-
@deerylou: I think my DH's family was a little bit put off about it but he isn't that terribly close to them and they had lots of Opinions about me/our wedding anyways I think-- so I found it really hard to care. lol
-
@Boogs: yeah I think its a bit harsh that her nursing niece isn't even invited to the ceremony, much less reception, with a three hour gap in between. But that's another story.
-
@Foodnerd81: I'm so sorry. Maybe you can talk to her about that?
-
@Boogs: nah- I already feel like the baby took attention away from her, so I'm ok with it (for now). She's the youngest in the family so I want to be conscientious that her stuff doesn't get overshadowed. And she found a baby sitter already. So I'll suck it up. Bonus- I won't have to wear a nursing bra with my bridesmaid dress.
-
@deerylou: ha! I remember hearing this same sentiment from my husband's friends with small children. Weddings are not about family, to me, it's a formality to make a marriage certificate valid. Whether you follow up with a JOP ceremony or invite two witnesses to the beach or have a larger wedding it's still just about two people not everyone else and their children.
-
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: weddings, to me, are about the joining of two families, not two people. Probably where some of the differences boil down to over this debate
-
My general feeling is that as a bride or a new mother, you want the focus on you, not the guests, so I try to comply and I don't bring my son to these events unless absolutely necessary or I send my regrets.
Where I struggle is that these events usually are LONG and they eat into a lot of time that I consider sacred because I am a WOHM. I hate to use the word "waste" but that's how I feel I am spending my time if I am not with my son.
-
@looch: That is my sentiment as well
-
@DillonLion: did that really happen in your case? For instance let's say a sibling of yours did something momentous- graduated college or got married or was promoted and their was a celebration or just a birthday party, would your IL's (MIL, FIL siblings in law) be invited to the celebration and come? Would your family- parents and siblings attend your husbands/ ILs family reunion?
I only have one friend where the families truly became one family and it's beautiful. Otherwise most people I know are like me and the commonality between the fams is the couple and all interaction between the familurs is grounded in direct support of yhe couple or their children.
-
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: for the most part, yes! My parents will most likely be in attendance at my BILs college graduation next year. My in laws through a big family party in the fall and my family makes the 4 hour trip out to their land.The only difficulties are the fact that we dont all live nearby so the distance makes things challenging.
-
Throw*!!
-
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Agree. To me wedding are about two people. Not two families. And however those two people want to celebrate is great for them. Some people like a big casual family event. Some people want a grown ups only party. You get one day for your wedding, it should be exactly what YOU want it to be. And I also haven't really seen the "joining of two families" thing. Our parents haven't seen each other since our wedding day. They didn't meet until our wedding shower. They probably won't see each other again until my baby shower, MAYBE, assuming my inlaws even come which I sort of seriously doubt.
-
@DillonLion: that is really special
@Mae: heck I only see my ILs once a year let alone throwing the rest of my family in the mix! Our "immediate" families did not extend just because we got married.
-
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: It's true, that's how our families are also. My family was there to celebrate when my DH graduated college, before we were even married an again my in-laws celebrated my graduation also. My DH also recently got a work promotion and both of our families celebrated with him.
@DillonLion: I agree, I think that's why there are differences -- two people vs two families. I'm personally in the two family camp and always was before I had kids.
-
@Boogs: what you described makes sense...your SO is supported by your parents. What about your siblings? Would your ILs show up for their milestones? To me that is a real manifestation of families blending. Would your SIL or BIL let their children visit for a day with your parents same as they would their own children's grandparents?
-
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Yup, our siblings showed up to those things as well.
My inlaws and BIL have showed up for holidays, and my parents, sibling, grandparent, and a few other family members also have shown up to their holiday events. My inlaws have shown up for birthdays for my parent one time when we actually had a party since it was a milestone. Additionally, my sisters kids actually refer to my FIL as their grandparent lol.All that to say, I realize all families are different and that difference is what makes those types of opinions differ in the debates.
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
55 comments