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I'm in the same spot. I'm thinking a four year age gap- if it does not feel right we will keep waiting. Our DD is 17 months. I'm 32 so I'd like to have my mind made up within 5 years of so. I think it's ok to wait and check in every so often. We are not making permanent decisions for at least 8 years.

We were planning on being one and done but 2 months in and we are loving this newborn stage and are bummed that times seems to be running so quickly. We might end up reconsidering but if we do we'd like a large age gap.

We are 50-50 one and done. We have a 16 month old. As @Mrs. Carrot: stated above, I'm just starting to feel like myself again. Life isn't hazy anymore, we have a life outside the kid, we've started to travel without the kiddo when my parents feel like coming up to visit. I fiercely love her, and I'm sure she'd love a sibling. I feel immense guilt and pressure to give her a sibling, but I don't necessarily want a second child. She'd be the only "only" child in our extended family. A lot of it is practical: we'd have to move into a bigger space, being able afford private school becomes taxing (our very urban NYCish area has terrible public schools), DH travels a ton for work and works long hours so I'd be solo a lot, and we have ZERO family within a 7 hour drive. And the rest are selfish reasons: I hated the zombie-no-sleep period, I finally have my body back, I get to hang with my husband and do more adult things, my kid is now insanely fun and we can go out and do crazy fun stuff.
Ugh, so yeah I don't know. I kept every single last baby item in a storage unit, which is ironic because I'm not even sure I want another.

@Jackiedavis87: Same!! I always think about how sad I am to never have a newborn again ... but I actually dont want a second CHILD which really doesnt make too much sense haha.

I'm in the same boat. We are content and love our family and life the way it is, so we aren't too sure if we want another one.

@MamaLovesDonuts: Thanks for starting this thread! I love hearing from other families in the same or a similar situation. Basically we always agreed to be one and done. Then DS was born and I wanted all.the.babies. DW firmly does NOT. She is 110% sure so I have let my fleeting thought go .. I just really miss him as a little newborn. He is in the 90th % and STRONG so he basically seems like a toddler already!!! And my friends are all starting on number two. I recognize these are not real reasons to actually have a second child so I do believe one is right for us .. but it's hard!

We have decided to be one and done. I will be 41 this summer and I just don't want to think about how old I will be when my child is x age.

We never really had a set number when we set off to build our family, so there was never a goal in mind. I think that helped me be okay with the outcome of only one child.

We don't know and can't decide!

Before kids we both thought 2 close in age. Motherhood is hard. The first couple years were hard. I felt like a zombie and our relationship suffered. DS is just over 3 and life feels normal. I feel like a person and that we have a relationship again.

We both have gone back on forth as to if we want another. We talked about it the other night and neither of us feels strongly about either way.

Time will tell but I could definitely be happy with one.

I sure thought we'd want 2, but I'm a little surprised, as well, to find myself uncertain. LO is 14mos & I'm an AMA mama, so if we don't decide soon to go for it, (& maybe even if we DO decide to), biology may tell me we are one & done, anyway. Things have been hard with DH working an especially long work day this past year, as well as getting an advanced degree. I've felt a little like a single mom through LO's time here, & while DH's situation will likely start to improve now, I have a hard time imagining how I'd do all that over again with a toddler as well without more help from DH.

Another different perspective here. DH and I knew we wanted at least one and maybe two. After LO was born, we were nowhere near ready until she was close to 2. At that point, we were both really torn because our brains were saying stop but our hearts wanted to try for one more. I think we both knew we'd regret it if we didn't at least try for another. We ended up with 2 miscarriages in a row and decided to take a break to re-assess. Two months into our 3 month break, we had an oops and I'm now 22 weeks pregnant with #2.

I'm so happy to be expecting but sometimes I wonder if we would have actually tried again in earnest if we hadn't gotten pregnant by accident. We really enjoyed our break and I think we were both coming around to being ok with stopping at one. We are now excited and looking forward to #2, but it is also scary thinking about changing our family dynamic.

I guess what I am trying to say is, sometimes there is no right number!

I'm really enjoying this thread too, we have waffled about a second even though we always said two. In fact I was trying to keep the door open for 3 initially but now I'm the one who's really waffling about a second. We decided to ntnp and see what happened, i got pregnant the first try but it's a blighted ovum so now I'm struggling even more. I'm not sure where we are going to land now. Pregnancy was really hard on me and it was a lot of mental energy for me to embrace it and then we found out it wasn't viable..
Sorry for all the rambling, it turns out I haven't exactly sorted this all out yet!

@Littlebit7: I live in the same county and figure there is a 50% chance we live in the same smaller city! I wish the schools were better, because I like everything else about our lifestyle. It sucks. We keep talking about moving away from the NYC area but it's all so exhausting to contemplate.

I just turned 39 a few months ago. We have a 2.5yo. Against all reason and logic, I want a second even though I know the first year will make me miserable. This current cycle is my last chance to have a due date before I turn 40. Ugh.

@MrsADS: At 11mos there was no way I was ready to consider getting pregnant again, even though I wanted to have two kids. I would give yourself a little more time. My son is 2.5 now, and at 11mos there was no way I would have been able to envision what it would be like to be his mom at 2.5.