I work in a middle school in a wealthy school district. Parents in my school are really high needs and demanding. We live in the district and the kids in my neighborhood go to my school. I thought this would be awesome at first--easy commute for me! Now I feel myself avoiding relationships with neighbors, dreading going to the pool when LO is older and running into students, etc. I guess I'm having trouble seeing myself transitioning from being a teacher to a parent in the district. Does anyone have experience or advice for dealing with this? Is it worth moving to a different neighborhood where I wouldn't have a dual relationship with neighbors, or am I just being neurotic?
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in not s teacher but in a similar situation, and have always chosen to live in a different city than my work. Just a personal preference.
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I live in my district so I see tons of students all the time, but I don't live in the neighborhood my school is zoned to. So I don't usually see them at places like the pool, but see them when they're older and working. I personally wouldn't want to live the same place where I teach.
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I think you can work through it if you stay. I live in the town 'next door' to where I teach so I don't have the same problem though I do run into my students at least twice a month. I think people accept teachers have lives of their own. Although the focus is slightly on you in a public setting, I think you will be ok to live your daily life and make friends. Not everyone has kids that are school age. My partner teacher lives in the town where we teach and she selectively builds relationships with the 'good' (supportive) parents and works to be a voice for the community at our school. I would stay.
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I don't think there's a simple answer. I teach hs and don't have to worry about what I'm wearing every time I step out of the house. It's much easier not living in the same community. But it does also give you some add'l credibility with parents when you know the community and it's definitely convenient! How long has it been? Do you think you'll get more used to it?
Growing up my mom taught at an elementary school in our community s d we would see her students current and former all the time, but I never remember an issue.
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@babybean404: I think it depends so much on your personality. My mom was a teacher in my school growing up and it was a small community, so half the kids in our church were in her class, and we would see people on every outing that new my mom as a teacher. She has moved quite a bit and always taught in the same community she lived--but my mom is super super chatty and LOVES seeing students and their parents.
I am NOT super chatty in that way and do not want to go have a glass of wine with a friend and see some parents at the next table, you know? I definitely don't want my students knowing my home address.
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i teach in the district where I live. there's only one anglophone district so there's not really an option, everyone does). I've had zero issues with it, but I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone anyway. I see my students pretty often out and about, I teach my friend's kids, and my own children will go to the school I teach at. I kind of like the small community vibe
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I think it totally depends! I still live in the community where I taught, and most of the time I really love it! The families of my students are great, and I love that I still see them out and about. But what you are describing is different. It sounds like you have a lot more drama than I dealt with, and in that case I can definitely see not wanting to deal with it or put your family through having to have a parent conference every time you go to the grocery store. I would probably move.
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I personally enjoy having the privacy that comes with not living in the district where I work. I still run into students at restaurants and out and about, but it isn't a guarantee.
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I've done both and I very much enjoyed living in the area where I taught. It made me feel more connected to my students and the community. I liked seeing students and having friendships with parents outside of school. But it was pretty low-drama so maybe that's why? Also, that was a smaller town (only one district), which maybe affected my feelings since everyone was already feeling a "close knit" vibe.
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I live in the district I teach in but not in the neighborhood zoned to my school, so it is t much of an issue although I frequently see kids out at dinner etc. I think it can be awkward living in the same area at times but I wouldn't move over it.
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I voted to stay but for me it would be a complicated decision. At the end of the day, I wouldn't move house to get away from it, but I would consider the following:
- I like that I work away from my school district so I don't have to see my students, let alone the parents. I want to be able to go to the store in my sweatpants! I would also feel a responsibility towards my students in public when I'm not working.
- It's so convenient to have a short commute and such a pain to move.
- If you can stand it, embracing the local district and forming closer relationships with the school families might be really lovely. I would really enjoy that aspect of living in my district.
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11 comments