Hellobee Boards

I totally don't argue. It is SO pointless as they don't get it at all. I don't waste my time. They'll know how complicated things can get one day ....

To the main point about arguing with childless friends. I am generally vague and usually utter something along the lines of everyone having to work out their own way of doing things, no right way, things get complicated. yada yada.

@artbee: I think you hit the nail on the head. Clearly I am a bad mother as I would get sick of always doing an early dinner and want to sometimes put my needs first!

@cupcakemama: lol. Not a bad mother at all--just different priorities!

yeah there's definitely no point. they really just don't understand because they haven't been there yet. they are entitled to their opinions, yes, but usually it's best to just leave it at that.

I sometimes feel this way about other parents too though. parents who have younger kids or less number of kids than me also can't FULLY understand why I do certain things the way I do with my kids. When in comes to parenting, whatever works for one family is their own business anyway... That's fine that another person would rather it be done a different way, but it shouldn't go so far as to bother someone else to hear about it. If it does, that's the disagreeing party's issue.

In this case, sounds like the bride is probably hurt a little on some level that her friend isn't attending her wedding. It's actually somewhat understandably upsetting... In this situation, I would just sympathize with the bride, listen, and try to keep my mouth shut

I'm not even pregnant yet and I already know that having kids is totally different and I really don't know what I'm talking about. Which is why I don't try to say anything about parenting. I know if you would have asked me back in college or high school, I would have annoyed some of you. I hoping we were all immature and naive as high school and college students.

Please don't tell her "just wait till you're a parent." It may be true ... and it may not- she may become a parent and have a totally different parenting style and a kid with totally different needs, and while some of her ideas and plans will probably change, this one might not. (I'm a parent, and I can't imagine myself missing a friend's wedding so I could be home for bedtime)
But telling her that she just can't understand because she's not a parent is like telling a teenager "you'll understand when you're older." It's condescending, and there's nothing she can do with that statement- it's not helpful, it's not informative... and it may just tick her off.
The bride shouldn't get to be mean or judge-y about this mom's choice, but I think it's fair for her to be sad. The easiest thing might be to not go into the back-and-forth of whether a decision that isn't up to either of you is right, and just say "Yeah, it sucks that she can't be there, and I know she's sad to be missing the event."