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I hate that this is happening for you guys, but I try to look at things in terms of how I would handle them/make them better. I mean, I was at home with my son for 2 years and there were times when I left him in his jumperoo or in his swing so I could do something. It wasn't 24 hour stimulation and attention that first year.
If you were at home and your son wasn't fussing, but perfectly fine in his crib, what would you change? Is it a different answer because it's daycare?
I hope the director gets her act together and provides you a solution, but it's totally normal to have the director defend their employee. I would expect that, honestly.
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I'm sorry this is happening.
hugs to you. I hope the meeting with the director goes ok, but I would start looking for a new daycare. to me 25 minutes in a jumper with out any interaction is unacceptable. I think that's why jumpers/exersaucers are banned from daycares in California. They are not meant to be baby sitters. How could anyone not want to love on that sweet baby? I hope you can find a resolution soon.
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At LOs new daycare, they let the LOs hold their bottles in his classroom (their is only 1 child on a bottle everyone else is sippy cups) and it doesn't sit well with me. I think they should actually be holding the LOs while they are eating. That's a lame response, that your LO is a slow eater and needs to learn to hold the bottle. I'd be annoyed too.
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no advice just so sorry! I would be upset too. it sounds like it's not just that they are busy with another baby and need him to entertain himself for a minute...since every time you check it is happening. I would expect more interaction too.
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@Phillybaby2013: it hurts my heart to read this, I so hope you are able to find a good resolution. Your little boy is so precious and deserves the best! Much support to you mama
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I'm sorry this is happening! Definitely, I would say trust your instincts. The first daycare we put our boys into, I had uneasy feelings right away. After I questioned them about something that had happened, I didn't hear the response I wanted to and promptly pulled them out and moved them to a new daycare that we are SOO happy at.
For me, it really matters the initial response I get when I'm asking about a certain situation at daycare. If I have to tell the teacher that her response is unacceptable, that is a problem because that tells me they're not on the same page as me at all. After that point, I would question if they're actually following my wishes or just telling me something to my face and doing something else when I'm not there. That's what happened at the first daycare we used and that's why they're not there anymore!
I hope you can resolve this issue quickly and feel at peace soon!
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This made me so sad.
I would have taken the day off (if possible) and marched in to that daycare and demanded to speak to the director today.
Now that you've said something and the teacher didn't seem to care about your concerns, I would be worried they will just continue their behavior not correct it.
I hope you are able to meet with the director sooner rather than later to find a solution. -
@Phillybaby2013: 25 min. with their backs to him in a jumper is just unacceptable! My heart hurts for you. I would definitely talk to the director and look for other day cares or options. The teacher's response would just make me think that even i they did change, it would only be temporary as the teacher's attitude really can't be changed for long. Not only for supervision attention, but I feel like at that young of an age, they really need to be touched and have personal interaction and human contact. Sucks that chill babies get the short end of the stick.
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@LazyLightning: Seriously, this was my first thought. You provide webcams, you'd better be sure that you're providing the absolute best service possible. But then, it sounds like they are. And, you know, 25 minutes in a jumper is one thing, but with ZERO interaction? HELL no.
And I am the QUEEN of independent play. My toddler just entertained her self by walking our dog around the living room on a leash for 45 minutes, and I was thrilled. But no way in hell would I leave a baby alone for that length of time without any interaction. And how hard is it to come over, tickle some toes, sing a song, read a board book? There is just no excuse for not interacting with a baby for that length of time.
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@sarac: gosh I leave my kid in her activity gym for a half hour alone regularly! She yells/whines at me if I hover. Lol
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@Phillybaby2013: aw I wanna pick him up!! Of course not during his nap, haha. Good thing you have another option. You could also look into other daycares if that doesn't work out. Independent play is fine but no effort at all? So sad.
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Ugh, this is awful! How can they just ignore him? Part of how babies learn is interaction with other people. This just makes me sad. I hope your meeting with the director goes well, but in all honesty, I wouldn't have waited until Friday! I hope you get something worked out!
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@LazyLightning: I think it's cool for a parent to make that call - since it clearly works for both of you. But paying someone to not interact with a baby over long periods feels different to me.
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@sarac: I agree with that!
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I am angry on your behalf. Hopefully they will make changes and your talk with the director goes well.
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@Phillybaby2013: I've actually thought about you and your baby a lot today. I hope your meeting goes well tomorrow and that you'll post what their response is. I hope your 2nd shift job possibility works out for you.
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I've been thinking about this too
So sad, I hope you can find a new childcare solution soon!
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Were you able to speak with the director? I keep checking for an update
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I've been thinking about you, as well. I hope you had a discussion with the director but I really hope you've found something else with an opening...
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@Phillybaby2013: my heart brea breaksfor for you and your LO :(I it's ridiculous that they leave him alone for that long and make it seem like it's okay. :-(So many hugs going your way.
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This whole situation just makes me CRY. I can't believe how horrible this teacher is being and not caring for your son!!! It's awesome that he's such an easy going baby, but babies NEED attention!!!!! They can't just be ignored!
I hope things get better SOON! -
I've been following this and my heart hurts for your family. I would be LIVID if the person I chose to care for my child was ignoring her and not at all apologetic about it. I hope your meeting goes well today and that you are able to get the situation resolved, even if you are switching shifts/daycare providers.
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Thinking of you and your LO! Hope you were able to meet with the director.
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@Phillybaby2013: How did your meeting go with the director?
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Update!!
I met with the director today. She was very easy to talk to and I felt comfortable expressing my concerns. I told her what happened and that I wasn't happy and considering pulling B out. She was understanding and wanted to know if anything could be done to help us stay. She didn't defend Ms. K but made it seem like she knows that she doesn't always come across the best way and her way about things can be perceived as a bit "gruff." I don't know how they figure out staffing but I would think than that maybe Ms. K wouldn't be the best person to be in the infant room for this reason but hey I don't run a daycare. She asked how things have been since this happened and I had to admit that things have seemed much better from what I've seen but that my trust has been broken. She said she would address the situation with Ms. K and also talk to the head teacher (whom I really like) and see if she would be B's primary teacher instead if we were willing to stay.
I also brought up about the babies sleeping on their belly's (some of you probably read the thread I started on that). Basically, I realized they were putting B down on his belly for naps (long before he was rolling on his own). This bothered me and I brought it up. Of course the following week he started sleeping on his belly at home but it was a simple thing that could have been avoided if they had asked me first. She said she didn't know this was going on and that she often goes into the room to do checks but doesn't always monitor the cribs when babies are sleeping. She assured me that she would address this as it goes against regulations. Overall it was a good talk even though I don't know how she is going to approach Ms. K or how she will hold her accountable.
I wish I could say this solved everything. I found out on Wednesday that HR would approve me to switch to the 3p-1130p shift. I'm now trying to make sense of what is the best decision for B and for our little family. I've had many talks with DH and he supports whatever we decide. There are so many pros and cons to each side but I'm scared. Ultimately it's up to me and I'm hoping that I make the right choice. This is the hardest thing that has crossed my path in life so far. Why couldn't we have just won the lottery.
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@Phillybaby2013: oh honey:( I'm glad the talk went well, but it is a hard decision if your trust is broken. I stick to my guns about leaving if you don't love a place: but then again, I'm not living your life or working your shift, so don't listen to me
I pray you find/choose a solution that makes you VERY VERY happy:) you & B and DH deserve i t:)
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Good luck!! In whatever u decide. But I have to say, it will probably be super tiring taking care of a baby all day and then have to go to work.....
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@Phillybaby2013: I'm sorry it's such a hard decision
I would still feel a little uncomfortable even though the director is going to address the situation. FWIW, I feel like I've said, "can't we just win the lottery?" Since becoming parents, so many times! Work schedule + trying to take care of LO is so stressful.
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I read your post out to my younger sister (a qualified daycare teacher) and her mouth was open the whole time. She couldn't believe it!
Did the director mention anything regarding her speaking to the grouchy teacher? I would be pretty unhappy if she just skirted that issue, I would just be worried that the next easygoing baby who comes along will get the same treatment from her!
I mean, I regularly leave my baby playing by himself. he doesn't play if i hover, he just yells at me. but we still have snuggle time and story time and exploring time... it makes me sad to think of your little cutie there all by himself
I hope this works out for you, however it does!
hugs to you. I hope the meeting with the director goes ok, but I would start looking for a new daycare. to me 25 minutes in a jumper with out any interaction is unacceptable. I think that's why jumpers/exersaucers are banned from daycares in California. They are not meant to be baby sitters. How could anyone not want to love on that sweet baby? I hope you can find a resolution soon.
I pray you find/choose a solution that makes you VERY VERY happy:) you & B and DH deserve i t:)
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