DD2 is one week old today. I was going through some old photos of DD1 and broke down crying! It made me so sad thinking it was never going to ve just her and I anymore. Then I felt guilty for #2 for thinking that way! UGH. This is normal right? I have heard about it but honestly never thought it would effect me.
-
Anyone?
-
LO2 isn't here yet, but yes, I already wonder what life will be like once it isn't just me & my sidekick anymore
-
I have this already and LO isn't even here yet. For 6 years it's been me and DS. sometimes I feel like I'm taking me away from ds but that's really irrational. Cause really I'm giving him a brother that can be with us. I've been trying to do a lot of fun things on the weekend since there's not much time left of just me and him.
-
It's completely normal.
Lately I've been feeling bad for not being more patient with my almost 3 year old.
I also feel bad when I'm smiling and laughing with my DS, because I look over at my DD and catch her watching me..She has a .. I don't know how to describe it.. look on her face.
So I've been doing my best to smile and laugh and look at both of them equally when we're together. -
When DS was a newborn, I felt bad because he had to cry some nights while I was putting DD down.
DH traveled heavily last year so I flew solo a lot! -
I felt sad for the first week, but then got over it quickly because DH went back to work and life resumed as per normal. I spent just as much time with DD1 as I did pre-baby. So I think it helps with the guilt to get right back into the swing of things. And she loved helping me with the baby so it was just enjoyable seeing my two girls together.
-
@chopsuey: aww the look
that must have been tough having DH away.@Andrea: thats good to know. Just keep a routine going.
-
@Lindsay05: I started to answer this last night during a nursing session and fell asleep mid type (HA!). I felt that way when DS#1 was born. I felt terrible that I wasn't going to be able to give DD undivided attention, that I needed to tend to DS#1 instead of responding to her needs immediately, and recovering from a c-section I couldn't pick her up or put her in her crib. It was bad for teh first week or so, but it got better and then it got awesome. I still think one of the best things that I get to witness is my children being siblings. I have watched DD get possessive over DS#1 when another little girl she didn't like got to close, I have watched DS#1 learn things from DD, their love for one another is so neat, and they play together.
I think the transition of 1 to 2 kids is almost as difficult as 0 to 1 kids, so just hang in there! It will get better
and then it will get awesome (for what it is worth, the transition of 2 to 3 is much easier than 1 to 2! so should you decide to keep going it won't be this hard again)
-
@Lindsay05: Aww, yes so normal... I definitely felt that way about having #2. During the last weeks of that pregnancy, I was honestly pretty sad that the relationship I had with DD1 as an only child would change forever. We had 3.5 years to bond as a mom-daughter pair before her sibling came along, so it was tough! Hopefully soon the sadness and guilt about it will pass... There will be moments when you realize that although it's different, the benefits and joy of having two are amazing! It's tough when #2 is a newborn and not as interactive yet, but you'll get there. For me, I distinctly remember the first day they both napped at the same time... I used to think there wasn't anything more joyful than watching DD1 sleep so peacefully... But that day as I watched them both sleep, I realized that that joy in my heart doubled. Hang in there!
-
@Lindsay05: yes, I think a routine helps everyone adjust! Hope you're having a good day.
-
Yup, I felt this a lot. I felt bad for DD1 watching her parents fall in love with another little kid. I also felt bad for DD2 that she wouldn't get the same adoration and attention that goes a long with being the first granchild/niece on both sides and our only child. I know it sounds silly but it made me sad.
DD2 is 12 weeks now and I love the newborn stage and DH and I have gotten better in a routine, but especially with everyone getting over colds so DD2 needing even more attention I miss that I can't just go in and snuggle DD1 whenever I want or take her as easily on adventures.
-
Breaks my heart when my oldest says she wants mommy to give her a bath and put her to bed. If the baby doesn't need to eat I do, but usually I'm stuck nursing. I'm a sahm so I spend a lot of time with both of the kids, but its still different now.
-
Funny, I thought I would feel more guilty that DS1 wouldn't get as much attention any more, but now that DS2 is here, I mostly feel guilty that I can't give DS2 the undivided attention that DS1 got as a baby. DS2 is constantly getting dumped in the swing or the play gym or wherever while I tend to DS1, it seems. He's a pretty accommodating baby, thankfully, but sometimes I feel like apologizing to him. And I also think it has been harder for DH to bond with DS2 since I'm usually getting the baby by default when we're both around due to BFing.
-
It's soooo normal. I remember the night I stayed over in the hospital I missed dd so much. I was hormonal & such a wreck. When I came home I felt like she had grown a bunch while I was gone 2 nights. I was so conscious of making sure she didn't feel neglected. Then as DS got older I started feeling Soo guilty that everything had to revolve around his older sisters schedule and he was basically just tagging along. You will always carry some sort of guilt but I've learned to let it go a little. In my heart I love them equally but also differently. I think you just do your best
-
Aww all of these responses make me want to cry and smile at the same time (ugh hormones!). I have been hugging both children a little tighter the last couple days just to reassure them both that they are equally loved! These darn cute buggers
that must have been tough having DH away.
and then it will get awesome 
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
15 comments