Hellobee Boards

Oh man, I loved having friends bring dinner...especially when family were overwhelming me. Maybe offer to hold the baby while she naps or showers?

@autumnlove: Thai takeout sounds delicious! You could offer to pick anything up at the store she might need? One of my friends just had a baby and I ran out to get her lanolin to ease her pain. But I agree with previous posts, lend an ear and let her know she is not alone!

I agree on doing a lot of listening. As a PPD sufferer, the most therapeutic thing was when I got to talk a friend's ear off (mostly complaining and talking out my "inner demons") and not be judged. I was hard enough on myself. Also maybe hold her baby so she can take a shower. If her milk has not come in yet, that is rough. Encourage her to keep nursing frequently, if she wants to BF. I feel for her!

I just wanted someone to tell me I was normal and that new moms weren't perfect! and that it was hormones and not my own fault. I think letting her vent, cry, etc and reassuring her it's normal and maybe even commiserating with a story of your own PP time period?

Yes, just let her know its normal, and it doesn't make her a bad mom. I was blessed to have a wonderful momma friend who did this for me, and it really helped.

I agree with offering to hold the baby so she can go get a shower.

I know sometimes when visitors came (no PPD) but sometimes I was too tired to "chat". See what kind of mood she is in and go from there.

Also, maybe offer to see if there is any "chore" you can do to help or if she needs you to bring anything specific when you come (like lanolin or something she may have forgotten to get but now needs).

Agree with letting her nap or shower (you might need to encourage her, I felt like I needed to entertain and didn't want to burden anybody), offering to throw in a load of laundry, do dishes or tidy up, etc. Don't expect too much from her because like others said I really wanted visitors but felt overwhelmed by them because I was so tired. I also felt bad for feeling bad, like I had to be all sunshine and roses. Thankfully my blues passed around 4 weeks but when I had them I kept thinking, I'm going to run away, he'd be better off without me, if I knew it would be this hard I never would have had him. At the same time feeling terrible for thinking like that and feeling intense love and very protective of him. I needed to tell somebody I was thinking those things and have them tell me it was normal (which I did, and they did).