Hellobee Boards

Why do you have to watch her? Is there a superstition I don't know about?

Not my mom, but MIL is *always* telling me to put socks on DD. It's only going to get worse now that it's actually getting cold out. At Church on Sunday another older lady was looking at DD, made a comment about her missing socks, then MIL looked over at me with that grin... ugh

My MIL is staying with us right now and any time LO makes any noise at all while eating, MIL basically flies across the room while yelling/screaming "she's choking!!!!!". Um, no. She's eating. The worst part is I'm sitting right next to LO - - if she was choking, don't you think I might try to you know, help my own child?????? Bah.

@Mrs. Taco: My MIL is forever telling us off for little pet names we call DD, like "The Beast". Her catch phrases right now seems to be "Don't call her that!" and "Don't say that to her" .Ugh.

Gosh, everything my mum says annoys me!! It's awful, really - I can't be in the same room as her for more than 10 minutes without getting really irritated! The most recent one: She hated her next door neighbours because they were "noisy" (they really weren't that bad). Well they've moved and surprise surprise her new neighbours are "noisy". She said to me the other day that she is certain that they MUST know the previous neighbours because they have the same "modus operandi". I asked what she meant and she said "hoovering all bloody day then come 8pm the TV goes on and it's blaring out". Oh, so they must know the other occupants then?? Is there some kind of hoover-in-the-day-watch-tv-at-night club I don't know about?? That's just normal people! It's what normal people do!!! AGH!

Add my mom to the sock list! She always wants C bundled. DH and I joke that she wouldn't be happy unless I put my kid in a snowsuit in July!

On the same note, she's been convinced that my car doesn't hear well. My rear has its own set of vents!! She didn't believe me that it got hot in the back until we drive to DC in my car last winter and she sat in the back with Chloe on the way home. Then she complained it was so hot back there and she was swearing! Now she doesn't bug me about layering Chloe with blankets in the car seat anymore.

Currently, it's the constant comparison of my LO to my brother's LO who is three weeks younger. Everything I say about my LO is followed up with a statement about how my nephew has been doing that for ages, or can say more complex words, or is doing x,y, and z, when LO has only started doing x. The latest today was saying my LO has a stubborn streak and is a little hothead, whereas my nephew is a very relaxed, happy, easygoing little guy. Umm, wtf? My child is not a hothead, nor is she overly stubborn - she is a normal 15 month old! UGH!

To be fair, I know my mom is still mad that we're living on the opposite side of the world where she can't see LO very often, whereas she sees my nephew three or four days per week. Still though, comparing your grandchildren and always making mine out to be the less desirable child is not ok! Oh, and she also takes it as a bit of a personal affront that I have a different parenting style than she did, and is forever making comments about how ridiculous I am for BF'ing my child for 13 months, and not giving her chocolate and cookies, and keeping her rear facing in her car seat. Because all those decisions I'm making are harmful to my child, right? Right.

Sorry, I went on a bit of a vent here! This is a very relevant topic for me today!

@Cherrybee: do we have the same Mother? It's hard for me to be in the same room as them for long periods of time too. I get criticised for talking to S like she's a baby.. in baby talk... umm she IS a baby!

@illumina: I will say, I learned that with my LO you can tell she is cold by how cold her feet are. Drove me nuts when my mom would point that out every 5 min though.

For me ours less of advice for DD and more of;
-"She has been cranky today"
-"it's because she misses her grandma. Bring me MY baby!" Or, "if Grandma had her she would be happy and having fun!" She is a month old mom. Fun for her out starting at things, kicking her feet, being carried or face first in a boob. No, she would not enjoy Vegas. (My mom honestly wanted to take my 6 week old on het business trip to Vegas because they "would have so much fun!" How?!?!

Or DH's mom who, on every Facebook post, even if it is about how I saw a bug on the carpet or a picture of a spoon, we get "Kaia misses her Bubbie, Bubbie loves you Kaia!" Or, "Kaia needs her Bubbie, I can fix it." Ugh...

Oh, and don't get me started in the grandma jealousy the two of them. One gets to see her more, one gets to spoil gets more, both are better grandmas than the other because of XY and Z. But neither see her enough and it "isn't fair".

@Mrs. Taco: lol! "Oh hush whiney"

My mom doesn't say anything to irritate me, but she is overly clingy & protective of LO, never at my expense. It might get annoying when lo is older and they are still spoiling him.

My mother ask questions in a condescending tone. She does it all of the time.

She's also totally terrible when you call her upset about something. She doesn't respond in a caring manner, but it one that actually fuels how upset you are. For instance my sister found out today that her children's lead levels are high. They wanted her to bring in her littlest for blood work. She called my Mom and asked if she could watch the older two. My Mom then goes on some rant about how it must be in her house and how they are all going to get brain damage unless she gets them out now. She's really awful lol

DS is 20 months old.

Mom: Sigh. You are still letting him feed himself? You didn't spoonfeed him? (Asian culture is to spoonfeed your child until they are a lot older to make sure they have enough to eat)
Me: Yes. They won't spoon-feed him at daycare.
Mom: Sigh. (frown) He is so cute. I feel so bad you are not giving him enough nutrition. He must be starving. How can he feed himself enough food ? He's so young!
Me: Yes he feed himself enough. If he is hungry, he will cry. If he's full, he'd start throwing food on the floor. You know he's full.
Mom: He got so skinny compared to when he was younger . You need to give him a bottle of formula before bedtime and at least once a day! He is not getting enough nutrition!
Me: I tried. He won't take it. (Which is true. LO weaned himself at 11+ months off of formula)
Mom: No, you need to MAKE him drink it.
Me: If he won't drink it, how do I MAKE him drink it??????
Mom: Why wouldn't he drink it? You MAKE him drink it! He's just a baby!

Argh God. Then I raised my voice. Then she started yelling also saying I didn't need to raise my voice. Arghhhh. This basically happens every time I talk to her.

Other than that, she also says that I should quit my job and be a full time SAHM, take my son out of daycare, and hire a maid if I can to help me out (Again, Hong Kong Culture). According to her, I am treating my son horribly by abandoning him in daycare all day. On top of that, I should have already potty-trained him when he was a newborn. Yes. A newborn. She is disgusted that LO is still on diapers, and she said I was off diapers when I was 15 months old except for overnight. All in all, she is saying I am basically really messing it all up. Thanks mom.

Lunch break conversation (I'm in a little disagreement with my sister today)
Mom: you know how she is, you just have to do what she wants.
Me: Serioulsy, you think I should "just do what she wants to shut her up, no mom, she's wrong"
Mom: You know how stubborn she is just give in.

UM really mother, how about telling your oldest child who is 33 to quit acting like a child and stop giving into her all the time! AGH

My mom lives across the country and the only thing that really bugs me is when I'm stressed out and she'll be like "oh just relax! " (this happened a lot during the year we were TTC...)

I adore the heck out of my MIL, but she likes to call E "her baby" or "our baby". And especially when he was younger if he was crying she would say things like "Your mama must not be feeding you enough!" And when we're letting him fuss himself to sleep in the PnP at her house (because he doesn't sleep well when he's not in his own crib) she'll tolerate it for a minute or two (even if it's just a tired fuss as opposed to an actual cry) and then swoop in and say "Don't worry, Nana is here!"...despite having told us time and time again that we needed to let him fuss some of his energy out.

She also freaked out that we were going to choke him when he first started solids. More than once DH would start to hand something to E, and MIL would grab it and cut it into a smaller piece (like pea-sized) piece.

@Ree723: my MIL does the comparison with DS and his cousin who is 3 months younger too. DS started crawling at 9 months. When his cousin started at 6 months or so. She actually called me just to tell me that he was crawling and he was "so advanced". I wanted to throw my phone at the wall. When she babysits I say "oh DS is doing x now!" And she always says "yeah his cousin does that too!" Ugh.

My mom is refreshingly not annoying. MIL, however...ugh. She wrings her hands and worries about EVERYTHING I do with DS. 'Cloth diapers? Are you sure that wont give him a rash? A collared shirt? Are you sure that wont give him a rash? A fleece sleep sack? Are you sure that wont give him a rash?' For the love of all that is holy, woman! He's never had an f-ing rash!!!!

That and 'Are you sure he's getting enough to eat? It just makes me worry that you breastfeed. You can't be sure he's getting enough to eat!'

Or 'poor little guy!' about EVERYTHING... As if we mistreat him because he gets a bath, gets his diaper changed, gets buckled into the carseat, etc.

These make me happy

- "oh shes probably not feeling good" (everytime she whines or cries)
- "is she still dancing?" (She has been over the dancing phase forever!)
- "she never sleeps good" (told everyone this when lo was small even though she sttn)

Sounds like my mom isn't the only one obsessed with the baby eating enough. Every day I hear her say something about how my LO is "starving". LO makes a whimper, mom pipes up: "poor girl is starving"

No one in their right mind would look at my perfectly-plump baby and think she's starving.

@Lindsay05: ugh. My mom proceeded to tell a whole bunch of people that LO was a horrible sleeper! I was like how do you know? I'm the one up with her. It's not horrible - leave those sorts of comments to me thanks!