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I had to go cold turkey because she freaked out if I was in the room with her. I'm sorry. It sucks.

What worked for us was "fading" when we had a similar issue around 2 years old. Mr. Bee actually suggested it to me. We would sit in the doorway until LO fell asleep, and then over the course of a few weeks worked out way out the door. We totally ignored him and read a book or surfed online. It didn't work 100% of the time (and those nights one of us slept on a mattress by his crib), but most nights it went well. Now at night, we sit out in the hallway for about 5 minutes, then say goodnight and shut the door and he is fine. It's like he needs to know we are out there while he settles in for the night. Worth a try maybe. Sleep deprivation sucks, so sorry.

We did CIO but what I will say is that like others, my LO cannot fall asleep in her crib with me in the room. She would just stand up in there and want to play. I know you said you didn't want to do CIO but you also mentioned that your kid is hysterical - we did CIO with checks and LO never got to a point that I would call hysterical. It also only took 3 nights (although we did it at 6 months). So probably less crying than you are enduring. Just food for thought.

My DD was significantly younger than yours (closer to 6 months) but we ended up having to do CIO with checks (Ferber). We tried several of the "gentle" methods including Sleep Lady to no avail, over a period of close to 2 months, and I feel like they all just made it worse. CIO took 2 days total. She has been sleeping like a champ ever since (she is almost 3 years old now).

I know you don't feel comfortable with CIO but if the alternative is quitting your job, I would seriously think about it. It was life changing for both us and her (she was a cranky baby and her mood changed dramatically for the better once she started getting better sleep, plus her naps also got better).

@MrsADS: We did SLS with LO1 and it worked like a dream! We tried the same method with LO2 and failed miserably (being in her room riled her up more than if we left her room). We ended up doing a modified CIO (with checks) and that worked beautifully (previously I never would have done CIO, but I was desperate and LO2 really needed to learn how to put herself to sleep).

Could you move up bedtime? Fighting sleep training means LO is getting less sleep and is likely overtired at bedtime (which makes it harder to sleep train). Has LO always started crying when its time for PJs/sleep sack?

Sleep training is HARD. Know you are helping your LO learn and important life skill (falling asleep). You know your LO best. If you think LO is struggling more with you in the room, consider trying something different. If things are really bad, consider hiring a sleep consultant - its worked miracles for a number of friends.

Ugh, I'm sorry. I totally get the exhaustion. I have had like five full nights of sleep in the year since DD was born.

I've done a lot of googling about this, because what else can you do while nursing in the middle of the night. Apparently some babies are "tension increasers" - if you leave them to cry, even for a little bit, they get more and more wound up instead of calming down. Also 11 months is just a tough age to sleep train because they've got so much going on developmentally, it wakes them up.

My son is a really good sleeper, but between my daughter's personality and just being more tired with two kids, I was never able to power through getting her to sleep in her crib. Now I think the moment has passed and I'm just waiting it out until she grows out of it... the few times she's slept well when she was not sick, teething, or learning something new give me hope.

Hopefully you find something that works though! Good luck!!!

@MrsADS: Oh, and I know everyone is saying early bedtime and make sure he's not overtired. That's all true and good, but for us that usually meant DD had more energy to fight it! We had to find the sweet spot of good and tired but not overtired.

Also (sorry, I have lots of thoughts on baby sleep I guess!) have you noticed there's a certain time he falls asleep every night? When we tried to get DD to fall asleep on her own we figured out she always fell asleep at 7:21 no matter what we did - she'd cry for more if we put her down earlier, or cry for 2 minutes if she went down at 7:19. Once we found her natural bedtime, it was a lot easier to get her down.

@MrsADS: I don't know that he's ever been hysterical when we've left, but he's definitely cried pretty hard. I agree with others, it sounds like he's getting overtired. Also, it could be that he knows what's coming next and is getting upset in anticipation.

I'm not sure what the best answer for you is, except to say that some crying now may be worth it. My son sleeps 11-12 hours at night with virtually no wake ups, and he's so much better off for it. We still have some nights that we struggle to get away and it's so much worse with a toddler than an infant. An infant just cries, but a toddler begs, crying, "no leave me mommy. mommy stay. mommy stay next to me." And so I give in an spend 2 hours in his bed hoping he'll fall asleep . Best thing we ever did as parents was sleep train him, because I could not deal with that every day, multiples wake ups a day.

@MrsADS: Good luck!!!

No advice but I can definitely relate. DD is 13 mos and she's never been a great sleeper. ever. She's a major comfor nurser and never ever falls asleep on her own, CIO isn't for me either. She would just keep crying and it breaks my heart. We're Co sleeping for now and waking up 3-4 times a night. It's hard and I'm SO TIREd! I'm at my whits end too and beyond exhausted. Idk what to do anymore uuuugh I know I somehow have to stop nursing her at night but it's so hard when that's the only thing that works.

@MrsADS: How is it going?
I just wanted to chime in and say my DD was nursed to sleep until 11 months and STTN regularly
She at 19 months goes down drowsy and still will wake to come in our bed I think with some kids the falling asleep on there own has no correlation to MOTN wakes