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It sounds like you maybe need a better system? Could all the adults sit down and work out a plan? Maybe your mom cooks something quick two nights, you get takeout two nights, and you cook three nights, and you plan the meals in advance so you at least don’t have to think about it? Or one weekend night you could make a bigger batch of something that you could eat as a second meal later?

But it’s definitely not fair that you have to do the cooking and you get a hard time when it isn’t done to her satisfaction.

That’s annoying! We started planning 4 meals per week - 1 being extra easy. I would start with something like that that way whoever is doing dinner that night doesn’t need to think of anything. Also I save any of my good cooking for the weekend, weekdays aren’t classy lol so just as an example one week we did

Baked potato soup (made ahead in crockpot)
Asian beef with rice
Potstickers - easy frozen
Chicken dish

Pineapple chicken with rice (crockpot)
Pizza (easy)
Cheesesteak casserole
Fish tacos

@macintosh: Just she pitch in in other ways whether that be financially, child care, etc?

@macintosh: This sounds frustrating. I think it would be best to sit down on a weekend when it's not dinner time, and make a plan for going forward. And don't bring up the past incident or try to assign blame, just say the current situation isn't making anyone happy, so let's come up with a new plan going forward. And then listen.

Maybe she'll end up choosing to keep all meals and groceries totally separate. So you'll be shopping and preparing foods for your own family, and she'll be shopping and preparing foods for herself. Or maybe she'll volunteer to take 1-2 meals a week to plan and cook, and you'll be responsible for the others. But it's important for both parties to have input on the solution so there's buy in from everyone. It won't work if she's just assigning you tasks, or you're assigning her tasks.

Good luck!

Geez that’s awkward. Is dinner usually at a set time? Say 7? Cause then, I guess it’s just a matter of sticking to your guns and repeating “dinner is at 7, like it is every night. Feel free to get a snack if you need”.