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Absolutely not. I want them to know that their child would be safe. I don't want any parent to feel uncomfortable while I'm caring for their child.

ETA: I say absolutely not, as in, I wouldn't be offended.

I agree especially if I am going to leave them with my child. If its like a play date kind of situation where I am there, I wouldn't ask but if you are going to have my child alone then yes I probably will ask.

We own guns and would absolutely not care if someone asked about our guns before a playdate. Just let them know it's something you worry about and if they wouldn't mind double checking that their guns are locked and safely put away. It would be a non-issue to me, and I think for some people, can be a good reminder to be sure themselves.

Why is it pushy to ask if the safe is locked? Or are we to assume it is locked?

I think this is a scenario when the question you ask is important.

I always look at these situations from my son's perspective. He is curious and determined.

I feel like asking these questions isn't terribly likely to result in a safer outcome. Someone is either responsible enough to have their guns (actually) stored safely or irresponsible/ignorant enough to believe their guns are stored safely when they are not. I really doubt anyone acknowledges that they are being unsafe. So I feel like the answer would ALWAYS be "yes they're put away safely" regardless of whether they are or they are not. I think you sort of just need to make judgments based on what you know of the parent on if they seem to be a safe and responsible person.

@Mae: totally agreed.

I'd be a lot more comfortable if there were legal requirements for safe gun storage or liability in event of a gun accident.

I think asking to see them... I would try not to take it personal. Parents are being diligent... that is part of being a parent and I have my own things... like asking people to wash their hands! (I am kind of intense about that.) Being diligent about gun safety is legitimate and rational so I think asking to see them for a lo's sake is no big deal. LOs make us more intense!

@mrbee: Not really, if you and I have mutual trust enough to 1)be friends, 2) let you into my home, 3) you plan on leaving your child in my care unattended...then you should trust me when I tell you how I store my guns. And YES about different regions.. this question always seems so strange to me because where I live, it's hard to find someone who doesn't have at least one gun in their home, purse, car, desk at work, whatever..so it's just assumed that you have a gun and no one really has to check up on your gun safety/storage. I've never been asked about my guns in my home, never thought about asking anyone about how they keep theirs either.

@MrsTiz: Agree completely with Mrs. Tiz. If someone asked me how we store guns in our home, I would happily tell them and wouldn't be offended -- it's a valid question if there is going to be a curious kid in our home. But I would be slightly offended if they demanded proof.

I feel like, if someone trusts me enough to leave their kids with me, they should take my word for it when I tell them our guns are safely locked away and kept away from LO's. But maybe that expectation just stems from the fact that I am incredibly picky about who my DS stays with/who watches him. I have to know that the caregiver will provide the same level of attention to safety that I would in order to feel comfortable leaving him with anyone!

@MrsTiz: I totally agree.

@MrBee: If you don't trust the homeowner's judgment/response, why would you leave your kids with them? ETA: And liability does not = prevention.

I agree with @MrsTiz: that this can be a really regional thing. I grew up in an area where guns were not prevalent and then moved to TX when I got together with DH. I think that here, there are many people with weapons in the home/in their cars/on their person, and it's just not as much of an issue. I think many people I know around here would be surprised that it was a concern to a parent who brought their child over.

@mrbee: It's a judgment call, whether you stay there with your kids or not. If you don't trust them, or trust that the environment is safe, then you don't stay. Seems pretty straight forward to me.

My husband got offended when our dr asked if we had guns in our house and didnt ask about drugs or alcohol.

I personally wouldnt be offended if someone asked if we store them safely but asking to see them would be pushy. I would ask them if they lock up their scissors and knives because they can be just as dangerous.

@mrbee: I don't know. I panicked and wasn't very nice about it. I asked her to take her bag downstairs and lock it in the safe. I didn't exactly make it sound like an option:

I'm still upset nearly two years later.

@MrsTiz: @Beyond2: Agreed, we are in a region that I just assume that everyone has a gun in their house. I have no problem them asking me about storing safely (or asking myself, although I have never), but I think it's personal asking to see where we store them and check for themselves.

The only time we "show off" our guns is if my husband buys a new rifle or something and his friend wants to see it, in that case it's done away from the children and curious eyes.

I know that my BFF's husband has a handgun in their nightstand, I have yet to leave my daughter over there unattended because of this knowledge. My daughter is curious & I don't trust a drawer to keep her out from a loaded/unlocked handgun.

None of my IRL friends are gun owners and I'd ask if there are any guns in the home and to see how they were stored. You hear too many news stories where a kid shooting was involved in "responsible gun owners" homes, like a police officer etc...I just don't take chances like that with my kids.

@looch: You could always try and bring it up casually, saying "oh Bobby is really into everything these days so just as a heads up I'd put away anything you don't want little hands in! You know, like medicine, guns, blah blah" instead of "Hi, nice to meet you, do you have guns and if yes may I see where you keep them?"

@looch: Honestly, couldn't you just say "I hate to pry, but one of my big fears are kids and guns, so I was just curious if you have guns in your house?" If they do, I'd assume that question would lead to a conversation that you would be able to make a decision from on if you were comfortable or not.

@looch: I'd ask, but like PPs have said, try to be non-confrontational about it. More of a calling to confirm the kids want to get together, what the plans are, etc. And then just bring it up like @BananaPancakes: stated, except maybe be more straight out and ask if they have their weapons stored in a locked safe (shortens the conversation of "yes, we have guns" "oh, how are they stored?" etc…). We would find that sort of question totally reasonable and in-line with other important questions like allergies, if there will be a parent supervising, etc. And I'll probably take my mother's approach when LO is that age and be the person to drop them off at the play date (rather than going there right from school) so I know where it is and who they're with, etc.

@looch: It's your kid, I think you get to make the call. If this is something that concerns you, then I think it's your right to ask, personally. If you're rude about it (which I doubt you would be), then they might be rude back, but if you're genuinely concerned, then I don't see how someone can be upset. It might be uncomfortable, but it's still important.