Hellobee Boards

All our sets of parents are like the first set you described in regards to LOs care. They all offer to watch him, play with him, and let us take a nap/have a date night/run errands alone. We generally clean up after ourselves like in any guest situation, but my parents do a little more of the "we'll clean, cook, do everything for you" routine.

Both sets are more the first scenario and are great about giving us a break, but we live 15 minutes from my parents, so we don't really stay at their place - they do offer to take care of LO when we need a date night though!

More like the first set (even though I find my family emotionally draining and I hesitate to call it a break). I'm not very inclined to spend a lot of time with people who aren't interested in her (like my dad). I don't think it's normal behavior, frankly

I have lived away from my parents and inlaws. They are actually very similar, in that they help a lot. We can go out to dinner or for an overnight trip when we visit no problem.

My ILs, well, mainly my MIL, always wants to do a lot of babysitting, so much so that I feel like I don't even get to see my own kids, which I'm not ok with. I mean, it's nice to have a date night or two, but she's all about the kids all day long. She also does most of the cooking, but they don't eat the same kinds of foods as I do (heavy on the meat and potatoes), so I don't feel that bad about not cooking. So in a way, I guess it's more lax with the parenting duties, but being with them always stresses me out (they were just here this weekend!) and I don't really feel relaxed.

With my dad, we strike a good balance between his time with them and our family time, but I can also discuss with him directly whereas I leave my DH to deal with his parents.

I don't think there is any right answer though.