Tl;dr I am extremely annoyed at DH for booking a trip for a family wedding without telling me. Want to know if I am out of line and need to get over it.
Background- This summer we were going to go on a trip to visit my family and vacation in the same area. A professional opportunity came up for DH and we decided that he would pay for this course and take it, thinking that it would be a long term benefit. Reluctantly I still took the three kids to visit my family on my own (international flight) but we had to forego the vacation part of it. The day before I leave to come back, I found out that DH had essentially dropped out of the course. I came back extremely annoyed that I had made the trip on my own when we could have had a lovely family vacation.
Fast forward to this fall, when I wanted to book our winter travel plans (I consider this essential for my mental health to have a break during our long winter). DH essentially told me not to because we didn't have the budget for it. Considering our spending habits haven't changed, I was surprised, until we looked through our bills and I realized there was that professional course we had paid for that was essentially money down the drain.
Around the same time, we were told of a family wedding coming up over Christmas break. We looked into flights and saw that it would be extremely expensive and way more than we would normally spend. The rational option was that we just wouldn't go. And maybe we could figure out a local staycation or something last minute. I suggested that we book a trip to visit his family a couple months later when the flights would be more affordable, but he didn't want to commit to that. Then a family member offered to pay for DH's flight so that he wouldn't miss out. We had a long on-going discussion and decided that it wouldn't be fair to me, to leave me with the three kids at home while he went to party.
So last week, DH brings up this wedding again, and says he's thinking of going anyway, that we should talk about it. Two days later I'm saying, let's sit down and figure this out, so I can make plans and he drops the bomb that he went ahead and booked the trip. It's going to be 5 nights.
So now it's a few days later and I am still stewing about this. I don't generally hold on to grudges but after he dropped the ball this summer I just feel like it's not fair for him to go on a child free trip. He has made no effort to apologize for any of it. I also realize that I am whining about travel and international flights #firstworldproblems. But still. Do I need to let this go? Tell me how...