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I've found that this is regional in my experience. In my hometown, it is considered very rude not to go to the ceremony and usually the ceremony has more people attend than the reception. But where I live now, it seems that the ceremony is seen as more of a close friend/family event and more casual acquaintances (co-workers, casual friends, etc) just go to the reception.
In your situation, I would just go to the reception. I was in a very similar situation and I did go to the ceremony, but I didn't talk to one person there. DH was in the wedding and saw me, but I could have skipped easily and no one would have cared. In hindsight, I wish I had. The ceremony offended me and put me in a bad mood, but that's a different story
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Hmm, maybe I'm just rude but if I didn't know the bride and groom well, I wouldn't feel the slightest bit guilty about skipping the ceremony. Hell, you're really only there as your DH's date, not because having you present to witness their exchanging of the vows is important to the couple. It would be an entirely different matter if they were your friends too but they're not so therefore, I'd totally skip the ceremony.
I always look at things from what is important to the bride and groom - with my wedding, a few unattached cousins brought a date that I had never met before and honestly, I couldn't have cared less whether or not they were at my ceremony. I don't know them, they aren't important to me, and therefore, why would I care whether or not they witnessed me exchanging my vows? Now if my cousins had skipped the ceremony, I would have been very upset (or in your case, your DH, although being part of the bridal party makes that point null and void, but you get my drift)....
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I would go to both just because my husband is apart of it and I would want to see him. I was also a little bit annoyed when people on came to our reception and not the ceremony.
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Thank you all for your responses! I've read them all and am still a bit torn. Since I will be going to the rehearsal dinner, I can take the opportunity to sort of feel things out and make a decision then. Its a pretty laid back bunch so I honestly think, even if it is known that I didn't go, no one would care. Just wanted to get a feel for what others would do. I have a feeling I'll end up going, but we'll see. Thanks!
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So many people have weighed in already, but it really depends! For my own wedding, I wouldn't care if someone's spouse that I don't really know didn't attend, but is at the reception. And if this was me, I'd go to the ceremony just to see DH as a groomsmen haha. But if it's just a lot of work/trouble, then I'd totally skip too. I don't think it's a huge deal if both parties don't know each other well.
BUT, it seems that from the many posts written, people feel very different about these things and some people can be greatly offended.
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@Amelieisme: If you're going to the rehearsal dinner, that would make it even weirder to not go to the wedding, in my opinion. I would suck it up and go. It'll only be an hour or so then you can go back the hotel and relax until the reception. If you're at the rehearsal, it will probably be noticed if you aren't there for the wedding.
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If at all possible, I always try to make the ceremony. I totally understand when there are circumstances that prevent people from doing so, bu if it's just because you don't want to sit through a long ceremony, I sort of think that's rude. Witnessing the marriage is the whole point of the party afterwards.
Again, if work, or other plans prevent you from going, that's one thing. We're going to a wedding in a few weeks, but it's the same day that we're coming back from vacation. The ceremony is at noon and the reception is at 5pm. There's just no way we'll be able to make it back from vacation in time to make the ceremony, so we're just attending the reception. I do feel pretty guilty about that though. I hate missing the ceremony.
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I'm not at all religious but I do think it would be rude to skip the ceremony, but then still attend the reception and enjoy the couples hospitality. If it was my wedding I would be annoyed. But if it definitely won't be noticed then I think you should just do what you are comfortable with!
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This is a tough question because everyone values weddings differently.
I voted for you to skip and just enjoy yourself because I feel like that would be best for you.
In my circle / culture, it's very common to not be invited to the ceremony and be only invited to the reception. So I always thought being invited to the ceremony was a big deal, so when I do get invited to ceremony part, I go because I guess I feel honored that they consider me close enough to be part of that.
Recently I was invited to a co-worker's ceremony and not invited to his reception which really rubbed me the wrong way and so I declined the invite.
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