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I would try timeouts first. I hear they work great!

There are plenty of ways to mess with your kid's head before resorting to spanking!

Spanking can be effective, it all depends on the way it is carried out. Some parents spank their kids in anger and frustation and hit them too hard. This doesnt teach the kids anything, but if you can keep a level head and talk to them before or whilst they are being spanked without yelling then it will be effective. I was spanked as a child and plan to do to my children when needed

No idea! So far my son hasn't done anything that warrants a spanking, but I will if I feel I need to. It's like pacifiers, it's easy to say that you are dead set against it until something happens and they end up with one in their mouth!

I will NEVER lay my hands on any of my children for any reason. Teaching your children to hit when someone doesn't listen just doesn't sit right with me. Putting your hands on anyone is wrong. I am a full believer that if you spank your children child protective services should get involved.

we will spank, but it will depend on the situation, and having tried other methods first. We were both spanked, him more than me, but we both turned out fine,

Flat of the hand, on the wrist or a clothed butt, never hard enough to leave a mark, never in anger. But yes, I believe in spanking. I was spanked. A sharp tap on the butt was enough to bring me to my senses almost every time, and I never really FEARED my parents, nor did I think that violence was OK. Mind you, I like punishments that fit the crime (don't clean your room? I'm picking everything up and you're not getting it back for a month. Break something via horseplay? No allowance until that thing is paid for.) Spanking is more of a stop-that-right-now thing (like opening packages in the store, or grabbing for mommy's pin-filled sewing project, or reaching for a hot pan.)

@Panda: not trying to debate with you but for me it isn't about causing pain at all, I think it is more of an attention getter. I can guarantee you my child causes herself more pain from falling off of stuff and doing her toddler things than from me spanking her.

We spank & I've used that as our sole source of discipline since DS was aware of simple rules & directions.

Here's our "breakdown" that I posted on another thread:

We spank for direct rebellion... ONLY! Not because we're frustrated or b/c DS is frustrated.. but only for breaking a house rule or deliberately not following instruction. We both do the spanking, but if DH is home then he fulfills the authoritative role as head of the house.
We have 3 house rules and have them posted in every room of the house and on the stairs. Because DS is fully aware of the rules and is constantly reminded of them by the posts, he does not get "warnings". Since your son is younger you would give a reminder of the rule before giving the spanking, until you know he knows the rule & should be able to uphold it... A warning, not 5 warnings (that's a key thing)
Rules:
1. No arguing or talking back -
Because if you argue with me & cannot respect me then you will argue with your teachers or anyone else that may be an authority.
Now DH and I are very much so "explaining" kind of parents so we don't pull the "because I said so"... since we don't pull that and we always give explanation we do not accept arguing a point at all.
2. No throwing fits -
We don't throw fits when we don't get our way and neither will you. It's okay to be upset but there are other ways to express your issue
3. No lying -
We can help you with anything, but if you cannot be trusted then we cannot back you up.
Otherwise there really isn't much else that would/has come up that we've spanked for... I think DS directly going against me asking him to do something a couple of times, but not many.
When we do spank, we always tell him WHY he's getting a spanking and then talk it out after he get's it... I'm am absolutely against isolation so we don't spank & then leave him to "think about it"... rather we talk it out till he calms down, we hug, and we get back to the day.
We'll keep this same thing for our future kids, but will add
"No fighting with your siblings" to the list... because if you can't get along with your siblings you won't get along with your classmates, or later your co-workers
We seriously very rarely have to spank DS though and I don't think I can even remember the last time we did... maybe 4mths ago or so... I've never had problems with him at school and everyone has always raved about his behavior. It works for us and I've seen it work for the girls that come into our "home for women" that have dealt with all kinds of issues with the children.

@Panda: That's why I say it depends on the child, I tried that type of thing at first but she didn't learn because she didn't really care. But it only took one spank in the store for her to not throw fits over not getting what she wanted again.

I was never actually spanked (that I remember) but it was threatened. If I was misbehaving my dad would ask if I need a spanking, I'd say no and then I behaved. Lol. My Dad was a big dude, I didn't want him hitting my butt! If I hadn't stopped right away, I would have gotten a spanking, and I know that cuz my sisters got spanked!

I will try timeouts first, and if that doesn't work I'd consider spanking. Timeouts will not be in their room though, they'll probably be in a corner in the main living space. Depending how bad they act will determine how long they're in timeout.

I am afraid if we used spanking as a means of punishment, I may end up doing it out of anger and I don't want that. If we did move to spanking, we would ONLY do it in private. I cannot stand it when I see people not just spanking but slapping or hitting their children in public. It makes my heart hurt for that child.

I approve of other methods, as well. Like @MrBee - messing with their heads. The worst punishment I ever got was having to sit at the kitchen table (which I now have) on those hard wood chairs for hours until I was ready to apologize or confess. Also, soap in the mouth. Two great solutions that would work for us but may not not work for everyone.

Our house will be a non-spanking household. I come from a strict non-spanking household. Me and my siblings were all known to be well behaved kids, and my adult cousins always call my Mom and ask for parenting advice. I also worked as a therapy aide in a pediatric psych unit, and we did a lot of education on non-corporal discipline for the parents. I don't think spanking is an effective means of punishment, it is just easier for the parents than most other forms of punishment.

I was never spanked as a child, neither was my husband. As of now, we aren't planning on spanking our kids.

We will be a spanking household. We were both raised that way and feel as if it's the way to go. As long as the spanking is done out of love and not anger I think it can be incredibly beneficial. I believe that along with the spanking there needs to be a discussion on the child's level regarding the offense as well as why they are being spanked.

That being said, it is probably not something we will openly discuss with others and we would never do it in public. There is an insane amount of judgement and criticism that comes along with spanking and I'm not willing to go into that discussion with a random stranger at the grocery store. Plus, I don't believe public humiliation is an appropriate form of punishment (involving spanking or otherwise).

My husband and I also believe that if we really focus on the discipline when our kids are younger it is a non-issue when they are school age. That's not say I think kids are perfect at that point but I think there are far less issues as they get older if they are disciplined when they are younger.

I also don't think spanking is the ONLY effective form of discipline. As long as there is a consistent, thought out discipline plan I think many different things can be effective.

We had a cOmbo of both. Time out and spanking and honestly both worked for me and I will do the same. First time outs and if that doesn't work then spanking.

I was beat as a child. It started as a quick pop on the hand or swat on the bum when I was toddler age and as we got older it changed into beatings with a belt. When I look back on my childhood and think about some of the offenses we did to receive those beatings, I really think some other method should have been used--it honestly was normal kid stuff. My mom was a single parent raising 4 of us and these kind of beatings were taught to her and she then inflicted them on us. The beatings didn't happen often, but they happened.

My mom also yelled a lot and we were super afraid of her. I want my kids to respect me, but I don't want them to cower in fear.

I believe that as PP said earlier, I would do it in a situation where my child was about to cause harm to herself (touch the hot iron or oven, run out into the street) but other than that I won't spank my child(ren). I love my mom and I know she thought she was doing the best thing but I don't want to to start off with spankings and have them escalate. I think for me, I don't want to become like her in that aspect and it scares me because it's what I grew up with seeing.

Honestly, when I hear the term "spanking", it sounds rather harmless to me... a swat on the butt, where you have lots of padding ;P

I was slapped on the face a lot as a kid and I HATED it!! Now THAT is something I would never do, or at least hope never to do.

Absolutely not. I was spanked and slapped as a child and I don't believe in it. Punishing a child with violence teaches them that violence is acceptable as a punishment or in anger. Because of this, my sister and I hit each other growing up. Further, it breaks the trust your child has in you, makes your child feel insecure and afraid of you, and it doesn't teach your child respectful ways to handle conflict. It also doesn't teach them to fear realistic consequences or understand their actions, it just teaches them to fear pain. It has been shown to negatively affect self-esteem in children and is an overall confusing and ineffective (in the long term) type of corporal punishment. Many children who were spanked deal with anger issues resulting from feeling powerless against a bigger, stronger, violent person. And the thing is, if your child was being bullied, you'd teach him/ her to stand up to the bully, yet at home against you spanking them, they aren't allowed to defend themselves and must quietly take it. That's a confusing message. Last part of my rant: men who grow up in violent homes as children are 6 times more likely to beat their wives. I believe a home that includes spanking (as well as yelling) is a violent home.

@JustlikeHeaven: Couldn't agree with you more. Our household rules when I was a kid were the exact same and I turned out fine. Never any physical violence problems or do I think violence is ok.

We do spank. Although, we have rules for them. We also have had to deal with a unique situation. In the beginning there were lots of spankings because our house rules are very different than their mothers and they tried to run our household, but now there haven't been any in a couple years.