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No, we're not a spanking family.

I have been a nanny and a teacher for all of my adult life so I have been working with a very wide variety of children and I have yet to come across a kid that I can't find some other way to handle. I feel like my bag of tricks is big enough that I would prefer to handle discipline in a multifaceted approach without corporal punishment.

Yes! But only at a certain age and only by DH & I. No, his grandparents cannot just spank him. But, I believe in spankings with a talk and a discussion first and/or after.
I got spanked twice: once for "running away" and scaring my parents at the age of 9 (I jumped out of my bedroom window at 8pm they thought I was kidnapped)
And once for jumping in a 5ft pool behind my parents backs at the age of 7. I had to be saved by a lifeguard because I couldn't swim.
Both situations were of me causing great danger to myself and those spankings made me NEVER even think about doing it again!

We spank for direct rebellion only. DS is 8 now so here's how it works in our home.

We have 3 house rules that really apply regardless of where we are and are literally posted EVERYWHERE in our house. He is well aware of them and sees/reads them often.

1. No arguing or talking back. We generally talk through and explain everything to DS (I don't really believe in "Because I said so...") We welcome questions if he's not understanding but talking back or trying to argue about it is not acceptable. For now we are the authoritative figures in DS life, if he can't respect us then he will struggle with respecting others & possibly even future bosses. Not okay with us.
2. No throwing fits. It's okay to not be happy or not like how something went but throwing fits is not okay. We don't throw fits so you need to learn better ways to express your discontentment. I personally know adults that DO throw fits and it's not pretty so this is another important one for us.
3. No lying. We can help you no matter what you get yourself into, but if you can't be honest with us then how can we trust you and defend/help you. We don't lie to DS about ANYTHING so we expect the same from him.

In a few years when DD is older we'll add No fighting with your sibling... We are a family and staying unified, without strife is important. Siblings are the hardest people you'll ever meet to get along with. Getting along with and problem solving with your siblings help you for later getting along with and problem solving with your future co-workers & spouse.

They cover pretty much any/every scenario and focus on building their character. If a rule is broken we talk through it with DS, he gets a spanking, we talk it out till he calms down, hug, and go about our day.... I'm also really big at not just leaving him to "think about it" b/c I believe isolation is a breeding ground for resentment and bitterness. Talking it out and not leaving him helps affirm that even in mistakes we still love him and won't desert him.

When he was younger I spanked for things that would cause danger ie. running into the street, touching the stove, etc. More for his physical protection until he could start understanding the importance of character.

It works really well for our home. DS is a GREAT kid, RARELY gets spankings... I think the last one was maybe 6 mths ago, maybe. I actually just asked him and he doesn't even remember when he last got one. lol We plan to keep the same thing as DD grows up and we add more munchkins. =)

ETA: My mom is the only grandparent that's ever spanked DS and it's for the same character protecting reasons.... We used to live with her and he still spends quite a bit of time with her so that close trusting relationship is there.

And we don't spank in public. I'm not out to embarrass my kids. I wouldn't like being on public display so why would I do that to them. When DS was younger if he acted up out of the house he would get a spanking when we got home... I only had to implement that 3 times. =)

My DH and I were never spanked, so I think we will follow that and not spank our children either.

I don't plan on doing it often, but should a situation that I think warrants such action arise, I definitely would.

I grew up in a spanking family and I think we will when necessary (also in private) Spanking only happened when we were old enough to definitely know we were being disobedient and we were always warned multiple times before. This never caused my siblings and I to be aggressive. We never got into physical altercations with other children or each other!

I will say that I will absolutely exhaust all other methods of discipline before getting there and hopefully I won't ever have to.

Nope. Neither of us grew up that way so it really hasn't ever been a question. To me, it doesn't make sense to tell kids they shouldn't use physical means to respond/react/punish and then do it yourself.

With that being said, I don't judge anyone else who does - whatever works for each family. Although it does make me uncomfortable when it is being done in public with an element of "shaming" involved.

I voted yes by DH and I only. I dont think anyone else should raise a hand against my child. I will only do it in certain situations, somtimes a little smack on the wrist works, but I cant control the level of force that other people might use. I dont feel comfortable smacking or spanking other peoples kids so no one should do it to mine

Never. Absolutely never.

@yoursilverlining: That is exactly how I feel. I think of discipline as a teaching moment. Hitting is not a behavior we want our LO to learn.

I grew up in a pro-spanking household; Hubs did not. I remember being paddled (not too hard) only once or twice, probably deserved it more.
We talked about this before we got married and reached the conclusion that only if no other form of discipline is being effective, and only in a very serious situation would spanking be used, and even then it would only be by one of us and only on the bum. It's definitely not a first resort form of discipline or the only form of discipline to use.

No, I don't think so.

DH and I said we wouldn't but there were two times that we did and DS did not respond well to it (became more angry/violent) besides it felt HORRIBLE for us even though we were calm when it happened. He does much better with a time out.

So no, we won't ever be spanking again. And we won't allow anyone else to spank our children.

Yes. I was spanked when I was especially bad (pouring nail polish on my moms carpet, scratching my brothers eyeball, scratching my brothers back, throwing the picture frames) I am not scared of my parents or anything. It worked well for us. I don't think it is for everyone, but I don't think of it as a bad thing.

No, neither my husband nor I believes in using physical violence to discipline. We weren't spanked as children, either.

No. While I was spanked as a child and it wasn't the end of the world, I am hoping other methods will be more effective.

For me, spanking is a swat on the hand when my son is about to touch the hot stove. He's not of the age where he understands going to a time out for something like that and there's no reasoning with him about what "hot" means, so that's how I deal with it for now.

For larger transgressions, there are other methods, yes, but it also depends on the age, maturity and understanding the child has.

There will be no spanking in our house. DH and I weren't spanked, and our kids won't be either.