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We did this until 13 months when I said enough was enough. She had STTN previously, fell asleep on her own since 5 months, and absolutely would not sleep with us in bed if she was restless as much as we tried! A couple MOTN wake ups with some attended CIO and she's much better sleep as a result. I'm a huge fan of doing what works for your family until it doesn't work anymore!
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I'm a Cry It Out Mummy.
I'm a Cry It Out Mummy who believes wholeheartedly that babies need to be given space to learn to self soothe..... unless they're sick or teething or not quite themselves. I'm a Cry It Out Mummy who's baby is ALWAYS sick or teething or not quite herself! That's when we cuddle. That's when we get up for a bit and have a sneaky bottle of milk. That's when Mummy sits by the cot with her hand on her baby's chest, singing softly.
I'm a Cry It Out Mummy who's baby usually goes straight back to sleep when you pop her dummy (paci) back in. It's a no brainer, right? I'm a Cry It Out Mummy who has been into that nursery to reinsert that dummy every night since my baby started sleeping there - often repeatedly.
I'm a Cry It Out Mummy who fully planned to sleep train at 5.5 months; the date was set. I read Weissbluth cover to cover. But it didn't feel like the right time. Weeks went by and the right time never came. I posted on here, I strategised, I re-read my book... and then.... one day.... it fell into place all by itself. The last few nights she has slept through. (10 months)
I'm not a Wait It Out Mummy. I just think that sometimes you just know the right thing to do at any given moment - whether that's nursing, rocking, cuddling or leaving them to soothe themselves. Last weekend, my baby learned to crawl. When it came to her nap time, she would not settle. She was so tired her eyes were closing but she was rolling about the cot, getting up on her knees and screaming. Picking her up didn't stop the crying - she just needed her sleep. At that moment, Mummy knew what to do. She told her baby she loved her, shut the nursery door and walked away. I think my heart broke that afternoon, listening to her cry. I muted the monitor, poured a glass of wine, went to the bottom of the garden and waited. Within 5 minutes, she was asleep. Since then, she has gone down like an angel every time and slept through. I guess it was the right time.
I'm a Cry It Out Mummy who waited so long her baby figured it out all by herself!
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@Cherrybee: aww, that made me shed a tear. I agree with everything you said.
I wanted to do WIO, I really did. I wanted to believe that my baby would learn to sleep on her own. She sttn very early on, but she could not figure out how to put herself to sleep and nothing we did was working anymore. I figured a few minutes of crying was preferable to hours of her crying with us there trying to get her to sleep!
What swung it for me though, was the car seat...I could not keep pulling over every journey, every time she cried and thus we effectively let her CIO in the car. Do WIO parents pull over each time their infant fusses in the car? No? How is it different?
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We've waited and are still waiting it out. DS is 22 months and we've tried all sorts of sleep training but he seems completely immune. In the early days I felt a lot of pressure to" do something" about DS sleep but now I'm happy with giving DS the comfort and closeness he needs at night, even if that means having a 30 minute cuddle while he drifts off to sleep. In 10 years time this period will seem so short and I can guarantee you I will not be saying 'I wish I'd cuddled and held my baby LESS and spent more time doing chores/watching tv/working out'. This time is precious, soon enough LO will be growing up and leaving me and my cuddles far behind.
@ Illumina: not sure what the car seat has to do with sleep training? In the car you're right there with the baby and can calm/soothe/reassure/speak to her even though she is strapped into her car seat, no need to pull over to do that.
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@London Mama: I meant "training" in the sense that you are trying to get the baby to settle/sleep without picking them up. Talking/soothing did not help my LO in the car at all so I didn't see a difference between letting her cry in the car versus the cot, with the slight exception that the motion helped her to sleep a little.
I struggle with the concept of WIO a little because I take it to mean, trying to prevent your child from crying whenever possible...so how far do WIO parents go with that?
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@illumina: speaking for myself, in that I only did it for sleep. I didn't let her rule the roost 24/7, or even at night. I felt like if she was waking she needed something, and it was easier for all of us to get sleep if I went in and attended to her whether rocking, pacifier, or nursing (til 10 months).
Eta: to me car is a different matter. Im not going to pull over on the highway and risk our lives. Most she was ever in the car was 30 min tops (small state!). Nighttime I feel like is different.. We all just wanted sleep haha.
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@illumina: just as CIO doesn't mean you never respond to your baby's cries, WIO doesn't mean you never let your baby cry.
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My phone is giving me issues!! Lol
For me: WIO wasn't never letting my LO cry ever. It was just waiting out her sleep patterns and not trying to stress myself out controlling them.You better believe she has cried otherwise, lol! She does not always get her way.
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@illumina: Oh God, the car seat.
And in response to your question - yes, I do sometimes pull over and pop her dummy back in but she usually spits it back out and starts shouting again five minutes later!! Like I said, I'm NOT a WIO mum but I'm a mum who hates hearing her baby cry (nightmare toddler alert??)
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@sorrycharlie: I understand
I'm not sure what I would have done re. night wakings/sleep patterns...maybe like you said, just fed her or helped her get back to sleep ASAP. For us we had to sleep train to get her to fall asleep and I'm not sure how we could have WIO for that. Dh is strongly against co-sleeping, so that was out @Cherrybee: I know what you mean! During the day I struggle with when to let her cry a bit and when to attend to her. I feel now she's a little older she shouldn't be throwing a fit if I'm talking to Dh at lunch and she's not included, so we ignore her more now and she usually finds something else to occupy herself with. Am I being mean? I dunno!
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We just used gentle sleep training - letting him cry a little at bedtime (which was rare) and not responding right away in the middle of the night (letting him cry 5-10 mins). At 4 months he occasionally went without a night waking and it became more frequent until he eventually consistently did it at 8-9 months. We were pretty lucky.
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@London Mama: I agree and it won't be long before she's pushing me away and embarrassed of me in public.
I'm a WIO mama because it works and it is easier at the moment. My LO isn't terribly sensitive so if she's upset I respond. I do ride in the back of the car when DH drives to keep her happy. And we pull over if I need to nurse her or something.
I know she'll figure it out eventually.
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Just wanted to share my personal WIO triumph (and jinx myself in the process) but as of last night both twins have slept through the night for 4 nights - I am calling that success!
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Yes! I love Nurshable.
We do gentle parenting/attachment parenting/intentional parenting and we use WIO.
DD is 14 months. We bed share and she nurses on demand, and she sleeps approximately 12 hours a night unless she's sick. I'm very happy with our arrangement.
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We did a few nights of mild sleep training first to get her sleeping in the crib and then again after she developed a habit (after having a cold for a couple weeks) of waking at 11 p.m. But other than that, we pretty much waited it out and she started reliably STTN at 9 months. Having said that, she was only waking 1-2/night before that, if it had been more than that I would have considered more serious ST because the sleep deprivation would have been too much for me to handle.
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@Ms.SK: that's amazing. Congrats!
And in response to your question - yes, I do sometimes pull over and pop her dummy back in but she usually spits it back out and starts shouting again five minutes later!! Like I said, I'm NOT a WIO mum but I'm a mum who hates hearing her baby cry (nightmare toddler alert??)
I'm not sure what I would have done re. night wakings/sleep patterns...maybe like you said, just fed her or helped her get back to sleep ASAP. For us we had to sleep train to get her to fall asleep and I'm not sure how we could have WIO for that. Dh is strongly against co-sleeping, so that was out 
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