I am having a rough day and wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way...

LO is 13.5 months old and I went back to work when he was 3 months old. While I was not quite ready to return, I really felt that getting back to work helped me to get back on a true schedule postpartum. While I always miss my son while at work, it provides me with a level of consistency that I don't know if I would have found as a SAHM. I love our weekends together as a family, but to be honest, I am often exhausted by the time Sunday night rolls around (extra kudos to the mamas who SAH- you're heroes in my book!). Of course I daydream about being with him while at work, so it seems as if the grass is always greener on the other side!

Fast forward to now. While I don't regret my decision to return to work or to send LO to his caregiver (whom he adores!), I am starting to (probably unfairly) chastise myself for the amount of time I am away from him. The early months have become so hazy that I find myself forgetting many of the details of when he was little and kick myself for letting these precious times pass me by while I was at work/focusing on work. Occasionally, when I see my friends who are new mamas or other new mommies out and about, I question whether or not I was as "present" as they seem to be. I know it's easy to judge based on what appears on the surface, but I can't help but feel like I missed out on something everyone else had, even those mamas who WOHM.

I know I am probably being hard on myself but I just can't seem to let go of this feeling.