Hellobee Boards

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! We have skipped a wedding and a first birthday party that were both controversial in the family, and it’s definitely not fun, but they were also both indoor events where we felt like people didn’t understand or take seriously transmission risks.

I feel like there are so many unknowns, too. Are people being asked to mask or take any other precautions (like antigen testing)? What do case rates look like in your area?

If you talk to your MIL about the event and feel like you can keep the kids masked and distanced especially from unvaccinated family or people whose status you don’t know and case rates are relatively low in your area it might be a tolerable risk. A tool you could use is the microCovid project, which has been circulating my office as leadership prepares us all for a potential mandatory company wide gathering in October. You can create a scenario and it will give you a risk (in microCovid) based on your area and the activity. The color scale is designed for things you’re doing repeatedly so not the best for one offs, but 10,000 microCovids is equivalent to a 1% chance of contracting Covid doing the activity so it lets you quantify and compare. It’s also helpful to compare to things you are doing, like work or daycare if directly quantifying risk seems arbitrary.

Good luck! And no there isn’t a right or wrong decision just the decision you make for your family.

If you take them back to the hotel what will happen then? Will you all skip the reception and stay at the hotel? How far away is this from your house? I'm just wondering if it's actually worth it. I agree with you that this would make me super nervous - that's a lot of people, does she have a yard big enough to hold 80 socially distanced people?

I get that she will be upset if you don't attend. That being said - it's a pandemic, your kids are unvaccinated, and that's a lot of people. I might be inclined to just send your husband, stay home completely, and facetime the ceremony.

I'd go, unless cases are out of control. Outside is really safe. I've seen so many kids at museums and aquariums and on the beach this summer. And obviously their parents can't control who's next to them on the beach. An outdoor wedding doesn't seem that different.

Being outside for the ceremony would not concern me. I would probably have the kids wear masks knowing there are unvaccinated people in attendance. If the food is being served inside and there is no option to eat outdoors then I would leave after the ceremony and pictures. I think it is a good compromise, you will be there to celebrate but are balancing it with your family's safety.

If you are really worried about the kids, you should all stay home. If you think your kids will be exposed to germs, you will be exposed to them all the same and bring whatever it is back to your kids. Safest to stay home. Also, having to be militant about kids keeping masks on and staying outside (what about the bathroom???) sounds like a drag for everyone. Just stay home.