So I was sick on and off all of last week. Fevers on two separate occasions, nausea, vomiting. I stay at home and work very very part time. Of course nothing changed with my routine despite being sick as a dog. LO watched some kids shows and I tried to nap and rest. DH went to work as usual, calling home more often to make sure I was alive.
Yesterday DH gets home from a work trip sick and nauseous. Today, he stays home in bed all day, moping around, basically suffering for 24 hours with what I had for a week.
It took all I had to not give him side eye all day. But I did let a little jab in, saying along the lines of, I still did 100% of the child care when I was sick, now he knows how I felt when I was doing it.
Ugh. Ok rant over. Primary caregivers never get a break do we?
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Never. And men are seriously the most irritating when sick!! The biggest babies. Good for you for managing not to give him side eye all day - that takes willpower!!
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Never ever!
I have super bad headaches while pregnant. And I have really low iron so I am so tired and chasing my toddler all day.
DH woke up w a headache on Monday and called in sick and slept in. I don't hold back the side eye. I straight up told him I will never be ok with how different his sick days and my "sick days" are. -
@Autumnmama79: yes. I tol his this evening I was happy he was felling better because I didn't sign up to care for two babies only one
@Mrs. Champagne: exactly this. I'm a first time mom so this was my first eye opener into how different sick days are. Next time I'm sick and he asks if he needs to stay home from work I might just say YES.
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I hate this about being a SAHM. I get almost all the illnesses but can only lay in bed while sick on weekends or if I'm really really really sick.
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Hugs ladies. Funny I was just talking to a friend and men and their "sicknesses". One time many years ago, DH basically called in sick for a whole week, laid in bed and couldn't move with no specific symptoms except saying he's very sick. At the end he said, well, maybe that was just allergy. Really?
No break whatsoever for me. The only 2 breaks I got in my life after DS was, the time I drank too much water, lost my mind and was in the ER and was hospitalized. The other time was when I had the flu, and he was in desperate fear that I would get him and DS sick too before our holiday trip. So I was "quarantined". What is wrong with men????
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@irene: lol!!! That reminds me of when my Dh came down with a runny nose and went to urgent care. The PA said he could have the flu or maybe strep, prescribed him tamiflu and antibiotics and Dh stayed home for a week because "maybe he was contagious"
I'm pretty sure he just had a cold! Lol
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@Littlebit7: you need to just speak up and have him take the kids for a bit when you're sick! Maybe he knows you're superwoman and didn't think you needed help???
Hope you feel better!
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When H was 4 months old, she got sick, so I had to stay home with her. Then I came down with mastitis because she wasn't nursing well, a sinus infection from the cold I caught, and a raging eye infection since my defenses were low. I didn't feel like I could take us both to the doctor, so I asked my husband to drive us and he got pissed. But heaven forbid he do anything while he is sick. He just lays on the couch.
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@regberadaisy: I know, true. I just know though that if he were to stay home he would really need to be working from home. We live in a small place; I know I wouldn't be able to block out LO and relax/rest. It would probably just cause me more stress, ha.
To his credit I think this is his first work sick day he has *ever* taken (and we've been together 16 years). . But maybe he needs to get used to the idea of taking sick days if I'm the one sick!! -
@irene: quarantine. Haha
@avivoca: ooooof this sounds awful. Yeah DH slept half the day. Which I was sorta ok with since I didn't have to hear him complain
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I so get it. And regardless of any redeeming qualities your husband may have it is so so hard not to be resentful. I was 10 weeks pregnant and came down with a stomach virus that required hospitalization and I STILL had to do everything for LO and DH when I came home. But when DH hot the bug he cried about it all day and did nothing. I was so mad for a long time.
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@Mrs. Champagne: I am not proud of the cuss words that spill out of me when DH gets to take his sick days lol
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Never. There was a time that I was as sick as a dog and couldn't even get DH to come home. I seriously don't know how I survived it.
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It works the same in my family! But it's pointless for me to lie in bed when I'm sick, the kids would be all over me in minutes... they've let DH do it several times though. Except there was this one time when I randomly felt off and had to lie down, and DH actually had both of them occupied for half an hour. Despite feeling awful, it was heavenly!
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Oh geez...."man flu" is the worst! One little sniffle and DH thinks he has the flu or something horrible life-altering disease. Lol Lord help me when my boys get older and I have DH plus 2 boys in the house.
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Ugh, tell me about it! We both work FT but its still the case here.
DH has had several tummy bugs in the last couple of years and I do everything - wait on him and take sole responsibility for E. I keep her well away from him so she doesn't catch it. He is usually in bed for around 3 days when it happens.
On Sunday night, I was up all night throwing up. It was the first time I've had it since the last time I was pregnant! At 5.30am, my vomiting woke DH. I told him I wouldn't be well enough to drop E that morning. He agreed I would not. Well, at 7.15am, he was about to leave for work. E was still in her room but I could hear she was awake. I asked "what about E?". He looked incredulous and said Id have to phone his parents to come and pick her up. Clearly he had presumed this all along.... but it meant I had to change her, wash her, dress her as usual. He made some remark about being late, opened her bedroom door and left.
In fairness to him, he picked her up and did bedtime by himself that night, but I didn't see why he couldn't have gone in a bit late, given his pregnant wife was sick. The other way around, I make sure I cover everything so he doesn't even have to get out of bed.
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@Littlebit7: men and sickness
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I don't think it's a big deal to ask your DH to take a sick day when you and LO are both sick with something serious. Like to me, a cold you can power through even if you are kind of tired and miserable. Same with coughing.
But stomach virus or anything with a high fever--forget it, no taking care of kids unless it's an absolute emergency. The last time I had a stomach bug, Dh worked from home and watched LO (this was before we had two) most of the day except for 1 hour when he had an important call. I say her in front of the tv for that hour and laid on the couch, then went back to my room after he was done with the call.
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I had mastitis with fever and he couldn't bother to leave work to help me with our two kids, plus I was pregnant!!! But one sniffle and he's on his death bed....
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@BandDmommy: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA
@yellowbird: Oh! My husband went to the ER too, I forgot what it was, just something that doesn't matter and he exclaimed he had to go to the ER (note: Not urgent care). So we went. You know how they make you wait for HOURS if you are just nothing serious? We waited I think from 8 or 9pm until 4am in the morning. I swear. I remember it was something ridiculous like 6-8 hours. Then they basically checked him and said he's fine. That was way before DS was born so I bet he feels like we had all the time in the world so let's spend some of them in the ER. sigh.
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This was us the last 3 weeks of the year... he had a sniffle, and I was getting over E.Coli.... he would tell me "I'm just too tired and I can't do any more tonight", while leaving me with having to do all of the bath/bedtime routing for both girls while I was still sick as a dog.
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@BandDmommy: This made me lol, literally.
Someone needs to send me flowers the next time my husband is sick. I'll never forget the time he had to watch H when he was sick so I could go to a work event. He was so angry that I left him instead of skipping the event, but I couldn't miss it. Just a month before that, I was super sick and he went to a conference for two days (an hour away) and then stayed late for the executive session and could not understand why I wanted to kill him as soon as he got home. Then he asked me what was for dinner. I wouldn't have been as upset if the conference was mandatory, but it wasn't. He just wanted to go to it.
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This is seriously the bane of my existence. I remember when LO was 6 months old I got some kind of stomach bug. LO woke up in the middle of the night and I went to the bathroom, barfed, then went and got her and did the normal feeding and put her back down.
DH was bed-ridden for a WEEK a few days later when he caught the bug from me. Seriously I am still bitter.
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@BandDmommy: this is hilarious and so true
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My husband cracks me up because he feels like e needs the ER/doctor the MINUTE something is wrong him. DH got a sore throat a few weeks ago and told me he needed to call the doctor. I said why? He said "I think I have strep." I asked him if he had taken some ibuprofen yet. He said no. Advil, lozenges, and OJ cured everything in a day.
Then DH got food poisoning or norovirus recently. Was up all night puking (and was extra loud and dramatic about it) and was legitimately sick, but woke up in the morning saying he thought he needed to go to the ER because he needed IV fluids for dehydration. I asked if that was really necessary and he said "Well, I'm not able to keep fluids down. I haven't had anything but water the last 12 hours and I keep puking." I told him I had severe morning sickness or 6 months with my first pregnancy and 4 months with my second and I never once needed IV fluids at the ER for it. I suggested he let the virus run its course for at least 24 hours before going to the ER. He stopped puking within a day and was again fine in 2.
In all fairness, whenever I say I'm sick his first suggestion is the ER.
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