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This is totally what I had the hardest time with when I had my first child. I remember crying to my husband "He just NEEDS me so much and I'm never going to have free time ever again!" And this past weekend was a long weekend and while we had a good time, going to two birthday parties, the Science Centre, the park, out for brunch, etc. I couldn't help thinking about long weekends pre-kids - staying up late (not an option any more, kids are up by 6 every day!), lying on the couch watching tv for hours, etc. I wouldn't go back but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it.

@kiddosc: I miss doing nothing, too! And honestly, now that I have 2 kids, even when I TRY to "do nothing" it's impossible. When I was really sick the week before last, and ended up getting up at like, 2 in the morning to write sub plans and put my absence in the sub system, I told my husband DO NOT WAKE ME tomorrow. I'm sick, I just need sleep.

Well, come 6:15 am and both kids are running into the room, flipping on the lights, jumping on me in the bed. DH was "indisposed" on the toilet which is how they got into my room. So then he finally gets them out and I go back to bed.....but then he wakes me up to ask where some school item was that LO1 needed (spoiler alert: it was where it always is). I finally fell back asleep and actually *slept* finally.

When I woke up, I knew I should just rest in bed and try to feel better.....but instead, I realized we were out of several items we needed, so I dragged myself up and visited 2 different supermarkets, then came home and started dinner early--since I was sick, the only luxury I could give myself was extra time to make dinner, since I was moving so slowly.

I mean, that's pathetic, right? I used to be able to lie in bed for entire weekends at a time! and now it's just impossible.

I could write a book about all the things I could do pre-kids that now there just isn't time/money for. It's hard.

Ugh. I feel you!

After having 2 kids, I've realized that this kind of doing nothing, while hard, was something I personally NEEDED to force myself to do because it was really important to my mental health. And even my physical health, really, because all this go go go was just too much for me to cope with all the time. Its like when I was in college or law school - before finals I'd push myself to the max but then afterwards when I was finally on break, I'd usually get sick because all the tension and pent-up exhaustion would come out. I had PPA/PPD with both boys and do not deal with prolonged sleep deprivation well, so I already knew that getting enough "doing nothing" time was important to my health.

We had a pretty crazy 2 weeks before Mother's Day - my kids were really sick, we had LOTS of doctor appointments, I had jury duty, I went back to work after maternity leave, and my brother was getting married so we had to take a long roadtrip and go out of town for several days. We got back late on Mother's Day, I had to stay up late getting every ready for school and work the next day, plus the following day was DS2's 1st birthday and he needed to bring in a treat for his class...Basically, it was a mess and I was delirious and shaking with exhaustion.

I told my husband for Mother's Day I was going to take the following Thursday off. I did get up briefly that morning to get the kid's going to school because that would get them out of my hair faster, but then I went to breakfast, ate a leisurely omelette, and then went back to bed until noon. But even then I laid in my bed for 2 hours playing with my phone, showered at 2pm, and ate a late lunch at like 3pm. I grabbed some soup I had pre-made for this day to reheat in the Instant Pot for dinner and went back to sleep until DH went to get the kids from daycare at 430pm.

It did cross my mind to do laundry or clean the house or go grocery shopping, but I really had to tell myself that if I didn't let myself completely veg and rest, I was going to make myself sick and depressed. So I literally had to talk myself out of doing anything productive. Everyone had soup for dinner, then DH handled bath and bedtime for the boys. I went back to bed and binge watched A Handmaid's Tale until close to midnight when I crashed out again.

Granted, our boys are really young still, but after my experiences with PPA/PPD and the exhaustion of a baby's first year, even my husband is super mindful of my personal need for rest - both mental and physical. We have no family around and we don't really trust babysitters, so all of our childcare is on us or daycare. I am the family logistics person, cruise director, and air traffic controller. Even when I'm laying on the couch, the number of details and things running through my mind are endless. If DH and I don't prioritize some time for me to literally let my mind go numb, I will snap.

So yes, I miss all the pre-children freedoms I had, but I've realized I can't just shrug and say that season of my life is gone and forego that down time because if I don't FORCE myself to do nothing every once in a while, I just won't be able to function.

No advice, some weeks are like that around here too. Just sending hugs and I hope now that your washing machine issue is fixed things will be easier!

I just read an article that while these days (weeks, months, years) are hard, you will really miss them when they are gone. Kind of like how you are missing your kid-free days now. I do understand the feeling and was feeling kind of in a rut coming off a crazy non-stop 2 week stretch too but I try to keep the thought running through my head that these are the best years and they are so short and I need to enjoy the moment.

Yow, your description of your week made me exhausted for you! I've found the best thing lately is having LO go for sleepovers at her grandparents. I started them so that she'd be ok going when I have to go to the hospital for the new baby. We do once a month and I find that often enough that there is enforced vegging out time. It's really made a huge difference. And LO loves it cause she gets spoiled rotten. Win win!

Oh man, I was feeling exactly this way so badly. In trying to combat it I recently realized something that helped me so I thought I'd share even though this post isn't really looking for solutions.

I'm an older mom, and a lot of my friends/family had kids very young so they're now in their teens or even early 20's. I realized a few months ago that my friends with older kids are now enjoying the kind of freedom I have recently been missing so badly! It really helped me recognize that this season is not forever, and that there's a time and a place for everything. As I recently put it to one of my friends whose son was just accepted to college, "I have the rest of my life to go out for drinks with you, but tonight I have to put my daughter to bed." And, she totally understood and validated remembering feeling that the kid stage would never end but now it has for her.

I don't know if this helps anyone else, but there does seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel - at least a lot of my friends have found it so I'm holding out hope for myself!

I feel a little wistful sometimes for my single days when I could spend an entire weekend on the couch, binge watching netflix all day.

I have to remind myself that while a day of binge watching anything I want sounds heavenly, the reality is that I don't actually want to go back to my single days. I was pretty lonely then, and I had a crappy relationship before that where I was on my own a lot.

@kiddosc: From listening to your schedule, you might need to say no more often. Or do less activities.

@kiddosc: Well, I was just noticing you have a lot of soccer related stuff and birthday parties and the art show, etc. It's a lot of stuff to be committing to.

Last night the plan had been to finish painting the bonus room since my parents are coming into town for LOs Pre-K graduation. But the power went out so oops, we fell asleep at 8:30 and as soon as the power came on we went back to bed. It is sad that it takes a power outage to get in bed early. I am a part time night school teacher and a few times this semester I got these terrible headaches that completely knocked me out. I got home from work around 9.:00 and went straight to bed, couldn't even eat. I think it was my body's way of telling me to slow down. I must say, to get the time you need to thrive you will probably have a say NO in ways that disappoint yourself and others. It is so so easy to get into the habit of trying to be everything to everyone. When you stop being that person people are shocked and you may even feel guilty. I didn't do a party for my two year old this year and didn't do one for my 4 year old, we don't yet do sports. We really don't see extended family enough. But cutting out that stuff does give us a little breathing room.