I was at a work event all last week and I was noticeably not drinking alcohol. Jokes were made all week that I may be pregnant and I copped to TTC. My female coworker demanded I invite her to the baby shower when the time comes. And I told her we aren't going to have a shower. Her reaction was "whaaat!? You get so many gifts!" And I explained that's why; DH is firm that a baby is our responsibility and we will pay for all of its gear. I used DH's term "charity" after she finished explaining how she received 80 gifts at her shower. I wish I hadn't used the word charity because I actually like baby showers and don't mind buying presents for friends.

If you didn't have a shower (declined offers/ firm on surprises) how did you politely explain why? We aren't doing it for religious purposes so that is out. I know our stance is a bit odd because even wealthy people throw showers for each other. We, really me, plans to host a sip & see, but not send registry or wish list info. I really want that event to just be about meeting the baby. I am sure people will give gifts such as grandparents and God parents, but we are not going to rely on them for necessities or frivolous gear. We don't want an event where gifts are expected.