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@Adira: Aww, poor guy! Kara had one traumatic poop incident too and never tried since

DH is also getting frustrated at the lack of potty training and wants to do it before the year ends.

I'm really reluctant b/c I know it's a total emotional/control thing for her and I have a feeling she will resist it, a lot.

@Adira: Ugh, I will have to see how aftercare would handle potty training... I know her teacher and all the assistants would be on board helping us. But I feel like the holidays is the worst time to train. Can't do Thanksgiving as we already have plans, and Christmas we're only off 1 day, do I really want to spend Christmas weekend potty training!?

@Adira: I know I said this before, but we had a similar situation with the potty back in March (S was 2.5 at that time). He had been fine with going on the potty and sitting there and peeing or whatever, and even pooped on the potty a few times and was pumped for his rewards, but then he saw his FRIEND at daycare go through potty training and THAT traumatized him to the point where we had to stop - for like 6 months. The little boy at school refused to poop on the potty, but he was a husky kid who really loved to eat, so he would hold it and hold it and then there would be a HUGGGGE poopsplosion. The daycare director told me it was drama - like there literally there was poop like all over the child, his clothes, the floor - everywhere. And DS1 was in a phase where he was playing with that kid all the time, so he had to watch this situation unfold every day, see the teachers rush in like a HAZMAT squad to sanitize everything, and he was like NOPE. Became completely hostile to the potty. The only time we would get him to sit was before bath and he peed on it 50/50 but wanted his diapers and was not down for it.

Anyways, again, 3 weeks after he turned 3, we were like yo, we're gonna put on chonies at home. You tell us when you need to go, okay? And surprisingly, he actually poop trained first! He like consistently pooped on the potty for like 2 weeks, while peeing on himself pretty regularly at home. But then something clicked and he started peeing on the potty too and then after a week of no accidents in the evenings and on the weekend, we went with undies at school during the day.

I just share this because he was SO traumatized by his friend's experience and we were trying to decide whether to push through or not, and we're so glad we waited. He literally just trained himself and I think he remembers how bad it was with his friend, because once he started pooping on the potty, he was like "No poop on the floor, right mommy? Poop on the POTTY. NOT THE GROUND."

@Adira: K is happy to sit on the potty, but I still call her resistant b/c she has peed/pooped in the potty before and she now refuses to!

@Adira: have you tried having him stand? H never had a problem sitting on the potty, but he likes it standing much better!! You can toss in a little wad of toilet paper and have him aim for it, etc. We still go into the bathroom when H goes, so there aren’t any aim/miss issues.

@Adira: Sigh. You may just wanna back off for a few days. Put him back in a pullup and then just tell him to let you know if he needs the potty.

Another friend of mine puts a pull-up or diaper OVER underwear so they can feel the wetness, but not make a mess.

@Adira: Is a diaper a reward tho?

@Adira: I really don’t think giving a diaper back will create a major setback. We stopped and started a couple of times wanting it to happen but he just wasn’t ready. We finally laid off from 2.5-3 and at 3 he pretty much just did it. Pee trained. And night trained. Something at that stage clicked and we did very little to make it happen. And because he was ready and it was on his terms, we very rarely have an accident. Like I’m not saying this to be an a-hole, but it already sounds like you’ve cleaned up more pee than I have and he’s been exclusively in underwear for 2 months now.
I was admittedly stressed and worried that he was one of the last of his “friends” to be in a diaper but now that we are on the other side I’m so glad we went with patience.

ETA: to get him fully pee trained we did a modified version of Oh Crap. I didn’t try to do an immersive boot camp. But we had diaper free time for an hour in the morning and for part of the afternoon. He maybe started to pee once and caught himself in time. And really from there it was smooth sailing. When we had to go somewhere we put a diaper on. For maybe 1-2 weeks? And then when he was consistently doing well at home we experimented close by our apt. And when that went well we did underwear for larger outings. So we just did it very gradually over a couple of weeks. Going back and forth with diapers and underwear over those couple of weeks had no impact.

He still asks for a diaper to poop. He went twice in his little Mickey potty. I tried one day to really push it and force him to go on the big potty sorta “oh crap” style (refused to give him a diaper). And he just got really upset and constipated. I asked my ped at the next appt (his 3yr well visit was a week later) and she said just stop. He isn’t ready and that’s normal to be peeing in the potty before pooping. She said if we force it again it could traumatize him and we’ll have a much harder battle. And she’s a very tough love kind of doc - told me to cio at 4 months, wants to do everything cold turkey, etc. I expected her to be very pro “oh crap” but it’s the one thing she’s surprised me on.

So I ask him every time if he wants to try the potty. We have a paw patrol tower ready to go for when he does and he knows. He asks to see it sometimes. But he knows it will be in the box until he poops on the potty. He’ll occasionally sit but 9/10 times he says nope and we just say ok. I know he won’t be wearing diapers to kindergarten and “when did he potty train” won’t be on his college application.
I just feel no stress about it and I like it that way.
Sure, I’m ready for him to be fully poop potty trained. But if he’s not ready it doesn’t matter much if I am. And right now cleaning up messes all day from clothes, floor, etc sounds more stressful than a poopy diaper once a day or so.

I say all of this not to pass judgement, but to just let you know that deciding to stop and take a break isn’t necessarily a bad idea. Sometimes it’s what you need to do and there’s no shame in that (just like sleep training, getting rid of a paci, etc).

@Adira: I updated with an ETA after you read it I think. Just added how we got to being in underwear 99% of the time (pee trained). In case it helps.

@Adira: Hi! I just read every single comment on this thread after a failed long weekend Oh Crap method over July 4. I know my frustration, like many people here, just made my son refuse. Started out ok, and he DOES understand, but after 2 days he simply refused to go on the potty and I tried to make him he screamed and cried. So my wife pretty much forced us to drop it.

Well, tomorrow, he starts the "3s" room at daycare and they have potties in the room and actively take the kids. In the "2s" room, they did not. I heard that nearly every child in his new room is potty trained so I am PRAYING that that motivates him. He isn't 3 until November but many of the kids in the new room already are.

Like others, he eats better at school and generally follows the crowd so I am hoping this works in our favor and I can bring up PT at home again in maybe a month.

I assume your son is fully PT now?? LOL! Give me hope!

@Adira: Thanks for responding! Even your long-ish journey sounds like wishful thinking to me at this point after dealing with the three days from hell last month. I hope something will magically dissolve his desire to say NOOO when anything potty related comes up once he sees kids going at school

@Adira: My wife wants to wait him out!!!! She wasn’t a fan of the OC method - to put it mildly.

@Adira: Her issue with it was the author acted like they’re ready whenever after two. Like pick a time and GO. Not the case (at least for us)!

@Adira: Agreed. I hope so! Thank you!