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Wow your mom is acting extremely nasty and insensitive. Is there any other way you could go in for a check up sooner?

@ChattyCathy: If you think you are possibly having a miscarriage you need to get checked out. Even though most OB/midwive practices don't TYPICALLY do the first appointment until 8 weeks they do want to see you if there's a reason to believe there's a problem with the pregnancy. Even if you have to pay out of pocket... you should get checked out.

Cramping in early pregnancy is totally normal. Congrats, I saw your read the other day and commented but then you deleted it, sneaky sneaky lol.

Sorry your families are being so crappy. Try to be happy for yourself and find friends who are supportive and happy for you. And try not to be on your parents' insurance... Now that you're going to be a mom yourself it's probably better to be on your own or on your husband's policy, even if it's the same provider.

You may have to pay for your first visit, but it should be too much I don't think!

@ChattyCathy: I'm so sorry you are going through this....I think you should trust your gut and if you feel like you need to be seen sooner, just pay the money and go. I'm excited for you though! Best of luck and I hope you have a healthy pregnancy!

@ChattyCathy: I have never heard of having to add maternity coverage before. Weird.

@ChattyCathy: Do you live in a state where you could get on some supplemental, maternity insurance funded through the government? It's really important that you are seen before October, in my opinion. I know in California, there are share-of-cost programs for those whose insurance plans do not cover maternity care. It's income based, but if you make more, you just pay a little more.

@ChattyCathy: I've never heard of adding maternity insurance. Insurance is insurance. Are you in the US?

Can you call the insurance company yourself because that doesn't sound right. If it is right, do not wait that long to see a doctor. I'm sorry your mom is acting that way that is so rude! Also, I'm having cramping and spotting and had it with LO and my OB said its normal so try not to worry.

And just to be clear, so I'm not contributing to worry, my m/c started with heavy bleeding, NOT cramps.

Oh, and I have heard of private insurance (like, not through a group plan) requiring a special maternity rider, but you usually need to have it in place for something like a year before baby is born, so if that was the case, you would need to look for something else. But it sounds like this is a group plan.

Do you know the name of the insurance company/have an insurance card that you use when you visit other doctors? The card might have a customer service number on the back that you can call and ask for an explanation of benefits and why you would need to wait until October for maternity insurance - that doesn't make much sense but I suppose it depends on where you live and the type of insurance.

Does your father's company, which your DH works for, have an HR department? If so, have DH go to the HR rep and request information about adding you to his insurance plan. The rep should be able to walk him through it and that way you could possibly leave your parents out of the equation.

This could be a pretty tricky situation insurance-wise. I'm assuming your parent's hesitation comes from the fact that adding on a maternity rider to an insurance policy that doesn't already cover it can be REALLY expensive (honestly I'm surprised it didn't come up before if they knew you were TTC) - and it's not really right to ask your parents to cover that cost, it pretty much defeats the purpose of staying on their insurance since it's free, because then it's not free and your pregnancy is costing them a whole ton extra (when DH and I looked into private insurance it was something like an extra $400-$500 a month to cover maternity - crazy!) And even if they do add on the maternity part now, it typically will not cover a pre-existing pregnancy, which is what this is. I'm betting your mom is assuming that if the maternity coverage would kick into effect in October you can see a doctor then - but even if you could wait until then, it's much more likely that their insurance still won't cover you when October comes, because you were pregnant before then.

I would immediately contact your husband's insurance provider to see if they cover maternity costs, make sure there isn't a time limit attached where the fact that you're already pregnant isn't an issue, and see about getting added onto it ASAP. Cramping is pretty common in early pregnancy, and your mom's reaction to it is way insensitive and out of line, but if you are worried about the possibility of miscarriage I'd pay out of pocket to see a doctor.

@ChattyCathy: sorry for the crappy situation... I wonder if the stress of insurance is making your parents less excited. If your insurance finds out that you are pregnant, then they might not cover the costs for your maternity coverage. We have private insurance and they actually made me take a pregnancy test to confirm I wasn't currently pregnant when we added maternity coverage! I hope you can get it figured out! Good luck!

@ChattyCathy: I think you need to stop going through your mother for this. You should call your insurance company directly and ask them about the coverage for pregnancy.
They may not cover dependent child maternity. That is something you will want to find out.
And, in all honesty, you should just come off your parents insurance if possible and get on your husbands or get your own. Having your parents able to get all of your medical info at this point seems a bit like an invasion of privacy.

@Pumpkinspice: While the insurance company may cover the dependent child maternity, most will not cover the baby's medical expenses as grandchildren are not considered eligible dependents on most insurance plans. So the baby's stay in the hospital will most likely not be covered by her mom's insurance.

@2PeasinaPod: You are correct about the grand child. I did forget to put that!
However, the pre existing condition thing...Pregnancy isn't legally allowed to be listed as a pre existing condition. So, that shouldn't be a problem.
But, the babies coverage will likely be.

@ChattyCathy: You need to call your insurance company. Call the number on the back of your insurance card and ask them the specifics for the plan you are currently on and go from there.
Taking the info from your mother as opposed to hearing it for yourself isn't the best move in this type of situation in my opinion.

@ChattyCathy: You would tell your parents that you are leaving their insurance and going on his plan. Since it is not likely open-enrollment time for your husband's insurance plan, you would need a qualifying event to be able to enroll in his plan (marriage, loss of job, birth, loss of insurace) You will need to check what these qualifying events are for his plan but most likely you would need to ditch their insurance to enroll in his outside of open enrollment. He can talk to the benefits manager in his office. Honestly, if you're a married woman your parents shouldn't have a say in your insurance situation.

If your husband's plan normally has maternity coverage, then you should be covered when you enroll in his plan.

@ChattyCathy: Yes, they will be able to tell you any and all information that applies to you. IE. Your benefits and any claims that have come in for you.
They will most likely verify your full name/ DOB and possibly your SSN.
But, you should have a health insurance card as well.

@ChattyCathy: Ugh, insurance can be such a pain... and this sounds like it will be a lesson in being more prepared in the future. I would do the following things in this order:
- Check to see if there is a pre-existing conditions clause in the maternity coverage or if there is a waiting period after obtaining coverage
- Check to see what the qualifying events are for switching to your husband's insurance
- If you meet one of the qualifying events to enroll in your husband's insurance AND there is no waiting period on maternity coverage, switch immediately BEFORE you see any doctor. But do it immediately so you can get into the doctor at the standard 8-10 weeks.
- If you do not meet a qualifying event, or there is a waiting period for maternity coverage, then start investigating state programs that cover prenatal care.
- if all else fails, you may be stuck paying out of pocket