Obviously four hands are better than two...but do you think you could have managed solo care for the first month, two, or three? Not for the entire 7 day week, but the majority of each week.
DH will be gone day & night M-F for two months straight. If I deliver on my due date his OOT rotation will begin 2 weeks after baby is born. Average FTM deliver at 41+3, so if that's the case he'll pack up less than a week after baby is born.
I'm talking one mom and one baby.
apricot / 490 posts
This is what I did. Other people have other options? DH gets paternity leave? What kind of world is this?
grapefruit / 4355 posts
This is what I did. DH got two weeks of paternity leave (one week of which was spent in the hospital). I didn't have any problems taking care of DD by myself.
apricot / 477 posts
No, I couldn't but I was also struggling with what I'll refer to as extended baby blues. I could have done 6+ plus solo though and I may have to very soon.
My friend however, her DH was away for there months exactly three weeks after their first was born and she did great.
persimmon / 1364 posts
That's what I did. Although DH technically gets family leave of 6 weeks, it's really frowned upon at his work. He took two weeks after which it was just me and DD together very day. The first day was hard but after that it was no biggie. I still refer to maternity leave as the best 3 months of my life.
pomegranate / 3003 posts
DH went back to work week three, and I managed just fine. I had my parents pop in occasionally, but more as company than help.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I had a csection and DH took a month long paternity leave. I was very stressed out the first 3 weeks after LO 1 because of BF-ing but I managed fine after that!
pomelo / 5678 posts
DH only had a few days off work, then it was just me! He was there to help at night, though.
grapefruit / 4903 posts
I was grateful to have DH there the first two weeks, but otherwise I was solo. It might be hard, but of course it's manageable! You are capable of almost anything from when you have to be!
pomegranate / 3438 posts
DH only had one week off of work and most of that time was spent running out and getting things we forgot or getting me food.
When he went back to work I was fine. I showered in the mornings before he left for work. In the early weeks most of my time was spent in the recliner with a baby attached to my boob. Once we got into somewhat of a routine I was able to go for walks or drive somewhere to meet DH for lunch.
persimmon / 1233 posts
Would he be out of town or just at work? Nights are the hardest for us - if it's just daytime then totally doable. If not, then I'd try to have some help occasionally so you can get a break. Also I imagine it depends on how chill your baby is.
pear / 1593 posts
I'm not sure if you mean solo as in overnight as well, or being alone during the day, but I did both and it was fine. DH was gone 1-2 nights a week while I was on maternity leave and it wasn't much of a difference since our agreement for maternity leave was I handled all night wakings since he was working (we split it once I went back to work).
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
It is absolutely doable, and I think the norm for most.
I think the three most important factors on whether it is a breeze or challenging or somewhere in between are:
1) your physical recovery (C-section? Tears? Complications?)
2) your "type" of baby (Easy/sleepy? Colicky? Feeding struggles?)
3) your emotional/mental state (PPD/PPA? Struggling with sleep deprivation? On a happy hormone high?)
There's no way to predict or plan for any of those! I had all 3 "bad" options and I didn't do well when I was alone for extended periods. I was fortunate to have a lot of help. But know that a lot of people get all 3 "good" options and love the newborn stage 
ETA: Now that I have a very active 2 year old, I often marvel at how "easy" it is to have a newborn in some respects. Even though LO cried a loooot, she couldn't move, haha! It's so hard when you are in it but it is OKAY to put your baby in the swing for a couple minutes and make yourself a sandwich!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
I could have, but I'm glad I didn't have to! My mom was with me a week, then my MIL for two, then DH took 2 weeks of paternity leave. The first time I was alone all day with DD she was 6 weeks old.
apricot / 343 posts
My husband only had a week off so I was by myself from about 9 - 5 (sometimes later) Monday through Friday. I had a csection. We were fine! My mom actually came over to help but there really was nothing to help with, it was more to hang out!
pineapple / 12793 posts
I've been on my own by the second week with all three kids.
By the second month I'd done a few days and nights when DH has had to travel for work.
It's not that bad.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
Yup- DH had 1 week off and then I was solo. Totally fine. They dont do much but sleep in the beginning anyway. I'll take a newborn solo anyway over a toddler solo!
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
DH got a week off when K was born, but with M, he went back to work almost immediately. So I was solo-parenting 5 days and 3 nights of the week with both kids.
I think this is the norm for most though- I don't know any families who have had both parents on leave at the same time.
apricot / 477 posts
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: thanks.
My comment was also based on if DH hadn't come home each night. I had been alone all day with her for 10.5 months until she started daycare.
pomegranate / 3580 posts
It wasn't always the easiest, but totally doable. DH only got three days off or work so I was alone during his work hours M-F for my four months of mat. leave.
persimmon / 1345 posts
I had a csec for my first and DH had to go back to work (albeit half days) as soon as we came home. We were in the hospital for about a week so his vacation days were all spent on the times I was in the hospital.
Totally doable. My mom did come over for a couple of days.
Hubby also left for a business trip after about a month for a week. Again, it wasn't bad.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@runnerd: yes day and night. 5 days 4 nights during the week for two months I will be solo.
@Applesandbananas: it's not so much for me. DH is thinking about canceling a two job month rotation. The situation isn't ideal- he'd rather be home every day (or at least evening) with baby, but we were banking on my mom being there when he wasn't. She's no longer a helping hand guarantee during my mat leave. The situation is still fluid, but I just don't want to paint a rosy picture for him if I will really need someone with me.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Of course? DH didn't take paternity leave. He went back to work the next day.
nectarine / 2028 posts
That's what I did. My husband had an out-of-town trial when my son was two months old, so from his birth-the two-week trial I was pretty much on my own.
pear / 1718 posts
Yup! Totally doable. I assume DH is at work, not out of town for work? I would usually take a shower as soon as DH got home, if I hadn't already. I would make up errands to run just so DD and I could get out. Groceries, library, second hand baby clothes stores, etc.
I fondly remember the baths I took when DH got home on Fridays. Hand baby over, run!
ETA: I see that it is day and night. If it were me, I'd schedule family or a mother's helper go come 2-3 days a week for a bit for respite.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@SweetCaroline: no out of town. He'll be a flight away.
I should go back and make my thread more clear.
pomelo / 5678 posts
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I will say I think a natural adrenaline takes over when baby comes that allows us to do amazing things!
persimmon / 1483 posts
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: it's hard to say. With my first, my husband took his first business trip (3 nights) at 5 weeks. I was so tired I straight up hallucinated one night. With my second, he took his first trip at 6 weeks and although I was grumpy as all hell when he got back, it seemed more manageable.
coconut / 8430 posts
I don't think I could have. I think it took me a full 2 weeks to be off narcotics from my emergency C-section. I wouldn't have wanted to be alone with baby at that time with zero support for groceries, cooking, etc. since it wouldn't have been safe to drive!
DH went back to work at 2 weeks but my mom was around to help for another week or two. At 4 weeks I was alone during the day and I was ok with that. I was also able to drive at that point so I could meet friends/do groceries, etc.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@SweetCaroline: boom! Care.com has mother's helpers
Not having a good recovery has not even really crossed my mind. I know anything can happen...
grapefruit / 4545 posts
It's totally doable.
Dh had like a day or two off work then went back and it was her and I all day...and I preferred to have DH sleep in another bedroom so overnight was just her and I as well. Dh was there from about 5-9 at night...which is def worth something but I still did the lion share and it was fine!
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: day and night is totally different! No way could I have handled it unti she was closer to 2 months old. This time, I would have been fine right away because my PPD didn't set in until 2-3 months pp
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
So he leaves Monday morning and back Friday night? I could have done it, but it would have been very very rough. I counted down the last hour before he came home - there was a lot of witching hour business in those early months. If it has to be, I strongly recommend getting some sort of help, even if just for an hour every day.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@Grace: yes. He's doing that now (Jan-Mar) except every other week he comes back Thursday instead of Friday. For this next rotation he's pretty sure he can't work his flex schedule due to the nature of the assignment. He's missing three months of my entire pregnancy during the week 
, but I get the bed all to myself .
clementine / 918 posts
I think a mother's helper during dinner-ish time would be a wise investment (even a high school student). You won't know until your baby is here, but if your child has a witching hour(s) I imagine it will be very difficult to stay calm and sane without someone to give the crying baby to for 10 minutes here and there. If you have another set of hands to help with baby or make dinner and do chores, I think I could have done it.
apricot / 259 posts
This has been an eye opening thread! DH will have a week of paternity leave but both my parents will be here for 2 weeks after my due date and my mom will stay for ghe babies first month. My MIL would visit at some point during that month or right after.
I've been slightly upset that we won't have any time as a family of 3 probably until baby is 6 weeks but you ladies are making my reconsider my position.
coconut / 8483 posts
I think since he is going to be gone all day and night it's totally different then just being gone for the work day.
By 5pm I was sooooo glad he was home (with dinner!) so I could eat and have a couple hours of adult convo and someone else holding the baby. He slept in a different room during the week when ds was a newborn (super demanding job) so I solo'd the nights, but those hours after he was home from work were pretty important. I would eat and have a bath every single night while he was in charge. He also would give a bottle of pumped milk so I could have a break. 2 months is a long time!
I'm sure I *could* have done ok without him... But I couldn't even drive for a couple weeks due to bad tearing, so I might have gone crazy.
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