If you have little ones two years apart can you tell me how hard it was to manage? I have 2 right now that are 3 years apart (4 years and newly one) and I was thinking of doing 2 years for the last one but realized Im a bit scared at the idea of only 2 years apart. Two just seems so young now after seeing three and four. i worry that they will need me a lot still and Ill be stretched thin trying to manage her and a new one. What was your experience with a 2 year gap?
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I know one of the reasons I'm glad we are ending up with a 3 year gap instead of a 2 year gap is because this is probably our last, and I feel like I really got to enjoy her as a baby for the full time before starting over.
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The first 6 months were the most challenging because I was nursing a lot, and when she just turned 2 she still had a hard time playing independently for extended periods of time. Now that she's 3, I can see a huge difference in how much more independent she is - she can just hangout downstairs by herself for 30-45 min no problem and she definitely wasn't capable of that when she was 2.
It worked out for us though because she was still in daycare full-time so on weekdays we didn't have to juggle multiple kids, and on weekends my husband and I divided and conquered a lot so he really focused on her, took her to the park, had daddy/daughter playdates, etc. while I tended to the baby. We consciously tried to give her the attention and made sure she didn't feel left out or neglected in any way to mitigate the changes that were happening in all our lives with the new baby.
She loved her little brother immediately, and was so good to him right from the start. She was fascinated and curious about him, and I enjoyed watching her blossom into that big sister role.
It would've been hard for me to manage them alone with the 2 year difference, but because I had DH around and we sent DD to daycare, it was doable for us. When you have #3 though, Drake will be at an age where he'll be in school and know how to be helpful - maybe him and Juliet will be able to entertain each other while you tend to the third.
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Mine are 19 months apart... does that count?
I found that the first 6 weeks were not too difficult. The baby mostly slept during the day, so we were able to carry on with our "usual routine" with DD1. The hardest part at this point was that DD1 was not sleeping through the night yet (still had 2 wakeups) so....we were tired.
It didn't get harder until later, when DD2 started falling into a schedule and needing naps at certain times. I solo parent at nighttime (my husband isn't home until 11:30 pm), so bedtime by far has been the biggest struggle for me. Now that DD2 is 7 months old, I still don't really have a great routine down for bedtime.
All that said, I am so happy with our close spacing. But, I also don't have anything to compare it to.
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Not knowing anything else (3 months in having 2), I'm really happy with our spacing! I am also glad that #2 took longer than we had planned so they are 2 years and 2 months apart, instead of 18 months. As long as my #1 could walk I knew I would be ok, but he is also very independent and easy going.
The first 6 weeks were really hard for me because he was so pissed at me and didn't understand why his world was invaded by a baby, but once we got past that it's been really good. It does help that our #2 has been a good sleeper and eater, so it has been going much better than the first time around.
That said, we are still planning a #3, but probably not for another 3 years or so! Pregnancy is debilitating for me, being sick all the time, I need them both to be a little older before I take that on again. Plus I want to enjoy being weaned for a while before the next one, as I weaned soon after getting pregnant last time and didn't get a good break.
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@Mrs. Chocolate: We are done after this, but would love to know how it was with the 3 year gap? I sometimes worry that we waited too long, thinking of their sibling relationship as they get older.
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@Boogs: I like the three year gap (partially because its all I know) but DS was newly 3 when DD was born. He wasnt potty trained yet but overall he had mastered a lot of abilities I felt like feeding himself without making a mess, able to go up and down the stairs without my help, climbing into the car seat on his own, etc Also he could be left alone downstairs for short periods of time when I was nursing or putting the baby down for a nap. He adores his sister and I do think 3 is a great age, just far enough that they are in different stages for a little bit (like 4 and 1) but that will minimize significantly as they age (they will both be in high school together for one year) I think closeness will depend on the kids but I dont think 3 is so apart that they wont be if they wanted to.
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Mine are 17 months and it has been a breeze. I love, love, love having them so close. He is 22 months (almost) and she is 4 months and it keeps getting more enjoyable and even easier as they both get older.
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Mine are on the other side of 2 years, at 28 months apart, and it pretty easy for the most part. I would almost say that like @Matador84 says, closer would maybe be better, but now that the gals are 2 and a bit and 4.5 life is good. They play together fairly well, and somehow we have all survived!
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@Rainbow Sprinkles: we have 19 months spacing also, and the whole bath/bed routine is awful! I'm only 3 weeks in... but so far that is the hardest part of the day. I'm hoping it will calm down a bit once DD#2 gets on somewhat of a schedule. DD#1 goes to bed super late, so if we can get DD#2 down earlier I hope the staggered bed time will help!
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@Mrs. Chocolate: mine are all 22 months apart, and it isn't the age difference the third time around that matters. I can't tell you how much easier it is going from 2 to 3 it is than 1 to 2! You are already use to dividing your attention, you know how to redirect the older ones, they know how to be a sibling, believe me it's easier. That being said, a 2 year age difference is pretty nice! If I can talk DH into 4, I will try to make it 22 months apart or less.
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@beachbee: @Rainbow Sprinkles: bedtime is super hard for me too. I'm only one month in - my boys are 1 month and 21 months. It stresses me out!
Other than that, I think I'll like the spacing.
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i don't know any different than 22 months apart. i think there are pros and cons of any age gap. a big pro is that now that olive is a little bit older, they can enjoy the same activities. it might be harder if it were a 3 year gap.
what's hard? bedtime! really hard for one person to handle so we've both done bedtime together until now.
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@Mrs. Chocolate: Thanks! Mine is potty trained at least, but sometimes lazy to feed himself. But you're right, there are lots of things he does well on his own now and I can see how helpful that will be.
@Mrs. Bee: I will have no choice to do bedtime solo half of the time, and that definitely intimidates me!
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