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@jaguar: @JoJoGirl: wall me the info too please!
@JoJoGirl: I can't even with that thread. Who in their right mind would be offended by NOT having a miscarriage? So much eye rolling.
@MrsDragon: we've all been there, don't be too hard on yourself! Sometimes you just have to respect the funk and let it all out. I've been pretty bitter a lot lately.
@Nutella: My big NYE plans are DH grilling, binge watching homeland, drinking a lot and giving 2015 a big ol middle finger goodbye.
@jaguar: big hugs friend. I feel lost too... I'm here for you.
Congrats again to all the ladies with BFPs. Share some of that baby dust with us, mmmkay?
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Well ladies, looks like I'll be hanging around here awhile longer. I had some spotting last night and that turned into full on AF by this morning. Not sure if this was a chemical or not but I guess I am glad I am not in limbo anymore.
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@JoJoGirl: I didn't understand all the attitude on that thread either. I didn't want to respond there and add to the drama but those ladies are lucky whether they know it or not.
@MrsDragon: I also want to be a unicorn. I'm feeling bitter today too.
@LCTBQE: We'll probably go into the city for some NYE festivities. There's a bunch of performances and a parade in the afternoon. Probably won't stay up until midnight though. DH and I feel too old for that. Hehe.
@Crystal: I'll be giving 2015 the finger as well!
Let's hope 2016 is good to us all.
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@catlady: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry
And yes to you and @Crystal: I have NO IDEA what happened there.
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@catlady: I am so sorry.
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@catlady: oh lady, I am so sad to read this. take care of yourself today.
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@MrsDragon: you are NOT bringing down the mood. the mood of this board fluctuates wildly between pessimistic, joyful, hateful, bitter, excited, desperate, hopeful, angry, resentful, happy, and scared shitless, and any amount of any of it is valid.
at this point, I am so frightened that I would give my life savings to be able to have a healthy pregnancy and child. I'm sitting here getting older, childless, feeling basically no symptoms, and it is taking 100% of my energy not to freak out that this pregnancy is an empty sac. jojo's thread yesterday is a nice illustration for any of us who have forgotten for 30 seconds that life isn't fair and doesn't owe us anything. at least that is my atheist/humanist perspective
zen-face.
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@LCTBQE: Zen face and BIG HUGS.
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@JoJoGirl:
give us some good news, would you?
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I am entirely confused as to why anyone would be upset about the "unicorn" classification. EXCUSE ME, sitting over here with my early loss and two years of infertility, that I have offended YOU with your healthy child and the fact that you haven't known the pain of having the rug pulled out from under you. PARDON, that I may never see those two lines again and that I have to face the fact that when my baby was supposed to be due in September of 2015, I still don't have a child or a pregnancy. And, I'M SORRY, that I never even got to see an ultrasound or heartbeat and that almost no one I know in real life has any clue what I'm facing. And LET ME TELL YOU, I had to go to therapy, be put on depression and anxiety medication, still have to really watch my mental health, because of what has happened. So really, I wish I was a unicorn because for me, the idea that any of this could be easy for some is just that - a magical creature.
I am thankful for those who haven't had to face this. Truly. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Unicorns, thank your lucky stars, be happy and content that you've never done this, but don't take the appellation as a sign of disrespect or us being casual about your lack of having experienced a miscarriage. Instead, for us, it is special and these days, seemingly impossible for some of us.
And that's the nicest thing I have to say.
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@LCTBQE: T- 3 hours
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@JoJoGirl: @MrsDragon: @LCTBQE: Thanks ladies. I am sad but also feeling angry today after calling my midwife's office. They won't "count" this as a loss so I still can't get any more testing done (I have had 2 prior mcs). Plus the nurse told me that next time, I shouldn't test until I am at least a full week late for my period. I am probably overreacting but she just seemed very unsympathetic to me.
@LCTBQE: I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I know it's impossible not to stress. Really hope everything is fine with your pregnancy.
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@catlady: ooooh I am so angry for you! I just went through a CP and will find out next Friday if it 'counts' -- the doctor who I saw when it happened told me basically that if it were the 80s I wouldn't even know and that I should 'let things calm down.'
I don't think you're overreacting. In my experience a lot of practitioners just don't get how painful this all is.
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@mrsjd: Ay yay.
Everyone on both sides got really worked up. I'm with you, I get it. I'm still trying to understand what made everyone so upset, but for now, let's put it away and move on. Hang in there and don't lose hope, okay??
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@JoJoGirl: Thank you and yes, I agree that we should all just move on. I get really frustrated and my post was more cathartic and trying to describe why I feel the way I do. I'm okay.
I'm 12 dpo and haven't tested this cycle. I don't want to see another negative. My emotions are all over the place, which usually happens right before I start my period. So we'll see.
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@JoJoGirl: good luck today!!
For all those in a bad place- we are almost through the holidays. We can do it. I always hate when people say "20XX will be my year", but dammit may 2016 bring us all joy. In whatever form that takes.
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@mrsjd: You are totally entitled to feeling frustrated. Please vent any time you need to.
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@LibbyLou: Thank you!!
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@catlady: I'm so sorry. and yeah, I'd be pissed at my doctors office too. Can you get a second opinion from another practice? In my opinion thats bullshit.
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@catlady: I'm so sorry. It's also total bullshit that they aren't counting it as a loss. I'm sitting here super annoyed for you. Be good to yourself today. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. Hugs.
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@JoJoGirl: GOOD LUCK!!!!!! Please post immediately, so that I don't have to obsessively check this post
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@Zbug: Haha. I'll try! I have to go pick up a bday cake for my dad right after then "work from home" but I'll try to jump on from my phone
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@mrsjd: I hear you on every single thing you said. loving the caps lock
the attention to mental health is something that I feel like will always be on the front burner. and I also resent people who have everything handed to them and don't understand any degree of suffering. it's weird, because it isn't like I want them to lie face-down in the dirt and tell me they're so grateful for the ease in their lives, but then, I kind of do... oy. @catlady: @MrsDragon: this is fucking garbage. the privilege of living NOW is that medicine is so much better than in the 1980s. it is 2016, fucking idiots, not 30 years ago, so perhaps they could treat you as if it's present day and not 30 years ago.
@LibbyLou: this is such a sweet thought and amazingly penetrated my anger/fear/frustration! thank you.
@JoJoGirl: you're supposed to "work" after this appointment in the 3 hours before a national holiday? who are these barbarians!
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@LCTBQE: hahahah! It's self-imposed.. our office officially closes at 3, the ultrasound is at 1... so you do the math. I just don't want to feel like I'm sneaking out
Nobody is in today anyway! that's why it was in quotes.. -
@LCTBQE: the thing that frustrated me the most last time was that the doctor wanted me to be in the 80s in regards to pregnancy testing -- but then ordered an ultrasound (modern medical technology!) even though I was like 4 weeks 1 day and knew that it would show nothing at all. So I feel like they're picking and choosing what modern medicine is acceptable. If we were supposed to pretend we can't test early (or even 'on time' when our periods are due!) then why the eff did they MAKE better tests?!
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121bpm! Measuring right on track 6w5d
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@JoJoGirl: YAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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@JoJoGirl: awesome!!!
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@JoJoGirl: Booya!!
congrats girl
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@JoJoGirl: yay!!!
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@JoJoGirl: woohoo!!!!!!! You're measuring ahead of me! Great news!
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@LCTBQE: @Silva: @LibbyLou: @LibbyLou: @Zbug: @MrsDragon: Thanks all!!! Those who've been here before, when does that reassured feeling kick in?!
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@JoJoGirl: That's such good news! Congrats!
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@mrsjd: hear, hear!! Couldn't agree more. And I know what you mean - I also thought to myself when I found out that I would never wish this on my worst enemy. Hugs to you & hoping 2016 is much better
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@JoJoGirl: HOORAY! I'm so stoked for you - checking in on my new year morning to see how you went
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@LCTBQE: zen face hugs to you. I agree with everything you wrote!
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@catlady: sorry Hun, and fwiw those doctors offices sound atrociously insensitive
Sorry for all my separate posts - on my phone & struggling to navigate!
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@JoJoGirl: yay! That's exactly dating and heart rate of my sons first ultrasound. As for reassurance, I felt confident finally after my my scan at 13 weeks. Now I'm 14 weeks and feeling better (less nauseous) so I'm nervous all over again.
I think when I feel movement I'll feel better.. Ugh.
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@MrsDragon: this sounds like a totally arbitrary grab-bag of bullshit. I wish that you had more options out where you live
So frustrated for you.
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Some of you may have seen on the December POAS 6 months + board, but I got a positive test this morning. In a lovely twist, I also had brown spotting at the exact time I peed on the stick. Positive was pretty strong and showed within 40 seconds, so that's great. I'm fearful of another chemical. I know you ladies can relate.
But I'm choosing to be happy! Today I am pregnant! Thank you for all the love and support. Cycle 24 and the 2nd on Clomid worked. So I'm grateful that at least we can get pregnant. Here's hoping for a healthy one.
zen-face.
give us some good news, would you?
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