If you are currently staying home with your kids and solo parenting while your spouse works, tell me about your situation. How many kids do you have? What are their ages? How are you handling it? I have 3 kids ages 5,2 and 2 weeks. My husband is currently on paternity leave but he’s going back in two weeks and I’m scared that I won’t be able to keep up with these three. Just looking for someone who can relate!
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I'm a single parent. My kids are almost 5 and almost 7. They are with their dad for a bit less than 48 hours a week. I'm also caring for a toddler and an infant whose parents are working in a science field-well sanitized so pretty safe but not kid friendly. I have them M-F 9-5
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I have 3 kids similar in age (almost 5, 2, and 9 months). I SAH with them. My husband is fortunate to work from home during all of this but he is really not available from 7-6 and works on a completely separate floor from us so I only see him when he comes downstairs to get coffee or eat lunch. I am not going to lie, when my youngest was born it was hard (this was pre-pandemic of course). Specifically, my 2 year old was the hardest because he was very clingy and while he loved his brother he did not like not having my attention. I try to get up before them every day, make their breakfast, get snacks and milk cups and all of that ready. While they eat breakfast I start to make lunch and clean up the kitchen. I wore my newborn a lot. My oldest doesn't nap but he has to have quiet time for at least an hour in the afternoon while the other two nap. A lot of times I was breastfeeding the baby while my two year old clutched my legs and cried. It was hard, but it's gotten easier. With kids that young and a newborn I feel like it's ok to be in survival mode for awhile. Screen time or movies or tv shows if that's what keeps them occupied. Buy disney+. Let them eat a lot of mac n cheese for dinner. See if your DH can take them off your hands for an hour or so when he gets home or is done working. This was really key for me, even if he just took the older two to another room to play while I was alone with the baby.
I guess a lot of this advice isn't specifically related to the pandemic but it still applies. It's hard, but you can do this! Feel free to wall me if you want to vent!
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I’m also home with three! 6, almost 4, almost 2. My husband is working from home about 50% of the time. But he’s in his office mostly unavailable. He works a lot.
It’s... a lot! The baby is a major handful and the 6 year old is... very moody. Having absolutely zero breaks is trying for sure. Usually he’s in full time school and the younger two have preschool two mornings a week, plus a sitter every other Friday.
Things are going ok but my patience is shot. Good luck... not a ton of advice other then don’t feel guilty if you have a lot of lazy tv days!! Oh and actual advice I guess I have two things
1) go outside. Everyone is happier. It’s freezing here but we make it work
2) water. Have a bath! Shower! Anything. Wastes some time, gets them clean, etc. Follow @busytoddler on Instagram for awesome ideas. -
It’s hard but you can do it! I SAH and am mostly solo before and after the pandemic. My kids are now 8, 5 and 1.5. I struggled a lot the youngest’s first year, it just felt crazy to meet everyone’s needs. For sure wear that baby and don’t allow guilt over tv or whatever works to get through the first months. If you need a break, start a show as soon as the baby falls asleep and go in another room (even if baby is in your arms). For me I find a very loose structure helpful, kind of gives you things to look forward to even if it feels like the screaming never stops (still have that problem!). Like at 10ish we have snack, we will go outside around these times, etc. Also for your 5 year old maybe you can set some rules that help you. Like here it’s no snacks until you are dressed (who cares what they wear right now anyway?). Or basically bribe the kids to play together while you feed the baby ... whatever it takes to stay sane! Hugs
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I’m currently trying to solo parent during the day while working “full time” from home and home schooling my oldest - my three are 7, 5 and 2. It is what it is so I just take a lot of deep breaths and try to stay positive. Agree with above that having a basic routine helps everyone so much. My kids are not great when there’s a long day stretching out ahead of them with no idea of what we’ll do. For us, things I’ve found important are that we get dressed every morning and that we NEED to go outside no matter the weather.
With you having such a tiny new one, instead of taking it day by day, take it half hour by half hour. You are totally in the “just get by” stage right now, so do whatever makes things easier for all of you! Whether that’s more screen time, more snacks, whatever. Also try to remember that every day you get to start over. We had an AWFUL day this Monday, but Tuesday we wiped the slate clean and started fresh. One thing that also is helping me now and helped when mine were that little was that when DH gets home from work I leave for an hour. Pre pandemic that would mean getting coffee or going to the library, but now I just drive around listening to a podcast or audiobook. Also once he’s home he is more “on” than me, like I’ll help if course but those few hours before bedtime I try to make him the default parent.
Hang in there! It’s a tough stage especially now with what’s going on, but you’ll get through it. Also I’d reach out to friends and do a Zoom with them at night, we just did this last week and it really lifted my spirits!
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