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@littlejoy: I would be livid!

Wow, what blatantly sexist assumptions!

I have a similar mental reaction to everyone who asks DH "So, how much time do you get off?" and we respond, "Well, all parents who qualify for FMLA can take up to 12 weeks.... doesn't matter if they're male or female." It's silly, but I think there's a key difference between asking how much time CAN you take off, vs. how much time you ARE taking off. They always asking him about the former, not the latter. It frustrates me that people don't realize the law treats the genders equally.

Um... that is stupid. And super annoying. My husband will be taking off AT LEAST as many days as me to deal with daycare closures or illnesses!

My husband takes more sick days for our son than I do! The reason is because his job has been a lot more flexible than my job/school program.
That is definitely inappropriate. Ugh.

@coopsmama: I guess I am being too optimistic when I hope/assume that people know DH qualifies for FMLA because he works for a large school district.

@DesertDreams88: I get the same question- How much time do you get off? all the time. Most of my daily interactions are with small businesses and that do not qualify for FML. My 12 weeks sounds like paradise to these people, so I try to downplay it as much as possible. Many working moms I know have to return to work within 2-3 weeks because that is all they can afford. The fact DH has parental leave just blows their mind.

@littlejoy: If it weren't for the funky attitude his manager had regarding the 5 weeks leave, I'd chalk up the latest email to his manager overstepping his boundaries and trying to manage your household & the way you two co-parent. However, this guy sounds like an old school sexist.

I just answer without emotion, or don't answer at all in those kinds of scenarios. You can't win 'em all.

yeah, this is ridiculous. DH's direct boss has kids, so is usually pretty understanding with kid stuff (more so than MY workplace, a school, that is surprisingly NOT very flexible at all about kid stuff)--but once or twice made offhand comments asking why Dh would need to stay if our kiddo was sick. And that's because the boss has always had a full time nanny, and we had our LO in daycare, so it's just a different care situation.

If you SAH and his boss knew this, I think that makes sense to ask - or possibly WAH, but way less acceptable because you're still working and may have a deadline of some sort. WAH does mean flexibility but it's still working. (But I think a lot of people who have never WAH don't understand this and think it's just a bunch of free time). So sorta rude to ask.

But if you both WOH then, yeah, rude.

I also think that some people who don't have kids don't really get how much they have to be involved in those kinds of situations. Or just how much work a kid is period. My husband and I before we had our son always bitched about how people with kids were always leaving early or coming late or taking off to be with kids. Now that we have one we get that it's not being done as a luxury, it's a need.
(Not making excuses, I don't even know if he has kids, just trying to figure out some of the ignorance in his statement).