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In our area most restaurants split the bills for us, if we split appetizers they will split it 5 ways, ect. Otherwise if it comes on one ticket we just all split evenly (and if someone drinks more they throw in more, ect.)
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99% of the time we get separate bills. It's so much easier
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@Kimberlybee: yeahhhh, that's totally awkward. My husband is a "take turns" kind of guy, but he also has a good memory. We went out with another couple (the husband worked with DH) and DH picked up the tab of drinks at the first restaurant, and then the other guy didn't offer to pick up the tab at the next place, so DH paid again. Then at dinner, the other guy asked for separate checks.
Dh refused to ever hang out with him again, and called him a freeloader in conversation ever since. Even at work, all the guys would take turns picking up lunch, but this guy would sneak out on his own and just get food for himself, haha.
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@LuLu Mom: yeah, I think most restaurants are really good at doing separate checks--but still, some places don't and just throw down one bill for the table.
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we almost always just split the check evenly- so much easier and it usually all works out in the end. the only time we don't is if someone doesn't order dinner and everyone else does, or someone drinks a ton and another person isnt.
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@septca: hmm..interesting. I would never include methods of paying for dinner in a list of what it means to be an adult. But that's probably because I have adult friends in extremely varied financial situations (a couple are still students)...and even the lower income friends wouldn't want someone else paying for them out of pride. So separate checks makes sense in those situations.
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When we lived in Chicago the servers would never split the checks - so we either split it up evenly, or we'd say what the even split was and say "If you ordered more, pay a little more, if you ordered less pay a little less" and used the even split number as a kind of target. It usually worked out just fine.... if we were short a bit then we'd tell everyone to pony up a few more bucks.
Here in Indy the servers split the bill no problem and act as if it's expected so we just tell them who is on each bill and they handle splitting it up. It's so much easier here and everyone acts pretty matter-of-fact about doing it so we just split it up like that.
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@Anagram: I guess it's not really a "what it means to be an adult" thing, but more of a, "oh, I guess we are really financially stable now that we don't have don't have to worry about nickel and diming the check" kind of thing, if that makes sense. Getting to that point - out of grad school, good jobs - was actually a hugely celebrated milestone for us.
And it's really not the norm where I live to get separate checks... some menus even say they won't do it and servers act extremely annoyed if you ask.
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I think the separate checks thing must be a regional thing. Places in NYC hateeee doing it!
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This is a hugely regional thing. In the midwest and other parts of the country, waiters routinely split checks which would NEVER happen in my area of the northeast. In my area/social circle, just paying what you had instead of splitting the bill evenly is an etiquette no-no.
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@hotchildinthecity: this! I have never had a waiter volunteer to do separate checks.
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@PermaStudent: a lot of place won't separate checks it since we have 7-8 people.
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We always split evenly. We are usually out with other couples and very rarely do I go out with just women. I would feel badly if someone wasn't drinking or eating much. But most of the couples we go out with are on par with us as far as food/drinks ordered.
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I tend to order things based on price to save money as well as what I drink. I almost never drink at restaurants because of price so it would annoy me if I had to split the tab with friends who did drink and had bigger tabs.
We always ask for separate checks or split it according to who ordered what
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People pay what for they had, unless it's really close and we can just split it. I think it's rude to expect to split the bill if you ordered a lot more expensive stuff. There was a certain group we'd go out with when we lived in NYC who always wanted to split the bill, and they also always ordered appetizers, expensive entrees, multiple drinks... It was SO annoying. Like they'd try to split the bill and what they wanted me to pay was literally $40 more than I actually consumed. Um, no. Not happening.
ETA: I'm also a little bothered by the suggestion that splitting the bill is part of being an adult. Not all "adults" make the kind of money that means they can afford an extra forty or fifty bucks at dinner. That was a big thing that bothered me about this group. They'd make a big stink about me wanting to pay my (much cheaper by design) share. Which was easy for them to do when they all made $70K plus MORE than me
personally I think part of what it means to be a good friend is to know not everyone makes the same amount of money as you.
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@Smurfette: we've never had a problem, even with a big group! If it was an issue though, we would just split it evenly or make a general estimation to make things easier.
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@PermaStudent: a lot of restaurants say on the menu, no split checks for over 6 people. I personally would rather just split it evenly all times even if others are drinking and I am not. Not worth it in the long run.
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With my BFF- we usually just take turns getting the check- or split it.
With a close group of friends- we figure out what we each had and add pay that adding our tip accordingly.
With a big group- or another couple- we just split the bill in half.
Once in college I went out with my mom, her BFF and one of my friends. My moms friend was drinking martinis and I think me friend and I each had 1 drink- when it came time to pay the bill it was like $60 a person because my moms friend had like 5 $15.00 martinis! Oye- I was not happy and had to run to the ATM to get more cash to pay the bill! Embarrassing!!!
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One bill split evenly.
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Usually we add up. The times if we do just split is if it's literally the same prices for everyone (buffet for example), or other family style eating options.
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@hilsy85: @hotchildinthecity: Same! I live in Baltimore, not NYC, but servers rarely offer to split checks. The only time I've ever seen it done is at chain restaurants.
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It just really depends on the crowd. Certain friends, we just take turns with the whole bill. Other friends, we ask for separate bills. We, occasionally, split the bill by what we consumed.
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We split the check evenly or take turns picking up the entire tab. Of course, if someone only dropped by for a drink and everyone else had dinner, that person would just throw in money for their share and everyone else would split the rest. I think separate checks is definitely regional. I've never seen it in NY and only at chain restaurants in MA, but when I visit family in the south, servers always ask.
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We just split evenly. Usually someone who drinks/eats a little more expensively always jumps in and says "I'll leave the tip". Never had a problem!
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I find this fascinating that it's a regional thing. Now when traveling and with other people I'll probably pay really close attention to whether or not the server asks. If they just plop a bill down for the group, I'll assume even split.
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I have never had a problem just having separate checks at a restaurant. I used to be a server and most casual dining restaurants, and even some nicer ones, should be keying everything in under separate seats. It's really easy to just print out different checks. That being said I will order apps or something for people and add it to my own or treat when a friend is from out of town, but generally we pay for what we order. No weird feelings after!
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Separate checks if the server offers. If not then down the middle.
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I don't see what's wrong with splitting the cheque evenly - i think things always even out in the end.
Back in university, we'd split the food and alcohol bill separately. Whoever didn't drink (or barely drank) wouldn't have to be part of the alcohol bill. Nowadays, it's always separate cheques. I think it's weird when there's only a difference of $1-2 between two people and the other only puts in what she paid for. And i say "she" because i feel like it's a more common thing amongst women.
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It all depends who I am with, one particular friend and I take turns paying, another we would split evenly and there's always the one who tries to under pay so when we are out with her/them we just pay for what we had. If it's just a couple of dollars I am happy to spilt evenly but if it's over a $10 difference than I would prefer to pay for what I had.
We went on holiday with this particular couple and they never had enough cash for their share/tip. So we started asking for separate cheques and suddenly they were leaving quite generous tips.
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It depends. I much prefer splitting evenly, and then if it's really uneven having the person who owes more pay the tip. But that's easier if dh and I are out with a couple or I'm out w a friend-- if dh and I are out w friends who aren't together it gets awkward since we pay together-- like "oh, half on this credit card and then split the rest 3 ways"-- complicated! Sometimes then we write the last name and amount on the back of the check if everyone is paying w credit cards
The most recent annoying situation was at this bachelorette party last winter-- the moh was a math phd and had figured out the bill and how much everyone should pay to cover the bride, and it was complicated bc I was pregnant and she very sweetly calculated it so that I paid less since I obviously wasn't drinking. Then this one bratty girl tried to pay less bc she only had one drink--when most the other girls had only had one too but the bride had like 3 so everyone had to pitch in more. She just made it soooo much more complicated! Then everyone else starts pitching more in to cover her stubbornness and the bride feels awkward and tried to pay.... Annoying!
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With most friends I just ask for the waiter to split the check when we order. But I have a few friends that we just take turns paying.
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I would rather get separate checks when with a huge group. If it's just a couple, split it. I hate when you're in a larger group and it's all on one check, people pay for their meal...but seem to 'forget' about tax and tip. Then the last couple people seem to pay more to get it up to where it needs to be(had happened a couple times when DH and I have gone out with a larger group..and somehow we always end up at the end)
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We either split it evenly unless someone grossly had more than everyone else (aka no one drank but them than we might say oh you owe like 10 dollars more or something). For siblings and very close friends - we do a check rotation... aka we pay this one you can get the next one sort of thing.
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Oo this is an interesting topic. Since I actually work at a restaurant I'll give my opinion based on that. I always either bring cash and ask others to do the same so we don't have to give the server an annoying pile of credit cards or offer to pay for the whole check on my card and get cash from the other people. I firmly believe that if you're going out with friends you should always carry cash. It just makes things so much more simple. I cringe when I am serving a table with a large group and they hand me a list of credit card numbers and different amounts to be charged on each one. Don't get me wrong, most servers don't mind doing extra things like this, but people almost never tip accordingly. More often than not, the credit card receipts get mixed up and left at random places on the dirty table and I lose out on a fair amount of my tips because the customers either lose them or forget to sign all together. It's MUCH easier for everyone to do one or two cards, or bring cash.
One time I was serving a table of 20 or so on a really busy Saturday night and I think I ended up with 12 different cards all with different amounts and items on it. I ended up getting way behind with my other tables because I spent so much time dealing with this one party. I wish people would think ahead and avoid this situation, especially if you know you're going out with a bunch of people.
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Generally just split it by the number of people eating/drinking. My theory is that, if it's a group of people who go out often, it will all even out over time if, one time, you spend a bit more than your "share."
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I've done all methods. If everyone orders about the same amount and share appetizers, we just split the bill evenly. Otherwise just get separate checks. We've tried the add up what you ordered and pay that method, though this rare and for some reason has always come out short.
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Honestly, because most places around here will not separate checks more than in half, it drives me a bit nuts when people itemize. It was one thing when we were 21 and kids, but as adults, you know what you're getting into when you're out with a group. We often make up big disparities (non drinkers, more expensive meals) via tip.
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Split evenly every time. I agree that it might be regional. In NYC I've never seen separate checks.
Now that I'm pregnant I have some friends who refuse to let me pay what they pay because they'll get a couple bottles of wine. But I honestly don't mind! I think it all evens out in the end. They still don't let me pay tip in that situation. -
If my friends had more expensive items, I split evenly. If mine was more expensive, I split accurately.
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I pay for what I eat/drink. I budget accordingly and still want to hang out with friends but I'm not gonna put in for your $30 Mac and cheese. I always round up and throw in a couple of extra bucks but there's usually a huge difference in costs with my friends. I know I have a friend that thinks I'm a cheapskate but I try not to let it bug me. I think bachelorette/birthday dinners are a different story though and there are some friends that don't order outlandishly so splitting per person makes sense for everyone. It's not a given in my circle of friends so I would hate to make anyone feel uncomfortable (as I can often feel) by suggesting it.
personally I think part of what it means to be a good friend is to know not everyone makes the same amount of money as you.
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