter has had a lot of screen time because I just feel like garbage. I'm 10 weeks now and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just take it easy, do what you can, and try not to let the house bother you. If your husband can pick up some slack, ask him to. It might not be to your standard, but it is something. Cook simple meals or order in if you can't cook. Drink lots of water and go to bed as early as you can. It's all about survival.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
It's harder definitely with your second. You can no longer go home and just nap until dinner time. Your toddler needs and wants you! We watched a lot of tv in those early days and towards the end.
Pure survival mode. You will be fine, your toddler will be fine and the baby will be fine! Have DH take the toddler out as much as possible on his days off so you can get some extra rest.
apricot / 490 posts
Oh my gosh this was me! Please know that this too shall pass. I would just fall asleep anywhere and make my husband pick up the slack. I medicated my morning sickness unlike the first time so that helped too. I ate the food that I wanted to and didn't stress about extra tv time for my daughter. Don't be so hard on yourself!!
grapefruit / 4418 posts
It totally sucks I'm sorry! Don't feel bad I had (and still do at 27 weeks) many moments of saying I regretted getting pregnant again! It's way harder the second time with a toddler at home, but it's temporary and eventually it will be over.
persimmon / 1129 posts
@clery: I'm on my second pregnancy and it is so much harder! The first trimester I was so tired, I seriously went to bed at 6:30 pm a lot of nights. My toddler goes to bed at 7 and my husband had to handle bedtime a lot because I was already asleep. During the second trimester it got easier! And now in the third trimester I'm just starting to get that crushing exhaustion again. The thing I keep reminding myself is when I have a newborn, I won't be pregnant anymore!
Things that helped us survive the first trimester were super easy dinners (waffles, grilled cheese and tomato soup, turkey burgers, rotisserie chicken with salad, scrambled eggs) and having a cleaning lady come every other week. I also basically threw out any rules I used to have about screen time. This is survival mode! Good luck and I hope the MS gets better.
papaya / 10570 posts
Oh yes, the second pregnancy first trimester is horrific! You have all my sympathy. The good news is, after the first trimester, it flies by.... and I've heard that having a newborn and a toddler is much easier than being pregnant with a toddler.
nectarine / 2667 posts
My second pregnancy was much more difficult than my first! I felt constantly hungover & was always so tired. The day after I found out I was pregnant, our basement flooded & the next week we found out it'd be thousands of dollars in repairs. I was a mess & kept thinking we'd made a huge mistake.
Honestly, my husband helped me through it. He really stepped up to allow me to rest. I also gave myself permission to eat/drink whatever I wanted for the first trimester. I started feeling better around 9-10 weeks.
Also, my baby is 8 weeks now and it's been no harder to adjust than it was with my first baby (he's 3.5 now and, full disclosure, has been going to fulltime preschool during my maternity leave).
grapefruit / 4455 posts
Not with morning sickness but with other health issues I had a rough second pregnancy and all I can say is actually parenting two hasn't been bad even though my pregnancy was difficult. I can't make it easier for you but I can say that screen time won't kill your lo1, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. It's not forever. And hopefully your second trimester will be much easier and you'll get a little break between this and the newborn stage.
eggplant / 11861 posts
@clery: I'm so sorry but you are not alone!
I am almost 9 weeks and have a 14 month old!
I am exhausted and DD's sleep has hit an all time low!
I find myself ready to cry daily and just overwhelmed!
I know it will get better, but like you I can't help but think how the hell am I going to do this!
I am a so excited for this baby, but this just sucks! Just wanted you to know your not alone!
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
No one ever tells you how much being pregnant with a toddler SUCKS! It gets better!! Is there anyway you can get some help from a babysitter?
olive / 61 posts
Thank you all for your words, stories and honesty. It is really encouraging to hear that I am not alone. Again, thank you.
persimmon / 1270 posts
I needed to hear this too. I am 12 weeks and Lo1 just turned one. I've hardly gotten anything done. I am in survival mode at home and at work. But I am starting to get some more energy and that helps.
Daily I wonder what we have done and if this will be a horrible mistake. I hate feeling like that about a baby I am so excited to be having. Contradicting feelings and all the emotions is really hard. There is not really a place to talk about these things. Being anything but over the moon doesn't feel OK, but it's where I am.
pomegranate / 3350 posts
I am so sorry. I am on my third pregnancy and was hit hard with morning sickness when my second pregnancy was a breeze in comparison. Honestly, I had days where I considered termination because I just couldn't handle it or imagine feeling like that for another 6+ weeks. But at 12 weeks things are definitely improved. One day at a time, one hour at a time. It's all you can do. And (I don't know where you live) but when the weather is nice, try your hardest to get outside with your LO. It will help with his behavior and fresh air will be good for you. Hang in there, you will get through it!
cherry / 155 posts
You're not alone. My second pregnancy has been tougher than my first. I have a child to keep up with already, I am older, and my parents are dealing with health issues unexpectedly at the same time, plus my morning sickness and tiredness are way worse. What has helped me is indulgence -- treat yourself to a nap if you can, a favorite food, a trashy book, whatever. I find that giving myself little "treats" offers a small diversion from feeling like crap and being an emotional basketcase. And really, it does get better in the second trimester. Do you have $ to hire a housecleaner if the messy house is stressing you out?
pear / 1879 posts
@clery: Just wanted to chime in from the "you're not alone" camp. I am 10 weeks and this time is just so much harder. Keeping up with a 3 year old and some unexpected stressors have made me wonder when I will be able to relax if at all.
What's kept me on track so far has been asking my husband for extra help when I've needed it (and pushing myself to not feel guilty about it), giving in to some extra rest even if it means my son gets some additional and out of the ordinary screen time, and remembering that with all hope, I may find some additional energy in a few weeks time.
Hang in there- you're doing great even if it feels like you're moving mountains on any given day.
apple seed / 1 posts
My second pregnancy was much more stressful than my first. In fact I felt like I needed so much prayer to get through it I wrote an entire pregnancy prayers app while I was pregnant! I agree with other posts it does get easier as you continue on!