One and done parents, do you ever worry about spoiling your children? I find myself spoiling our LO because I can, I guess. We took him to an open gym and I find myself wanting to sign him up for more classes eventhough he is already in Little Gym, Swimming and Soccer. I also buy way too many clothes. How do you keep from spoiling your child? Do you worry about it? I was definitely spoiled growing up because I was an only child.
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I can def see my lo being spoiled... She's our only (for now) plus the only grandchild on both sides. To say everyone's world revolves around her is an understatement. I'm not worrying too much yet, but I plan on making sure she understands how blessed she is and to be grateful for everything she has.
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eh, I wasn't an only child and I still was "spoiled" by my grandmother.
I just want DS to know that I work to provide these things for him. And know what it is to be humble, charitable and kind.
Any time I ever complained as a kid I remember my grandma reminding me that I was healthy, loved and able. -
I am not really sure what the alternative is, to be honest. My son is for sure spoiled with time and affection. He also has way too much "stuff," but that's a function of age more than anything, I know when he gets older and his interests are more focused, we won't have so much noise.
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I think being "spoiled" with time and attention is a good problem to have. I don't really consider that being spoiled. I don't worry about her being spoiled with clothes as much because (at this age at least) her clothes are more for me than her...she couldn't care less what she's wearing or how many clothes she has. I do worry about her being spoiled with toys. She's the only grandchild on my side and my mom loves to buy her stuff. But we compensate by not really buying her much...we bought her 2-3 small toys for Christmas and aren't planning to buy any new ones anytime soon. She's in daycare during the week so she has enough to keep her entertained on the weekend.
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@lawbee11: I was thinking more of materialistic things.
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@littlek: That's what I figured
I think as long as you have the time to take him and he isn't getting burned out that all the different classes are a good thing! I'm planning to sign our LO up for some classes this summer...can't wait!
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@lawbee11: It's sooo hard saying no to his adorable little face. So, I choose to say "yes". Luckily DH is the tough love parent, otherwise, LO would definitely have a pony.
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We're not totally sure we're one and done, but it's looking more and more likely. And yeah, I worry about it. I think any parent wants their kid to have everything they didn't have. I have a hard time not indulging her while we're able to.
I'm not too bad about toys because the clutter really bugs me, but Im bad about clothes, bows, etc.
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I don't think we're one and done but I am an only child so I have decided that this qualifies me to join in on this thread!!
I make no bones about the fact that I'm going to "spoil" my girl. If she wants a pony, I'm going to buy her a whole string. I think there are ways of teaching generosity, compassion and humility without saying no all the time. When the world revolves around you (and it will revolve around your lad, you can't stop it!), it brings with it additional responsibility to others - to send thank you cards, to give freely of your time to, say, grandparents, to do little jobs around the house for the people who do so much for you.
Or maybe I'm just justifying it to myself...!
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I think we will just be able to get her a slightly more expensive thing than she would have gotten otherwise if we had to get two (one for each sibling). She won't get everything she wants and she will have to buy things for herself with money she earns with chores and such.
She sure as hell can get an American Girl Doll when she is old enough. That being said, she will have to show that she can take care of things and be gentle with toys before getting it.
If we had 2 or 3 girls? Um, no. I don't have that kind of cash.
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@rachiecakes: totally agree with everything you wrote.
I'm sure LO will be considered "spoiled" by many (and probably already is!). I don't focus so much on the spoiling, but more on making sure LO shares, says please/thank you - and when she gets older, that we focus on compassion and generosity.
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I work in an office full of older first time moms (attorneys) and they are almost all one-and-done folks. As an outsider looking in, it sure seems like these kids are spoiled. I'm not saying its a bad thing - all the kids are really sweet and well-mannered - but it does seem like all the stuff they get is a wee bit excessive.
The justification I always hear is "well, we're just having the one and we waited a long time to have him/her, so we can afford things other parents can't." Private school, tons of special vacations over spring break and the summer, iPhones in kindergarten, over the top birthday parties, tons of cute designer clothes, 3-4 extracurricular activities, expensive summer camps - the works.
Like I said, everyone's kid seems to be well-mannered and nice, so I don't think they're raising brats or anything. BUT all the only children in the office seem to be extremely attached to their moms (and vice versa). Their child is the only thing the moms talk about all day long and all of the women have built their entire world around their child. Every spare minute outside the office is with their kid or working on some project or activity for their kid - and I wonder if that will have some impact on the child growing up in terms of being overly reliant on their parents.
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@gingerbebe: I worry about that too. I'm pretty much an only child, I have a half brother 9 years older and I'm extremely close/reliant on my parents. I'm a little afraid how much my life revolves around LO.
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DS has been an only for 6 years. I definitely don't give him everything he wants but he does have a lot. I was a single mom for a while and couldn't give him every little thing so he doesn't always ask. We just didnt get into any materialistic habits. But then again when his heart is really into something (like a telescope) I do what I can to make it happen for him.
He's more spoiled by activities. We go to the planetarium a lot and during days off and summer vacation we do lots of day trips to zoos and stuff. I really enjoy this and look forward to it so maybe it's more spoiling me than him lol.
I think with the age gap each kid is going to have some sort of being an only because they won't be on the same level of things they need/want.
I think as long as you have the time to take him and he isn't getting burned out that all the different classes are a good thing! I'm planning to sign our LO up for some classes this summer...can't wait!
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