My LO is 10 days old. She's had sleep issues from the beginning, but the last 2 nights has done really well. Last night was great for her. Today though, she doesn't want to be anywhere other than in my arms. I get her to fall asleep, set her down, and AWAKE.
I was on the phone with my mom and told her about this because she heard LO fussing in the background. Her reply was "you've got her spoiled already." When we were still in the hospital, she and my MIL starting talking about the many ways to spoil a newborn/baby.
I just want to yell and tell her "you can't spoil a newborn!"
Sorry, hormonal vent over.
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I've had several of the same comments. I still get these comments and LO is 4 months old. I don't even think what I do is spoiling her. Just because I don't let her scream her head off, and give her what she wants when I know she needs it, I get crap. So, I feel you!!
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She obviously has some sort of issue going on and needs the extra love. Poor baby.
Good luck, mama!That being said... you can't necessarily spoil a newborn but you can form bad habits BUT that doesn't really start until later on, not 10 days old!
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Sorry
But you really can't spoil them. Until about 5 or 6 months, they're really not aware of much and still need you for everything. You're doing a great job. Snuggle with your baby and just nod and smile when people tell you otherwise.
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Oh gosh. Your baby is barely capable of functioning outside of the womb yet at 10 days old. No way can you spoil that baby. Don't listen to them.
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She's had a stuffy nose all day, so I'm betting it has something to do with that. It's too early for her to have bad habits and be spoiled, why don't our parents get that?
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@MaisyMay: I think its a generational thing. Our parents generation were discouraged from being "attached" parents. They had much difference philosophies on child-rearing.
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@MaisyMay: I think they might also forget what it was like to have a 10 day old baby.
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i agree with above, she's way too young for you to spoil, she's just adjusting to outside world. Bad habits can be formed, but no one wants to listen to a baby cry! My daughter is 3 months and can start seeing her break bad habits, we put her in rock n play and she fuses, we rock it until she goes back to sleep instead of picking her up, that came with time.
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Uh why do parents feel the need to make comments like this. Don't worry about it and do what works for you!
That beig said I'm not so sure that I believe you can't spoil a newborn. My parents and aunt were her for Christmas and LO was only 4 weeks old. While they were here someone was constantly holding her. And for the first few days after they left it was a battle to get her back to a point where I could put her down at all. So I think they do get used to it. I make it a point to be sure LO has time every day where she is put down while awake and while asleep. But thats for my own convenience. If you are happy to hold the baby all day then why should anyone else care about that?!
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@MamaMoose: It's not that I want to hold her, but she's been really fussy, and I think it's because her nose is stuffed up. When DH gets home, I'll have him help me use the aspirator on her.
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@MaisyMay: Do you have a NoseFrida? They work SO much better than the bulb aspirators. Use a little saline and the NoseFrida.
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@zippylef: We bought one a few days ago, but it's hard to use alone! LO fights it, so DH helps hold her still while I use it.
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@MaisyMay: yeah I'm with you I can't leave little one to cry and fuss either. Does she sleep with a humidifier? We used one for the first time last night and I swear it loosened her up so much, I got tons of snots out of her with the aspirator today!
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@MamaMoose: I had DH told her in the bathroom while I took a hot shower last night and that seemed to help. We have the humidifier, but haven't used it yet. I guess we'll pull it out tonight.
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@MaisyMay: good luck! I hope it works for you and LO feels better!
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Your baby is 10 days old....she can't have sleep issues!
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Follow your gut mama, you are so right. Love and snuggle her as much as you can!!!
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*rolls eyes* You can't spoil a newborn. It's called good parenting.
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Oh my gawd. Just ignore her. You're doing great! Enjoy the snuggle time...she doesn't want to snuggle anymore.
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I, too, hate the comment of "she's spoiled"
When I was breastfeeding my daughter, my mother in law used to always comment - she's so spoiled! How does breastfeeding=spoiled? It took everything I had to bite my tongue and ignore her.
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@Rainbow Sprinkles: Yeah, I was wondering what kind of sleep issues a newborn could have. They do all eventually sleep at some point, which is about all you can expect from a newborn.
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@MaisyMay: Just like pps have already said, you can't spoil a newborn! What you can do is create a relationship where your LO knows that when she needs you, you are there. And that is exactly what you are doing. Keep up the good work!
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@MaisyMay: I dealt with the same thing from my mom and mil and it really frustrated me, then I read a few books on the subject and realized its 100% NORMAL for newborns to want to be held all the time.
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Urgh! It's annoying that people feel the need to comment at all. Blah blah blah - yes, we all know our mums know best, they've done if before, yadda yadda. Did you ask for advice? No!
What you needed was a bit of sympathy and assurance that you're doing a great job. So here it is - you're doing an amazing job mamma! You've only had her home for little over a week and here you are, knowing what she needs and meeting those needs!! It must be so draining for you when she's very clingy like this so big hugs for you. Keep up the good work!
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@MaisyMay: hug that baby as close as you want these first few months. They don't have the brain function yet to help them soothe themselves. People told me I was spoiling M, as well because I used to rock her to sleep. Now she goes to sleep after we put her down awake in her crib with no crying. Those first three months are so precious, I would have held her every minute if I could have!!
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Ugh you can't spoil a newborn. They have needs, even if it's just wanting to be held. Even adults just need hugs sometimes.
How long do you hold her before she falls asleep? I just read a book on baby sleep and it advised 20 whole minutes! Said to look for slack arms and unclenched fists; otherwise, they know when you set them down that they aren't in your arms anymore and they jerk themselves awake!
ETA: the book also addressed how to work on other ways to put your baby to sleep. It's called The Baby Sleep book and it's by Dr Sears. It specifically addressed babies that will only nurse to sleep! i keep pretty diligent notes
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@blackbird: good to know!
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I got the same comments from my mom when my son was 2 weeks old. Dumb!!
She still says he is "a little spoiled" at 7 months old. Um, I'm not really sure how? He's in daycare with 6 other babies 3 days a week. He's currently an only child...are we supposed to ignore him?
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Annoying! My mom did that all the time as well. Sometimes I wish I would have listened bc we def formed some bad habits. But no way the new mom in me would have let her cry! Oh well, I made my bed and now I'm lying in it!
@zippylef: ditto on the bad habits. M only nurses to sleep for bedtimes and naps. Yay me.
Good luck, mama!
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