Last time I was home for the holidays, a childhood friend of mine asked me to be in her wedding and I instantly I agreed. I was just in my 1st trimester at the time and know it would eventually mean we'd all be taking a long international flight to be there - around 24 hrs of travel time including connections. But complications with DH's work came up (they closed down his entire location) and coupled with my uneasiness to plan ahead when my LO wasn't even born yet, made me uneasy. So I declined and I made sure to tell her way in advance - that way she can plan accordingly. I still felt bad about not being able to attend, so we eventually managed to plan a trip last minute even though DH just started a new job. It was a surprise for her that although I can't be in it, I'll be able to attend. This is a month and a half before the wedding and everything is planned, dresses bought.

She still wanted me to be in the wedding but her and I talked it out and came to the conclusion that perhaps another part would work best. I know she doesn't want the extra planning stress and I declined a second time because I'm not comfortable leaving LO all day with new ppl, plus she's going though atopic eczema right now and is extremely fussy.

It took us 2 talks to come to a conclusion because a mutual friend has been talking her into having me in it. This is the same mutual friend that I employed to help me explain to her (bride-to-be) how it'll be difficult for me to be in the wedding! She even told me that our friend said, "if that was me, I'd just tell her: you're in it." as in period -_-

So we had a great talk, everything was out in the open. All good. She even told me to tell our mutual friend that all is good. Then I get a msg about a seamstress and making a different dress. And yes, I know I sound like a biatch right now because I should just be happy and honored that she wants me in her wedding, but now, more than ever before am I NOT wanting a whole day plus of obligation!!! Planning a last min trip while LO is sick is enough stress already! So I had to flat out, politely declined for the 3rd time. She responded to me saying she won't ask again and all is good but it's all because our mutual friend convinced her again!

Sooooooo if you made it all the way here, this is my question. Should I just let it go and hope our mutual friend doesn't try to meddle again or should I msg her meddling ass? I don't want to react so quickly and end up complicating this with her BUT at the same time she needs to just stay out of it!