Hellobee Boards

@crystal Thanks for asking! I am ready for the weekend!

I decided to take a break from all things baby today and just be good to myself. I had lunch with a good friend. Of course, she tells me that she is 5 weeks pregnant, and this was their first cycle trying. I am happy for them, but felt so frustrated and jealous. It would have been SO MUCH FUN to be pregnant at the same time. To make things even harder, her OB is my old OB/GYN, who I had to stop seeing due to insurance, though I will be able to see him again (assuming I can get back in) in a few months. Also, when I feel like I have planned so much out and learned so much, it is so frustrating to hear someone who is pregnant and hasn't thought much of this out (like she had no clue that breast pumps are covered under most insurances and stuff like that). I put a good game face on, so I don't think she has any clue how hard it was for me. I feel like an awful person for being jealous of my friend. I texted my husband, who responded, "Hug!" but he doesn't get it, and I figured you ladies would.

@AmeliaBedilia: *hugs* I'm so sorry! It's so much harder when it's someone close to you! Over Labor Day my friend invited me to eat lunch with her. I had a feeling she was going to tell me she was pregnant with her 3rd, which she did. She knew we had been trying and they decided to go for their 3rd and got pregnant right away. Her words to me were "I didn't even have to take a test and still haven't because I just know I'm pregnant." As happy for her as I was, I was gutted. She wanted to tell me one on one because she knew we had been trying, which I appreciated but it was so still hard. She is due in a month and will have gotten pregnant, gone through her whole pregnancy and give birth in less time than we've been trying.

Does your friend know you've been trying? You are a great friend and your time WILL come!!

@AmeliaBedilia: You're a good friend to be so supportive and I'm sure your friend didn't suspect anything. It's totally normal to feel that way and it's happened to me several times since we started TTC. A friend at work recently told me she is having #2 and #1 isn't even a year old yet! People have no idea how lucky they are to just get pregnant right away. Like you, no one knows we're trying to conceive. I get a lot of comments like "You guys need to have a baby!" or "When are you going to have a baby?!". It's hard because we are trying and it's just not working and I have to put on this whole "Oh we'll probably start trying in a year or so." lie. So I totally get it! Hang in there!

@katieleigh_82: if she knows you have been trying that is awful, you werevright to snap at her!

@katieleigh_82: Wow, that is awful of your MIL! I would snap at her. Hugs!

I realize something has to change mentally because I am getting so frustrated. I am trying to figure that out. I am trying to get to a mental place where I don't care SO MUCH. Has anyone else found a good way to deal with the emotions of TTC?

I am currently thinking of putting less focus on what CD it is and when my period is coming and not looking at any baby stuff. I am thinking of trying to have more sex through the whole month, which would be good for our marriage. One thing that is so frustrating is that I put so much mental energy into TTC, then feel I have nothing to show for it. I am thinking of focusing on some combination of taking better care of myself, getting more fit, getting my house more organized, and playing guitar. I am going to try to just expect AF to come and be pleasantly surprised if she doesn't. What do you think? Any suggestions?

@AmeliaBedilia: I'm so sorry about how your no-baby-focus lunch turned out yesterday. Your DH sounds sweet. Don't worry about people's questions to you. I get them all the time. Just today at the grocery store! People are clueless and don't let that affect you.

@katieleigh_82: same advice to you regarding clueless people. But that's a tough one at church. Almost sounds nicely malicious (if that's possible). Mothers in law are funny that way, aren't they?

@MrsMcD: That's so funny you say that cause I was thinking the same exact thing. She knew I would have to bite my tongue and couldn't say what I wanted to in church!!!! Of course she knows we're trying, but she doesn't know where I am in my cycle or anything, but seriously talk about timing while I'm totally stressing about tomorrow.....ugh!

@MrsMcD: I agree on the BFP, I am so excited for all of us! I feel like this board is just so much more personal than the Feb POAS board as that one just has so many people posting I'm having a hard time keeping up.

@Tam: good luck!

@MrsMcD: This is cycle 7 for me and the first I actually started off feeling disheartened. Cycle 9 is quite a milestone, I understand how disheartening it must be.

I've been googling and I think I might have found somewhere we can afford which might actually listen to my concerns and not dismiss my LPD. Planning on talking to DH tonight!