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Don't worry about it. I love your baby's name. I thought it was beach-related too.
People have pointed out to me that I gave my baby a black name and we're white (when you google it a list of "top black names" comes up). Well you could also call it a literary name and I'm not very literary. It's Slavic and I'm not that either. If we have another LO in the future my top pick is Japanese.
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Doesn't sound like a friend to me. There is nothing wrong with a name associated with any particular culture, offensive its what you make it.
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My daughter's name has Hebrew/Japanese origin, and people always ask me, "oh, are you Japanese?"
People can be ridiculous! Ignore her!!
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I think it's a little extreme to call your mutual friend an asshole or whatever, but I think it's obvious that she's in the minority when it comes to her feelings regarding name origin "ownership" (or whatever you want to call it). It would have to be an extreme name to offend most rational people; otherwise people might find names silly or they could eye-roll, but they won't be offended!
As long as you love the name, that's all that matters! I bet your friend isn't a big Gwen Stefani fan, either
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Thanks everyone, definitely feeling a lot better about it. I seriously thought I broke some sort of secret naming rule. Dumb friend!
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i expected a thread about pilot inspektor... not your baby girl!
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@birdofafeather: that's my boys choice!
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Your friend is ridiculous. Also your friend who told you about that convo is ridiculous, not on the list of things that ever should have been repeated. Your daughters name is beautiful!
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Your friend is an asshat.
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@anonysquire: well that offends me. but your baby girl most definitely does not.
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@.twist.: For the win!!!
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I've been a little surprised how similar of a reaction we've been getting.
Our little girl's name has a more common version in the US (though still not that common, more of an old lady name) so occasionally when we tell people DD name they almost seem irritated.When I explain that it's the french version of the name (DH is french) then they're attitude changes and they say 'oh that's so pretty' and something along the lines of 'I just don't like when people make up names or try to take a name to be different but I love that you could use DH culture'.
I've been unable to figure out a way to respond to that thinking but I've encountered it a number of times. I can't tell if they like the name or they hate it but just like it because it has meaning to DH. Or just dislike it because they think we made it up and then when they realize we didn't they like it more? I have no idea.
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Your friend is a jerk. That sucks that this got passed along to you in that way.
So, I don't mean to defend your mean friend, or even necessarily to disagree with everyone else on this thread, and I definitely don't mean to criticize your wonderful daughter's name. But it seems like many people on this thread are confused, so I thought it might be worthwhile to link to some explainers on the notion of "cultural appropriation."
A good intro to the subject: http://unsettlingamerica.wordpress.com/2011/09/16/cultural-appreciation-or-cultural-appropriation/
Here's a good essay-about-an-essay: http://randajarrar.com/2014/03/18/new-essay-2/
A couple of good quotes:
"Many other arguments kept centering white people in the discussion, asking what they’re allowed or not allowed to do. Ultimately, that’s not the discussion I want to have. And one person can’t stop anyone from doing anything: white women will continue to bellydance. What I’m asking is, when you are part of the dominant culture and live in a country that subsidizes the theft of land & resources from Arab people; in a country that supports & financially aids Arab governments that silence and even imprison democratic protesters; in a country where kids don’t feel safe telling schoolmates that they’re Arab-American– maybe think twice before you put on some genie pants and kohl and call yourself Samirah Layali?"
"What is cultural appropriation? Cultural appropriation is the adoption or theft of icons, rituals, aesthetic standards, and behavior from one culture or subculture by another. It generally is applied when the subject culture is a minority culture or somehow subordinate in social, political, economic, or military status to the appropriating culture. This “appropriation” often occurs without any real understanding of why the original culture took part in these activities or the meanings behind these activities, often converting culturally significant artifacts, practices, and beliefs into “meaningless” pop-culture or giving them a significance that is completely different/less nuanced than they would originally have had."
[ETA] One more good quote: " In addition, one must also take into account the very real climate of Islamophobia and Arab-phobia in the United States – people who are perceived as Arab and/or Muslin are treated with hostility, suspicion, and violence, and assumed to be terrorists. This is only aggravated when these people are seen wearing articles of clothing associated with Islam or Arab culture. For white people to wear keffiyehs is to wave around our/their white privilege – white people aren’t automatically assumed to be terrorists. White people wearing keffiyehs are seen as hip, fashion-forward, and worldly, whereas Arab- and Muslim-perceived people wearing keffiyehs are seen as dangerous, Others, and terrorists."
Just a little food for thought for anyone interested in this subject.
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@PawPrints: I understand the content, but not the purpose, of your post.
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@MsLipGloss: The reason why Anonysquire's friend thought it was offensive for her to name her baby an Arab name without being Arab herself is because she thought it was cultural appropriation.
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@PawPrints: I understand why she thought it was offensive. What I don't understand is what you hoped to accomplish with your post, i.e., you don't want to criticize, but you are?
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