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Both of our parents are local and have had our son for many overnights. Sometimes it's a special occasion and sometimes it's just for a break. We love it. My in laws watch him a few days a week and can't get enough, they want him to sleep over all the time. So sometimes when they watch him on a Friday we won't pick him up until Saturday morning so we get a break and then still get to spend most of the weekend with him. He's so happy with his grandparents and they adore him so I don't really feel bad. I feel worse about working full time and being away for those long days but of course I know there's a good reason for it.
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@My Only Sunshine: that's definitely true - I know they are more comfortable at their house than ours
@Truth Bombs: that definitely is a big part of the guilt I guess, since I work FT. This time has been really nice though be they kept him during the week, so I missed an hour in the morning and 3 hours at night instead of an entire day like on the weekends
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My grandma raised me... my parents and grandpa all worked. I felt very loved and it was great. My relationship with my parents isn't the greatest, but I think it's the quality, not the quantity, of time we spent together.
I know a family that sent their son to China to live with his grandparents for a year. And another family that had twins when their oldest was two or three, couldn't cope, and sent him to live with his grandparents. I can't imagine going to such an extreme, but sometimes people rely on grandparents that much!
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We would do it more if I liked my MIL more or if my parents lived closer. I've been away from him 3 times in a year and I loved every second every time. But I cut off my nose to spite my face - the thought of my MIL obsessing over him for a whole weekend makes my skin crawl. She is constantly up in his grill and it drives me bonkers.
We are doing it in October because my husband won a trip at a charity poker event. I hate that she'll be staying with him but it's for 3 whole nights of dinner and shopping and sleeping in, so...I'll let it slide!
I'm also going away the FOLLOWING weekend and my mom is flying in to stay with him. That's how much I don't want my MIL watching him 2 weekends in a row! -
My LOs sleep over at my inlaws for date nights and usually when I travel for business 2-3 times a year because it's easier for DH. They are the primary caretakers while we WOH so they know their schedules and have everything there. My parents prefer to watch them at our house since we'd have to take everything to them. My ILs would do it more but since I work I don't like giving up all my time with them.
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We've left our son a few times with both our sets of parents. I'm sure it will happen more and more frequently as he gets older.
I definitely remember spending a lot of time at my grandparents house and did love having sleepovers.
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We've only left him overnight once, but mostly it's due to distance. I don't feel like my ILs (who live locally) are equipped to take care of a baby/toddler, and my parents live 3 hours away. But we're going to drop him off at my parents in October when we go to a destination wedding. I'd be open to doing it more but it's just not always worth the extra drive.
We have friends who have parents local, and the kids spend the night there all the time. The parents babysit for them and it's just easier for the kids to stay there and sleep and the parents get them the next day.
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I had my first time away from dd at the start of this month when I gave birth and stayed at the birth center for 2 nights. DD is 3 next month and I've never felt the need to spend the night away from her, plus I would feel guilty messing up her night routine. When I was away my mum spent the first night with her at our house and then dh stayed home the 2nd night with her.
My mil has a weird obsession with having dd stay the night at their house but I don't trust them to follow my rules so that won't happen in the next few years at least. My nephew stays there pretty much every weekend though. -
I am all about leaving LO with his grandparents, but unfortunately neither set is interested in having him stay the night yet
My parents live close by, and they are more than willing to come over and put him to bed, but my mom tells me she doesn't understand why/how I could leave him overnight. So enjoy it and I think it's great they are willing to do it and have fun making memories with your LO!
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The only reason we haven't done it MORE is because they don't live anywhere near us! But next weekend (labor day) they are going to be with her for 4 days/3 nights for our first full weekend away since she was born (she's 2.5). She's done a few overnights with them before. We'd love it if she did more!
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My ds spent the night at my mom's this past weekend for the first time at 21 months. Dang, I wish I would have given in sooner - I got so much done!
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My son goes to my moms house for a week every three months. He loves it and they love it! Also, you might be surprised at behavior and sleep when you aren't around. DS hasn't always slept through the night for me but he has every single time he is with my mom. Even when he was a baby! (6 months+). My mom actually prefers watching him over my teenage nephews! The months he doesn't stay for a week we might do a long weekend. I think it's great because he has such a great bond with them and DH and I get a break! It's nice to be able to get projects done around the house without the extra "help"!
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If I count straight hours, my son spends more time with my parents than he does with my husband and I. He's there during the day as my parents do our before and after care, so it's a lot. I've tried to have him spend the night there, but he refuses, lol.
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My MIL use to watch her 1 day a week while I worked and would babysit on the weekend if we wanted to go to a movie or go out to dinner but my inlaws prefer to come to our house since all her stuff is there. They're only like 15min away.
We leave our LO with my parents all the time and have since she was 6 months old. My parents are a little farther away, like an hour. They love having my baby all to themselves and always offer to take her over night even just to give us a break. I also love that they have a car seat and aren't afraid to take her out and about.
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I have no problem with my girls staying the night at my parents. My parents are very, very helpful and love to spend time with their grandkids. But until I was done nursing, it didn't make sense for them to stay at my mom's "just for the heck of it" if it meant I would have to pump and deal with all of that. So my girls didn't stay overnight with them until they weaned (19 months and 16.5 months).
Also, my husband works nights and I really miss the kids when they're gone. I think I like it better when they're home rather than when they're gone!
ETA: They have stayed for one 5-day chunk when DH and I went on our babymoon, and then 3 seperate, 1-night, "just for fun" overnights.
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i didn't read all the comments or see the other thread, but there are 2 reasons LO does not spend a lot of time away from us/with grandparents. First, we don't live near them
DH's parents live really far up north and at best we see them a couple of times a year. My parents are a 6 hour drive. Second, both our mothers' health is not the greatest, so it would be too much for them to look after LO for extended periods of time.We have done plenty of date nights with a babysitter and when my mom comes to visit, but we have not been away overnight - both DH and I - at all. However, LO is almost 3 now and easier to handle than a baby, so next month when my mom visits, we are looking into doing our first overnight trip. We will stay somewhere only a few hours away and just one night...but i am quite looking forward to it! it will also serve as our "mini babymoon" since #2 will be here in 5.5 months.
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@runnerd: My DD is just about to turn 9 mo, AND she isn't sleep trained or anything so I think that's one main reason we don't leave her much. Plus, my mom already watches her most the week so I feel bad asking for extra! I don't love my MIL watching her haha just b/c my mom does it better
I imagine once she's in daycare way more I'd be so happy to leave her with my parents more on weekends! I practically grew up with my grandmother (I actually lived with my grandma during the week b/c my parents home/work were too far away so it didn't make sense to pick up/drop off). I don't believe I have any lingering psych issues, and b/c of that I was so close to my grandma and aunts (they still lived at home then).
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We live 8 hours away from our parents, so we haven't had an occasion to leave LO with them yet. However, my sisters live locally and we are planning on a few overnights for various travel plans when he's about 18-20 months. If an occasion arises sooner than that we'll definitely take them up on it! DH feels guilty but my sisters are obsessed with LO and I trust them completely - I don't feel guilty and you shouldn't either!
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I'm not sure if anyone touched on this but I bet a big reason is because everyone is so much more spread out now!
My LO spends larger and larger chunks of time with my in-laws. She's almost 3 now and has done several entire week long stretches. The older she gets, the longer she can feel free to hang out there! Ha. I don't mind it at all.
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I think the best thing we can do as parents is to give them a good, happy life with people that love them, and it definitely doesn't have to be us all the time!
We haven't left LO overnight much so far because we don't have family nearby, but we are planning to send him to sleepaway camp when he turns 8. I am already counting down the days! No guilt.
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I m with you! Im happy to utilize grandparents! (And they volunteer and create opportunities so I don't feel like I'm taking advantage). Parents need a break sometimes.
DD is 3 months old and she's spending the night at grandma and grandpa's (my in-laws) on Saturday "just because". And my mom is going to watch her Mon-Fri after Labor Day so that DH and I can go to Las Vegas!
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My LO stays over at both sets of grandparents at least monthly! I definitely miss her when she's gone overnight but have never felt guilty for letting her have slumber parties with her family. I remember growing up fighting with my cousins/siblings over whose turn it was to stay at our grandparents house- those sleepovers are some of my favorite childhood memories, so I'm glad im providing my daughter with the same opportunity.
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Ds has done overnights with my parents just as much or even more than you! My mom has been our primary care for the last 2.5 years and we've done a lot of overnights and even a five day vaca sans Ds! I always feel guilty asking her since she watches him already but she's always SO excited as well as my dad! We haven't yet with the newborn and won't for a while but we def will again when the time comes!
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If my parents lived near us, they'd be sleeping over ALL THE TIME and my mom would love it!!!
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@runnerd: haha you shouldn't feel any guilt! If I knew it would only take one time to get over the initial hump, I would have done it before then! The sleeping and nursing thing were the main inconveniences. You gotta do what you gotta do to take care of yourself, too! Happy parents make happy kids!
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I haven't spent the night away from lo yet (she's 17 months next week), and I'm still hesitant to since I'm still nursing. That said, I have definitely fantasized about a full night sleep/sleeping in! Especially since Dh has traveled for work and gotten it
my parents are chomping at the bit to have her for an overnight, but I'm not sure when I'll feel ready, prob not until weaning
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Don't feel quilty!
Like others, weekends are only quality time together. And most weeks the only time DH gets to see her. So we don't do it a lot. She stayed at my parents overnight at 7 months. We are planning an overnight visit in Sept so we can go on a date. They watched her for 5 days in March at our house and will do the same in November.
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Don't feel bad! Once I'm not nursing anymore, I'm sure we'll do this! Our families are both pretty close, and both grandmas are always begging to keep her overnight. Right now, she's use to nursing as soon as she wakes up, and so I'd like to keep it that way.
I have a coworker whose almost-one-year-old daughter spends one night a week with her parents (who live in town). It's a win-win for everyone!
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From 4 months to 10 months, my LO spent every Tuesday night at my IL's house! I would drop him off on Tuesday afternoon and pick him up Wednesday afternoon. But we had to stop this recently because he doesn't sleep well there. But I guess we had 6 months of it so it was nice while it lasted...
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My mom has come to spend the night with us numerous times to help me out on night feedings. When I go back to work DS will actually be spending the night once a week with my mom. I definitely don't feel bad as it was her suggestion and I value the quality time they will have together.
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This is a touchy subject for me. My parents live 45 minutes away and I already know I won't let my daughter stay overnight with them. I could possibly be okay with my mom watching her at my house, but I really am not sure yet.
My in laws live several hours away so it would have to coincide with a planned trip or something. I trust them a little more but if my mom knew it was happening I can't imagine it would go over very well...
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@runnerd: oh gosh, you definitely aren't alone! My toddler is 2 now (the baby is just 3 weeks old), but we don't even live near either set of grandparents and we've still managed quite a few trips/overnights where they grandparents watched her. Luckily, all of our parents are retired, and still in good enough shape to watch kids and are happy to do it, so as long as we schedule it wayyyy in advance, then they will come watch LO while we travel..
So far DH and I have left LO to:
-fly to another state for an NFL game
-Destination wedding in DR
-Destination wedding in Dallas
-Anniversary long weekend away
-some other trip I can't even recall right now, but I know DHs parents watched LO.All of those were trips of 3-5 days away. On top of that, when we visit the grandparents or when they visit us, the grandparents often insist on keeping LO in their room for a few nights so we can rest (she's always been a notoriously bad sleeper) and we happily let them. So LO has spent a *lot* of nights away from us, even when we were all in the same house. I was an EPer, so I would just pump and someone else would feed her a bottle.
At least it made it easy for us to be away from her when I was in the hospital (she was with my mom)--we'd done it a lot before.
My parents live close by, and they are more than willing to come over and put him to bed, but my mom tells me she doesn't understand why/how I could leave him overnight. So enjoy it and I think it's great they are willing to do it and have fun making memories with your LO!
DH's parents live really far up north and at best we see them a couple of times a year. My parents are a 6 hour drive. Second, both our mothers' health is not the greatest, so it would be too much for them to look after LO for extended periods of time.
I imagine once she's in daycare way more I'd be so happy to leave her with my parents more on weekends! 
my parents are chomping at the bit to have her for an overnight, but I'm not sure when I'll feel ready, prob not until weaning
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