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Thanks everyone. As those who've been through the NICU know, we have good days and bad days. Now little boy needs to learn to swallow his secretions (ie spit) before he can tackle bottle/breastfeeding. He's out of the incubator in an open crib now, and off all breathing support (he was intubated multiple times, had a canula for a while after that) so he's made great progress, but sometimes it feels like he won't make it all the way, since he needs to be suctioned out by the nurses constantly to keep his oxygen level up.

Because of his rough start (which different doctors refer to in terrible ways, like the event, the trauma, asphyxiation... I hate that.) there is some question how far his progress will go, will it plateau at some point, or continue steadily. He had "moderate to severe" brain swelling in the first few days but seems to be over that now, and the neurologist wants to see him when he's 40 weeks. I'm a bit nervous since the docs switch over starting today, and I really liked the one we had, I just hope the new one has faith in him and doesn't freak me out.

All of your prayers and kind words are very much appreciated. Some days I feel like talking and some days I just break down emotionally, and having this forum as an option for venting a bit is really great. Wish I could reach out to all of you individually but I can't figure out how on my phone