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I had a high needs baby who nursed 24/7 and screamed if you weren't holding her, but I just put her in a carrier and she nursed in there and we co-slept and she nursed all night. I would put it at a 1-2 for stress but that said - I like being needed, I had an easy recovery, no problems whatsoever with breastfeeding, I had euphoric type hormones postpartum, and I had confidence that I had the right sort of personality and skills to be the mother I wanted. With LO #2, I would say that I was more stressed - maybe a 6, but that was because of LO#1 and a really tough recovery. If LO#2 was first, my stress level would probably be in the negatives because she is the easiest, most agreeable, most perfect, smiley, sleeps through the night at 11 weeks type baby that anyone could ask for.

as a newborn: 1-3. we had a pretty easy transition, easy time BFing (except for the typical 6-8 week transition where you're figuring out how the heck to do it!), and she slept in nice chunks, so i got more sleep than i was getting at the end of pregnancy with waking up hourly to pee or turn sides to help my circulation. for me, the harder part came in as i recognized my new normal as a mother and how to handle that and not lose myself.

10. The only thing that wasn't hard for me was breastfeeding. Among our issues:
- Colic/MSPI/high needs - cried hours/day
- Didn't sleep well - got our first 5-hour stretch at 6 weeks old, was still waking up 2x/night when I went back to work at 4 months, didn't STTN until 10 months (I worked this whole time so it was hell)
- Severe PPD
- No family or support network around
- DH and I fell apart and fought for almost a year
- Due to many of the above, I didn't bond w baby until WELL after 6 months - so none of this felt worth it and everything seemed like one massive mistake.

Nothing could have prepared me for it. But all babies (and all moms) don't always have such a hard time. Although don't be stubborn like me if you suspect you have PPD - get treated immediately.

And I'm 5 weeks pregnant with #2 so that should say something It WILL get better.

Compared to some other people's experiences, I'm sure it wasn't that bad, but the first six weeks felt like a 7 or an 8. I had a week or two of baby blues, my son woke up every two hours and screamed for three or four hours every night. I was having a lot of trouble breastfeeding and every feeding felt like a battle - he'd be hungry and frustrated, I'd feel like a failure, and supplementing with formula was confusing and disappointing. There was a week when he would only sleep if he was being held and rocked in a rocking chair. I remember the sleep deprivation felt like torture - just as I'd drift off, the baby would start screaming to be fed again - and I cried a lot. One night, I sobbed to my husband that I was worried that God would make something bad happen to my son to punish me for not enjoying him enough. I had so much anxiety about SIDS, about accidentally dropping him, about him getting sick or kidnapped or whatever other awful things my brain could come up with.

Things started getting better around five or six weeks, when I went to a local mommy group and started making friends who were all around the same stage, and even better at eight weeks when I switched to all formula. My son stopped the witching hour screaming around then, I became a lot more confident about my choice to stop trying to breastfeed and I had made some friends and was getting out of the house and socializing on a regular basis. Now, he's a few days shy of four months and the last two months have been an absolute delight. He's such a different baby now - he smiles and giggles and plays with toys and lights up when he sees me or his dad, and it's so awesome. Our rough start seems so far away now, even though it was only a few weeks ago. When you're in the shit with a newborn, it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, though. But hang in there - for most moms I know, the really rough parts were over by three months.

Good question! It is interesting to read how varied the experiences are for everyone.

I'm only 7wks in, but so far probably a 4. She is a pretty good, happy, smiling baby much of the time, but she does have some latch(?) issues that make nursing challenging some of the time--she'll get really agitated & cry & not stay latched for only some of our nursing sessions & gets so congested she can't breathe well, so gets even more upset. It is sad to see her get so upset while trying to nurse & also makes me feel helpless to fix it since most other times she is just fine nursing. She's gaining weight well, though, so she must be eating well enough overall. She also is dealing with some reflux, congestion & skin rash, so as a ftm I am trying to balance being laid back about things & getting Dr's advice on each issue. She will sleep 4h the first stretch at night, but we need to work on lengthening the stretch from ~4am on. I'm one who used to get super grumpy if I didn't get a good night's sleep, so while I think I'm surviving sleep deprivation amazingly well, I'm also so very ready to get more sleep. And a massage... My neck is a mess b/c I keep falling asleep in our glider & my neck gets kinked in a few different positions. I also have a bruised tailbone that is still quite uncomfortable, so all the time spent sitting to nurse is not helping. But overall I am LOVING being a mama to this sweet angel.

@JoJoGirl: Thanks, hugs to you too and congrats!

I love that almost all these responses depend entirely on whether on not the baby is a good sleeper or not. Mine woke up 4-6 times a night until she was 1 year old. We had many LONG stretches where she would wake up almost every hour on the hour after midnight. I went back to work when she was 5 months old and had to be out of the house every morning by 6:40 am.

I find it hard to believe that *anyone* could do that for a year with 4-6 hours of very fragmented sleep and still say babies are easy, but I'm sure I would have found it so much easier if I were getting more sleep!

Now she's 2 and was up 4 times last night, but at least now she STTN *sometimes* and her wakeups don't involve diaper changes and feedings anymore! Much more doable now.

If I had to rate it, I would probably say a solid 8, although it was definitely of combo of newborn issues and me being completely shocked at how life changing having a baby is. Yes, she had her own issues (reflux, MSPI, NEVER sleeping longer than 2-3 hours at time--there was a solid 1.5 months where she was up every 45 min-1.5 hours, hours of crying from gas pains before the MSPI diagnosis) and then of course just typical newborn stuff. I don't think you really understand how hard it is until you go through it. Like people told me it would be hard, but I was like ah, it will all work out, can't be that hard! I was not prepared for the sleep deprivation, never having any alone time to myself, I was lonely during the day, anxious because I felt like I didn't know what the hell I was doing, and was worried that I was a horrible mother. The only thing that came easy was breastfeeding and for that I am so grateful! I made it much harder on myself than need be, because I was constantly worrying. If I have another, I already promised myself I will be more in the moment and not worry that my baby isn't sleeping/eating/doing whatever I read on the internet.

@Anagram: Yes. Isn't sleep deprivation a torture technique? Haha.
I would rate my experience as an 8/9, and I think my LO was actually pretty easy overall. No colic, short witching hour phase, and only cried when hungry. He never woke up more than 3 times a night, even from the beginning, and by 3-4 months he was down to once a night, and then was sttn by 5 months. The first few weeks I was running on adrenaline and things didn't seem too bad. Then it all caught up to me. I suffered from pretty bad PPD/PPA and that did not go away for months. I was in shock at how different my life was with baby, and how I was "trapped." I felt awful feelings of regret for at least the first three months.
Now at 14 months, things are much, much better but I have to say that those early months have really scarred me and I am pretty much not willing to go through it again.

I feel like it ranged from 1-10! DS is a pretty easy baby but FTM anxieties on top of jaundice and occasional almost completely sleepless night made for some rough days. Overall I would say the first six weeks were about a 5 since I was in survival mode and once I was more comfortable in my abilities it got much better!

so crazy reading all of these! babies can be so similar and then so different!

#1 i would give a 1 for her infant days. she only cried when hungry. she was a little jaundice but that was her only issue. i was kinda batty mentally (was living with my mom before finally moving in with dh) but felt just so focused on taking care of her to let sleep deprivation get the best of me.
#2 is more like an 8. constant feeding, rash on his poor neck, i refuse to hand him off to dad because he's still smoking cigarettes, and now reflux. things in my personal life are great but this baby just seems like he's in pain and it really breaks my spirit and i'm constantly just looking at him, wishing i had all the answers. the dr appointments are killing me and so is my back/ribs/arms from trying to soothe him constantly.

i'm about to go see my SIL and i will probably ask her how she would rate her experience so far!

2? And mostly just the first few weeks when breastfeeding was super painful. After that I would say 1. DS was a great newborn! Hope this baby is just as easy! As a toddler though? Oh man, some days (or portions of days) are the 8-10 range!

I do have to add, I am in canada so I get a year of maternity leave. My baby still woke 2-3 times a night until just before he turned one but since I wasn't working it was much easier to cope and I often napped when he did during the day. Working at the same time would be much more difficult!

I'd say mine was about a 2, if that. My daughter nursed a lot, and that was a bit hard at times, but other than that it was all pretty easy. The lack of sleep wasn't fun. But my daughter was an extremely easy baby. They do exist! We just went about our lives, for the most part, and she came along. It was lovely. I'm really hoping for another baby like that this time.

I'd say a 9, I don't feel I can say 10 because he had no actual health problems. But his undiagnosed tt led to almost 6 solid months of constant crying when awake, and waking up every 40 minutes to feed all night long. He was never happy and I felt like it was all my fault, I didn't understand how everyone else seemed to have such happy, calm babies. It was definitely the hardest thing I've done in my life. But I think even if #2 is just as hard, I will find it easier because I'll know it isn't my fault and it will get better!