I saw this article the other day and it just really spoke to how I've been feeling lately. I love my kids and I'm pretty confident in my mama abilities, but I'm struggling with the loss of independence that comes with being a mom. That there's always somewhere to go, something to do, someone to care for, I'm just worn out. Even when we go out without the kids, I feel guilty for not spending more time with them, or about staying out too late and burdening our care givers. It's not about being able to go out and party, it's more not being able to spend the day on the couch netflixing if I want, or the ability to spontaneously go somewhere, or being ok with there only being cereal for dinner, or really just the opportunity to not be responsible for someone else. I know they won't always take up as much of my time, but this article just really spoke to me at this stage in my life so I thought I'd share.


This is our schedule the last week. Tonight is “art in the park” night, where there will be pizza and some of our 4 year old’s art from school will be displayed. We’re also having a washing machine delivered because ours has been broken for over a week now. Last night I had to go grocery shopping after putting the baby to bed. She still nurses to sleep, so I couldn’t leave earlier. Sunday night I had to go to my parent’s house to do some laundry, see broken washing machine above. That was after a crazy day of 5 year old birthday party (so fun, but so exhausting). Saturday, I attended a baby shower two hours from home, my husband fielded two soccer games and a birthday party for our son, and then I spent the night assembling the cake for the birthday party and finishing putting the goodie bags together. Friday night we rushed home from work to give our son his birthday present and do a birthday cupcake before making an appearance at a friend’s birthday party. Thursday night I baked the cakes for the birthday party and began goodie bag assembly. Wednesday Night was soccer practice. Tuesday we went shopping for a new washing machine, which involved going to two different Lowe’s, picking up drive-thru dinner and getting the kids in bed over an hour late. Monday we had family in from out of town and had a cook-out at our house. Sunday night, Mother’s Day, I had to go grocery shopping after the baby went to bed to get items for the cookout on Monday. That’s on top of usual morning rush, working full time, squeezing in some quality family time each evening, making dinner, bathing and bedding kids.

This is probably more of a vent than anything and probably fueled by an abnormally busy few weeks, but I think that it's really hard to grasp how much your life will change before you have kids, even just the mundane day to day... I miss doing nothing