Hellobee Boards

Ugh. I saw that article floating around the other day and it really just stirred something in me (which was obviously the point, given the title of it.) I really don't care how you choose to parent your children, as long as you're not negligent or abusive, so stop telling me how to parent mine! (Obviously not you, OP, just the general "you") It just feels like these days, no matter what "style" you choose to go with someone is going to have a problem with it. You do you, I'll do me.

I do like that there was a counter argument and that it showed how this physician is not really the parenting expert he thinks he is.

I agree with previous points made that you do what works for you as a parent.

I'm not a fan of this theory honestly. I give my child choices because I treat him as a person with likes, dislikes, and preferences. Maybe they're irrational at age 2, but they're still valid in my opinion.

I lay down the law when I have to, but I grew up in a household where my feelings were belittled and weren't important and my voice didn't matter. T will always be important and his voice will matter, even if it's just to say No when I offer him some chicken even though he just ate it yesterday.

I don't think that will make him a disrespectful, overweight, over medicated kid.

I completely disagree and can't stand articles that generalize an entire generation of parents or children. I've seen more than one article like this lately that vouches for authoritative parenting, which I don't disagree with, but the "old school" parenting approaches they talk about and support in their articles aren't authoritative!

His focus on food is ridiculous, too. Clearly this old school approach didn't work in American since half of Americans are overweight and obese.

I'm just over older generations pointing the finger and talking negatively about current parents when quite frankly they didn't do all that great a job of raising a decent generation of humans either. How about we build each other up and offer help instead of judgement? Doesn't it take a village?

I saw an article on Facebook about this book and the title was "Parents, you're doing it all wrong" or something like that. I just don't think you get anywhere by telling people they are doing everything wrong!

I give my toddler choices, but they are age-appropriate choices. And just because he has choices in some areas, doesn't mean there aren't rules and boundaries in other areas.

@macintosh: I thought RIE parenting was extreme too, but now that I have read her stuff and listened to her podcasts, it's largely practical and in line with the research on effective parenting styles.

I think that Sax article was ridiculous and curmudgeonly like the Slate article said. I am on the board of an organization that teaches parenting classes so I am up to date on the research and theories of parenting, and Sax's method is totally outdated, but I am sure will appeal to people who think the world is falling apart. Generally though, parenting research all agrees that authoritative (setting boundaries but being warm and flexible) is the best, and there are many many ways to do that - gentle parenting, RIE, time-outs, 1,2,3 magic, etc. The stuff that is substantiated to cause distress and problems with later life functioning is the authoritarian style (firm, rigid) which is essentially what Sax is advocating for.

@Maysprout: yes to your last line: And while kids don't rule the roost, helping children make thoughtful decisions seems like a fairly important life skill.

How does teaching a kid to do what I say when I say it help them grow into an adult capable of making their own decisions?