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Sorry to hear about your divorce. Before these problems did you like where you are living? If so you might want to give it a time. Therapists always say not to make any huge decisions while you are emotionally upset. Just something to think about! Although if you will have trouble affording to live there, you have to do what you have to do.
Hugs
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((hugs)) I'm so sorry you're going through this right now...
To piggyback on the other attorney advice... If you need an attorney in CT or whatever state you're from (filing requirements vary by state), let me know.
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I am so sorry. Thinking of you!
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I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through such a rough time. This is not your fault. I would definitely move closer to my family if I were in your shoes. I hope things get better for you soon.
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Thank you so much. To all of you. You don't have to show such support but you chose to and I appreciate every kind word.
Sorry for the delay. I had to do bath time and bed time. That was a mess. While reading her a book titled, "I love you all the time" I just lost it. And she must have been like WTF Mom? Unless kids are into quivering, shaky story telling?
I think you're right. I need my family. They're amazing at rallying around to support. And I need that. Badly. My mom is coming this weekend. My plan is to be a big ass baby. But she is my mommy so it will be fine. And I will be fine. Intellectually I know that. But ugh, my heart is struggling and telling me awful things about myself. And let's me serious, there is always some truth about what you think about yourself in your darkest hours. But jeez, heart- ease up.
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@BabyLove: Im sorry to hear this. You posted before bout going to school. Are you doing that? Can you try to find something to do for yourself.
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@BabyLove: OH I agree, you need your family.. so glad you mum is coming. My heart breaks for you, I am so so so sorry. You have NOT failed as a mum. You are trying to be strong for her, that says everything. xo
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I am so, so sorry you are going through this. As PP have said, you did not fail your daughter. I hope that you find peace as you adjust, and I hope you are able to move closer to your family.
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@BabyLove: those story times are 100% understandable. As she grows up and sees what a strong woman she has for a mother, she will just love and respect you even more for that.
I so badly wish I could give you a hug. I'm so glad your mom is coming!!
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@BabyLove: oh my goodness. honey... my heart is breaking into a million pieces for you. No one enters a marriage thinking it won't last forever, maybe that's the most painful part of all? All those life plans you've had for years, taken away... I'm so, so so sorry. I am sending you a huge hug right now and hoping that amidst this heart break you find some semblance of peace.
To echo what others have said, you haven't failed your daughter sweetie... She will love you same as always... but it is true it will be hard for her and I wish you all the strength in the world to be her rock.
In addition I agree with others... I already know that if DH and I were to split, I'd likely move in with my parents for awhile. Even though I have a decent job, I don't make half of what DH makes and couldn't support my son and myself on my own. I would need not only the financial support but more so emotional support of my family. We're actually in the opposite boat - DH moved 1000 miles from family to be with me, and my family is 10 miles from me.
But now that we have an LO I'm pretty positive he would never leave - J is his whole world.Anyway... I'm sending you a huge hug. My heart goes out to you.
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Im so sorry! No one is perfect and it seems that you are being hard on yourself. Your username says it all though - you love your LO quite clearly and you're a good mom. I hope your mom comforts and pampers you - hugs.
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I am so sorry you're going through this, I can't imagine what it must be like. Moving closer to your family seems like the best option at this time, until you get back on your feet. Big hugs mama.
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@BabyLove: I am so so sorry friend...sending you all my thoughts and wishes for u n baby girl to get thru this transition. Hugggggs xoxo
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@BabyLove: just wanted to send some hugs and tell you that you are a great mother. Whatever you have to do to make it work, just remember that she will grow up knowing how much you love her.
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@Mrs. Pen: Sometimes it doesn't seem possible that you are only as old as you are. And I mean that in only the best possible way.
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I'm so sorry this is happening to you. As others have said, you definitely haven't failed. You will show your daughter what it means to be strong and independent, and to deal with life's ups and downs with grace and resilience. My cousins were raised by a single mother and they are amazing people and have a great, close relationship with their mom.
Don't feel like you have to get your sh*t together immediately, either. You'll get there in due time, but for now as long as you and your daughter are clothed, fed and sheltered, you're doing a great job. Good luck mama.
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@BabyLove: I definitely think you need family around you! Big hugs!
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I'm so, so sorry you are going through this. It's an awful situation but as others have said, you are by no means failing your daughter and even in those dark moments, don't even for a second let yourself believe that you are. I'm glad your family is rallying around you, draw strength from them and don't be afraid to let all of your emotions out, that's what they're there for. Big hugs to you.
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I'm tearing up reading this and I'm just so sorry. I wish I could force you to see that you didn't fail, but you'll have to accept that on your own, in your own time, and you will. But just to be clear and remind you while you need to hear it: you didn't fail yourself, your daughter, or anyone else. No one has a life without bumps. I know it feels like a mountain right now, but you will get past it, you will find complete, utter happiness, and you will look back at this time in your life as something that has led you to where you are supposed to be. You always hear things like "God bless the broken road," and "When one door closes, look for a window." I know all these quotes seem trite and cliche, but the point is that there are so many sayings like this because the loss, pain, grief, failure, fear, broken heart, despair, etc., that you are feeling is universal, as is the hope and happiness that springs afterward: it's all part of the human experience, and you are not alone. I hope that provides you at least a little solace. Please be good to yourself, snuggle that sweet babe of yours, and let your mom take care of you while she visits. It is OK to cry, and yes, if you can, move to be near your family. BIG hugs.
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've also survived a divorce, but I can't imagine going through that with a LO. I'm so sorry! But please don't think you failed her or the marriage! It takes two people to make a marriage work. You can't do it alone.
I would go to my family. Right now you need to be surrounded by people that love you. Let him make the effort to see his child. He is the one that left, after all.
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Ugh, I can't really respond or even read these messages until I'm in a safe space. Meaning until I can ball my eyes out. I just opened this up at work... bad move.
I don't know what to say anymore. I just know that I appreciate the advice. And I will figure things out. I will learn the hard way how to be on my own, and how to pave a new path. Brand-freaking-new.
I sound semi-strong, right? Meanwhile I've been texting my husband, ex-husband (ouch) all of these heartfelt, last ditch effort rants to make him think he's wrong. That's always successful... no.. it's not, ever. But I can't help it. I wear my heart on my sleeve, always have, probably always will. I just don't understand why he didn't first want space. We've been together for 10 years, we've had issues but we've never kinda given ourselves the separation to get clarity. We just swept issues under the rug and waited for them to inevitably resurface. We didn't invest enough in resolutions. Hindsight, man.. it's a bitch.
This hasn't hit Facebook yet. Ha. I know it's just FB, but when it does- I'm going to wish I could do my own Eat, Pray, Love. God, I so wish I could do that, right now... but with a toddler.. who really isn't interested in enlightenment or things outside of Sesame Street.
To respond to one of the posts- yes I am going back to school. I'm getting my masters in Social Work. Ironic kinda, I can be my first case study. Or maybe I can find a bunch of supportive people. Or just people that can tell me to get my shit together in a more positive spin. Who knows. I am just so confused how I will manage classes. But I know I have to go. My school is about 40 mins away from where I live now and the program is every other weekend. It would be about 1.5 hours from my Mother's. I have got to make more money (than my ex, just to be quitely spiteful) and be a successful woman for my child.
PS. Humor is my BFF, we go way back
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@BabyLove: I'm so sorry you're having to go through this! You're not just semi-strong - you ARE strong! You will come out of this and you will be such an excellent role model of a strong women for your daughter (no failure there!). Can you disable/suspend your Facebook?
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@BabyLove: Hey woman - you can suspend your FB account! Maybe think about it if it's going to be bad. You can reactivate after the dust settles.
Also -- about the texts -- this is what I told another friend who went through a divorce. I don't know if I'm right but I don't think there's any shame in this. The important thing is that you feel you did whatever you could to save your relationship, so if you feel like this will get you to a point where you know your hands are clean, do it.
hugs
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I am so sorry! My heart breaks for what you must be feeling. You did not fail your daughter- I have always believed (especially as the mother of a little girl) it is more important to see a woman as capable of being independent than to see her live through an unhappy marriage. Two hours is not so far that its not maneagble, it is far enough away for you to have a fresh start- free of memories or shared friends keeping the pain fresh. Move! You two will make co-parenting work from that distance and you will heal.
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sorry lady. I'd move back to be close to my family.
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