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@beaker: First off, my prayers and thoughts go out to you and your family. My LO was born at 34 weeks (exactly) and was in the NICU for 10 days. As for what to purchase, preemie clothes are great, Carters has a ton of stuff so does Little Me. Our NICU did not provide clothes, so once he was allowed to wear clothes, I provided those. The biggest thing is to pump, is there a pumping room near your NICU. I pretty much lived at the hospital and having the pumping room in the same area as the NICU was such a wonderful benefit. I think the most important thing I can say, is take it day by day. Each day with a preemie is different. Also, try not to think about timetables, you will drive yourself nuts. There are so many variables. Can your family help watch your toddler? At the NICU we were at there was a waiting room but it wasn't very toddler friendly. Again, my prayers go out to you! Hang in there momma!

I totally second what @littlek said!! I had my boy at 34 weeks exactly and spent 17 days in the NICU. Im out right now but can post later. Wall me if you have any questions!

ETA: I also spent 3 months on bed rest so I can commiserate there!! The nurses are right, every day you keep your baby inside is truly a blessong. Have you had steroid shots?

I know @mrsgreengrass had a preemie and can probably offer some really good insight as well.

Will respond tonight, but until then, I'm thinking of you!

Dear Beaker,
First of all best of luck with everything! The NICU is its own crazy place but there are certainly things that you can do to make it better for you and your new little one. Here are the key things that helped us.
1) check with the hospital to make sure that they will have a hospital grade pump to use in the NICU and one that you can rent for home. We had the ameda platinum and it was fantastic! Without that pump there is no way I could have breastfed my mouse. It was heavy and huge and industrial but it was fast and easy and didn't tear my nipples to shreds.
2) Start arranging meals now. We froze lots of things in single portions. Great both for the parent at the hospital and the parent at home with the toddler.
3) Read up on Kangaroo Care. It is any easy thing that you can do that will really help your baby thrive and will help your milk and bonding too. A decent NICU should be encouraging this but some are a bit behind the times.
4)Figure out the lay of the land in the NICU now so you can anticipate and make plans. Knowing where the bathroom is and the microwave/refrigerator is helpful. Knowing if there is a bed where you can spend the night is too. I pumped in my child's room, but a pumping room might have been nice.
5) Don't count on your toddler being able to visit NICU. Lots have no small children rules because they are great virus vectors and the NICU is home to some very fragile people. Of course, your little one can come visit you in your room until you are discharged.
6) Enjoy the NICU nurses! They have lots of good practical advice and helped me notice our small daily gains.
All the best,
Tree peony

Every day your baby cooks means a shorter NICU stay... So every day really is a milestone. You are also already into the zone of better outcomes so that is good too.

I know that a NICU nurse has come to speak with you (probably one of the unit NPs) so you should have a relatively realistic set of expectations, but they should be updating you as things progress. I often checked in on my consults a couple of times a week.

You'll need premie clothes. Heck, I needed them for my 40 week baby!

Also, be prepared to not go home until your due date (though late pre-terms usually go home long before that).

They should get you set up with hospital grade pumping supplies. It'll be important to work hard on pumping because you'll be stressed and it's hard to maintain supply for a baby who is in the NICU. I've seen it done successfully though.

Most of all, don't be afraid to ask questions, be present for rounds and spend as much time as you are able on the unit. The flip side of that is that you should also take the time you need to take care of yourself and the rest of your family.

Hope this helps. I've never had a NICU baby of my own, but I've spent enough time on the unit and have seen lots of families through long, short, and in-between stays.

I'll definitely be thinking if you! every day you can keep LO cooking is less time until you're all home together! We were only in the NICU for 8 days, but here are my thoughts.

For clothes, at first they could only wear diapers because of the isolette & heating beds they were in. Eventually, they put them in a onesie and told us we could put our own clothes on if we wanted. Putting them in our own clothes helped make it seem a little more "normal." I highly recommend gowns with snap fronts. Carter's has some that concert from a little romper to a snap gown. I'll find the link. The snap gowns are the best for the NICU because you can put cords and wires through the holes between snaps. All the nurses loved them because they were much easier to work with. Also, LO will be in preemie clothes for a while probably, so maybe have your mom/MIL or a friend pick up a few preemie clothes.

When peopke ask if they can do anything, say yes! Ask them to make a freezer meal or take your toddler for a playdate at the park, etc. Maybe your mom and MIL could do some freezer meals.

We spent pretty much all our time at the NICU because we didn't have kids at home and we wanted to be there with our boys. Our NICU was sort of open and sort of private. It had little room-ettes with curtains you could pull, so I could pump bedside or just get some quiet time with my boys.

We made sure we were there for rounds every day. We learned more about how our boys were really doing and got to be more involved in determining the plan for care. It also gave us a good opportunity to ask questions when the neonatologist, pharmacist, nurse, etc. were all in one place.

Ask early on to do as much care for LO as you can. We wanted to do everything we could, minus the things we were my qualified to do. We learned the first day how to get Finn in and out of the isolette, we did all the diaper changes, feedings, temperature checks, etc. Doing those things made us feel more like we were parenting from the beginning. Obviously, what you can do depends on how LO is doing at that point, but I definitely recommend expressions to the nurses that you want to be involved in their care and have them teach you how to navigate the machines and cords. We tried to do as many "normal" things as we could, so we read bedtime stories, prayed over our babies before we left each night, gave baths, took pictures, snuggled as much as we could considering they were in an isolette and on a CPAP respectively.

I was lucky in that my boys were both there the same amount if time, so I didn't need to be home and could virtually live at the NICU. Since you have a toddler and you may have a longer stay, I would add to try not to feel guilty when you need to be at home. LO will be in fantastic hands! The NICU nurses and doctors were so, so great!

Pump, pump, pump, and pump. I had a hard time ever getting my supply built up because they ate so little initially and while I did pump, I should have done so for longer at a time and more often. Be prepared that they may say that they want to supplement with either formula or donated BM until your nilk comes in. Have an answer ready, because my boys were born at 8 p.m. and the next morning they wanted to supplement. I was not prepared for that.

This might be different when babies are super sick and tiny, but I had 4 & 5 lbs. babies that were doing relatively good by the time I was discharged and having to leave them at the hospital seemed like the most wrong thing in the world. That was a terrible day, but it gets easier after the first night.

There will be babies tinier and sicker than your LO (which is great-yay!!), but don't feel guilty or like you can't be upset and worry about your baby. Every time I said something, I felt like I needed to first day, "I know they're going to be okay and that we're really lucky and that there are sicker babies, but . . ." Finally, a 20-year NICU nurse set me down and said, "It's okay to be sad, worried, and upset. You need to let yourself feel that way without feeling guilty about it. Yes, there are sicker babies and yes, you need to be thankful that the boys are doing well, but these are YOUR babies and it is never wrong to be invested in them and there care."

Take pictures with your LO and something that will show perspective. We took tons of pics, but it's hard to tell how tiny they (Finn) really was.

As I think of things, I'll try to add them. Good luck!

@beaker: Sounds like a good status update! Fingers crossed things keep going well.

I have no advice but I'll be sending good thoughts your way to keep that baby cooking.

I was intending to comment and refer you to @Sweet T: since you have such amazingly similar circumstances but I see you've found each other already!

@beaker: sorry it turned into a novel! I started typing it last night on my phone and I kept adding a thing or two until today when I realized it had become ridiculous.

@MsMini: just said ever so much more concisely what my novella was trying to convey!

@beaker: I know. I was there for 17 days. No toddler, but I teach HS and felt like I just left 150 kids hanging. Your toddler won't remember any of this. Might be a good time to take up a hobby you never have time for or watch a tv series... I did an embroidery birth announcement and then learned to crochet!

@beaker: I'm praying for you and your little boy!

@beaker: prayers!