Let's face it, all pregnancy losses are completely heartbreaking and horrible. But I wanted to start a thread for those of us who have suffered second and third trimester pregnancy losses (for whatever reason...unexplained, known reason or TMFR.) I haven't seen a thread like that here and don't really want to be venturing into the world of babycenter and the bump!
Anyone here in this awful club with me want to share stories, support, concerns, and dreams? 
apricot / 347 posts
you already know my story, so just wanted to say i'm thinking of you it's a shitty shit shit club to belong to
pear / 1837 posts
I'll join. I walled you my story.... and I'm so sorry you're in this club...
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
Im really really sorry for anyone having to join this thread but I think its a great idea.
I had one loss which was a 1st tri blighted ovum. My second loss though was a MMC and I had a D&C at 13 weeks. It was SO much harder and different for me because we had seen a healthy baby and a health heartbeat.
persimmon / 1026 posts
I'm so sorry again for your recent loss. This is a great idea to start a support thread. I lost my baby girl in January. I went to a normal appt and was told there was no heartbeat. I was 23 weeks. Her anatomy scan was the previous month and everything looked great then so it was a complete shock to us. I was induced two days later and delivered her on 1/10. We found the cord wrapped twice around her neck so we opted to not do an autopsy.
We have a son who will be 4 soon and it's been very difficult parenting after loss. Just trying to explain to him over and over what happened (we've been very open with him about everything). Trying to grieve while also trying to appreciate every moment with your living child is exhausting. The emotions are not as raw for me now, but the triggers are still there.
I would definitely recommending checking out Faces of Loss - it's a great resource and you can search for similar loss stories to yours. The other thing that's helped me is going to our hospital support group monthly and connecting with other loss parents.
persimmon / 1026 posts
Also if you are in the New England area, there's a support group for moms on Facebook. If anyone wants to join, let me know - I think you need to friend me first so I can add you.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@littlecasita1122: thank you so much for sharing. I'm so sorry for your loss. So incredibly devastating, especially after making it to the halfway mark with a healthy baby. So devastating :(. I agree parenting is really hard right now. I feel a lot of guilt over not being in the moment with my boys, or getting annoyed at behavior when I know I'm just lucky to have them. My older is also 4 and has taken the loss hard. I'm going to a nurse psychiatrist weekly and also to our hospital support group (monthly also) but I feel like it's just not enough. I'm in New England as well. What Facebook group is it? I'll wall you. It would be great to connect to others in the area.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@imbali: @LulaBee: thanks to you both for reaching out and sharing. As I'm sure you both know, connecting with others who have been through a similar trauma is so important.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@T.H.O.U.: I remember when you went through that when trying for your son. I'm glad that baby girl is doing well and you're getting so close to having her in your arms.
persimmon / 1026 posts
@winniebee: I've been seeing a therapist since January, usually weekly. It helps, but definitely not a magic pill. The tough thing is that you can't just "fix" it - which my husband desperately wanted to do for me. You will always feel the pain and know there's someone missing, but you learn to cope with it better. I've learned the grief comes in waves now. I tend to have a few okay weeks, then a string of really bad days.
The facebook group is New England Infant Loss Mamas - for anyone who's suffered miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss.
pear / 1837 posts
@littlecasita1122: I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my son at 23 weeks as well. And we have been very open with our 3 year old about his death. She brought him up on the way home today and was saying she missed him, but then started asking about why people are buried and creamated and it just felt like so much to try and explain.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@LulaBee: we were really honest with our oldest too, but I think we've made some mis steps after the fact. He was acting out like crazy and we didn't sit down with him again immediately to talk about the loss again, which in hindsight we should have. Today he asked his younger brother if he (little brother) loved the baby who died. Ugh my heart.
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