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open hand spanking is what I am comfortable with.

Any spanking makes me uncomfortable.

We were spanked with a flat wooden paddle, and I don't think anything was wrong with that. However, I will probably just spank with an open hand. I think it has more to do with the world now compared to then. Pretty much everyone I knew got spanked, and now tons of my friends don't spank their kids. Kind of an interesting cultural shift.

I use a wooden spoon to spank DS and DH uses a belt. I used an open hand until DS was about 5 and then it became ineffective and hurt my not fatty hand more than it hurt his fatty butt... And for me, an ineffective spanking does more harm than good. The behavior usually doesn't change and then you just fight more and more often than giving a good swat and then not having a repeat of the behavior & discipline.

For me spanking anywhere other than the bottom is not okay, although if the kiddo doesn't want to stand still then that's on them... DS got his hand swiped once and since he hasn't put his hand in the way. And, I also feel that spanking without legitimate reason or out of anger is considered abuse. We spank b/c a rule was broken and when it's broken, not b/c "I've had it up to here..." and am frustrated. (really like I said in the other post we rarely spank or need to spank anyways)

For me, having experience relational abuse & working with young women who grew up in abusive homes I have a pretty set idea on abuse vs. discipline....

Abuse is given with the intent to tear-down, demean, and degrade... where as proper discipline (spanking in our case) is done with intent to teach, build up & mold a specific character or behavior.

sidenote: How you administer discipline in many cases in more important than what form you choose, and your kids will know that. Even using time outs and taking things away can be abusive if done out of being inconvenienced or angered. *shrugs shoulders*

I think spanking should also be a teavhig experience like any other form of discipline. My mom always talked to us about what we did wrong, how we could avoid it in the future and that she really loved us and wanted us yo learn. We also always got warnings, and my mom was the queen of other creative punishments, which I always hated much, much worse than a spanking!

I think whatever form of punishment we use, we'll just have to make sure that my child feels that the risk will always be greater than the reward for bad behavior. If he thinks time outs are much worse than any "fun" he gets from misbehaving, then time outs will be what we will use. If he thinks the naughty act is so much more fun than any punishment he receives, we will up the ante and will resort to spanking if need be. The pain from physical punishment, when done right, will most likely be greater than any "fun" he gets out of doing the naughty act.

It's kind of like gambling for me. When I win money, I'm happy. But when I lose money, I HAAAATE it much more than I like winning. So I never gamble because the risk is so much greater than any reward I would get from winning.

Thankfully my DH is 100% on board so will try the lesser forms of punishment first and then move up to physical punishment if we need to go there.

I was never spanked, but I never really needed to be. I think @mrbee makes a good point about alternate techniques supplanting spanking. My parents raised us in an environment where spanking wasn't necessary because they used other methods to discipline us. I hope our home is a positive one that encourages good behaviour through our "family culture" rather than through punishments.
That said, I'm all talk until LO actually gets here and tests my theories!

After reading this thread, I was discussing stances on spanking with a friend of mine and she sent me this link:
http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/06/why-spanking-doesnt-work/?hpt=hp_t3
An interesting read...

I'm going to spank using an object.. I read that hand spanking isn't a good idea. I'll probably practice on myself and hit hard enough for it to sting without leaving a welt.

@daniellemybelle: Where do you live?

I'm personally not a fan of spanking. Like Mr. Bee mentioned, there are so many different discipline techniques that I think could/should be used before spanking. The way I look at it is, if I can't paddle my husband's butt with a spoon or strike him with a belt, why would I do that to my LO who is so much smaller than me? And really what is, say a 2 year old, doing so badly tht would make them "detested" being hit with with an object? Also, according to the laws, at least where I live, that is considered child abuse and the same is true for leaving a mark and having sworn to be a mandated reporter because of the job I previously held before staying home, I would personally still feel obligated to report that to the authorities.

I'm opposed to spanking with anything other than a hand. If you aren't able to feel the contact it's a lot more likely that you'll hit too hard.

I do intend to spank if necessary but I have REALLY set guidelines about it. I will only spank with my hand. And it will only come from me. My husband is a former pro football player and he is really large and strong. I worry that he would hit too hard without knowing it, and I worry our children would fear it too much just because of his stature. I will also only spank as punishment if the child is doing something that may hurt them (running into the street, trying to touch the oven, etc). I think spanking is effective in those cases because I want the child to associate that activity with pain. Lastly, I think there is only a very small age window where spanking is effective. Essentially just for toddlers. Babies are too young to understand actions vs. consequences. And older children should be able to communicate verbally and there should be no need for a spanking.

I was probably spanked 3 times ever in my life. My parents simply taught us right behavior. If we misbehaved, we were told about it. If we continued to misbehave, we were spanked. But like I said, that happened probably 3 times total. A verbal warning was enough for me. Not because I was scared of my parents, just because I wanted to behave well. My husband and his brothers were hit. With belts, with switches, with spoons. He hated it and said it didn't make any difference in their behavior - it just made them angrier and want to act out more. So he refuses to do that. We agree that we'll try lesser forms of discipline - education - before we resort to a light spanking. But it will never be anything more than that. Light, open-handed, on the bum.

Spanking was always the last resort when I was growing up. When everything else wasn't working, like time out, we would get the do you want a spanking threat. And then if we still didn't smarten up they would follow through. I plan on using that technique. I think it was a good system and we rarely got spanked, usually the threat was enough.

I personally don't think we will be spanking our children AT ALL, but I don't think that all spanking is abuse.
A swat with a hand or a little switch on the butt may not be the healthiest for your child's psychological development, but it's not abuse.
If it leaves a mark, you've gone too far. If you draw blood, you probably belong in jail.