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I'm sure you came across my posts regarding this. We never ended up doing the change of clothes thing because it was so hard to bring up. We did limit visits there the entire first year, and encouraged hand washing. We blamed everything on our pediatrician, per their permission. It's a sticky situation

I told my MIL to bring a change of shirt for when she visits me and LO in the hospital...although, I'm not sure how much good it will do, since her car reeks of smoke and the "clean" shirt would be in there...and coming from their smoky apartment.

They're going to need to really air out their place before I'm comfortable bringing LO over there. I already don't really like taking DS there, and I get uncomfortable there myself. I often go out on the balcony to get air.

My MIL smokes heavily. Someone recommended that in the future (when we have children) that we request she use a heavy receiving blanket on top of her clothes while holding the baby/children. It would be up to her to determine if she would like to change her clothes.

I can only imagine that it will be a difficult conversation. She helped me bustle my wedding dress, but I had to tell her that the wedding dress could not stay in their home, because I couldn't risk it smelling like smoke.

My dad is a smoker. he only smokes outside and didn't even hold DS til he was a month old (his choice). He always came over showered and in clean clothes. Now that DS is a bit older (15 months), he does stop over sometimes after he's smoked, but he still always washes his face, brushes his teeth, and changes his shirt when he's over. He's been tryiing to quit since I was pregnant but hasn't been able to, he takes every precaution himself, which I'm thankful for.

Yeah, it didn't work My ILs are very heavy smokers and LO will never be allowed in their house for any length of time. They are no longer allowed to smoke outside my house, and we do try to push the hand washing, but they are sooo sensitive and annoying about it, so asking them to wear clothes never panned out. It sucks!

I'm looking forward to more responses, and have found the above useful. My MIL is a HEAVY indoor smoker. We live 2,300 miles away, but we plan on going to visit this summer. We won't be spending the night with them, because I just know she won't stop smoking inside (at least not for the whole day).

It's more than just our baby smelling like smoke ... Being around smoke can cause SIDS, so I guess I have no problem telling her we can't stay there.

I REALLY like the idea of a blanket, as someone above mentioned. You can tell them why, but it saves the embarrassment of asking them to change. Good luck!!

Hand washing and teeth brushing. Plus when my mom smokes, she wears a jacket and puts something over her hair. She knows smoking is bad for babies and has been very understanding. My dad opts to not hold her if it means having to wash his hands, so be prepared for that possibility (although I hope not because it's ass-ish). Everybody has been cool about it.

Oh, what a rough, painful issue and it's hard to give advice without knowing the ins and outs of someone's relationship! I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this.

The research on 3rd hand smoke is kind of scary and points at maybe being worse than second hand smoke, and washing clothes doesn't remove the residue, just the scent (maybe). I don't really have any advice, but I hope that you have an experience like @mrsjyw:

@fussygal: I don't think most people do right now, I think the research is pretty new! I actually learned about it from a student's speech.