I was a little bummed out when I told my mom I was pregnant with LO 2. She wasn't excited at all and just talked about how hard it would be.
I have low expectations from her for any future pregnancies!
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@autumnlove: that would bum me out
My really good friend from elementary (my moh) was like meh when I told her so now I won't tell her or just wait to tell her next time
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TBH, I don't get that excited when people mention their 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc pregnancy.
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@littlek: me neither...just expected a little more from my mom!
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My mom didn't get all that excited like I expected her to. It was my first pregnancy but her second grandchild so I guess it just wasn't the same as when my sister got pregnant and she got super excited. But still I was bummed at how underwhelmed she was.
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@autumnlove: It actually would be totally like my mom to say the same thing. She worries that I would be overwhelmed and DH works a ton, so I would be alone a lot.
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I didn't think people would be that excited when we announced #2 but I was shocked by the negative reactions we got. My cousin's wife has told us repeatedly "that would be my worst nightmare" and others have said "you're pregnant again?!" with a hint of disdain. Yes, the babies will be close, but once the initial shock wore off we were thrilled and hearing people say that our experience with 2 13 months and under would be so "hard" and "rough" isn't helpful in any way!
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I get really excited for people, but personally I have never really cared about people's non-reactions to major life events (weddings, engagements, babies, etc.) However, negative reactions is a totally different thing. In that situation I feel like if I'm obviously happy and unless I'm completely delusional (i.e. marrying an abusive person or a drug addict), keep your opinions to yourself unless I ask for it.
I think I got a better reception at the pregnancy thing because we had some losses and a lot of health issues to overcome. I would fully expect that if we got pregnant without issues the 2nd time, no one would really care.
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I am very nervous about this!! I am 7 weeks tomorrow and we are telling our parents but waiting till 12 weeks to tell the rest of our family. I don't know what reactions will be. This will be our first, my parents 4 th grandchild and my Mil 's first. She will be excited and I hope my parents will be!! I hope I don't get the " are you really ready, was this planned ( um yes!!!!!), etc etc. I was in the teach not have boat until about 1.5 years ago.
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I got no reaction or acknowledgment until I was well into the second trimester from MIL. It has definitely affected our relationship and my willingness to expose LO to her.
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My inlaws paused when DH old them we were expecting another baby! There was an awkward pause and then MIL goes "ohhh congratulations..." and gave us both a hug.
The worst part was I had my iPhone recording their reaction!! We recorded my dad & nana, too. I wanted nice memories but ehhh..
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My in laws were like "oh."
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With my first and only pregnancy (ended in MC) we told my in-laws at 8 weeks because we were going to a wedding with them that night....and let's just say it's obvious something is up if I'm not drinking Pinot Noir.
Anyway, we gave them a bottle of wine with a hand-drawn label on it that had all the details...MIL was freaking out and FIL was completely clueless (this is pretty normal. ha!). When she finally showed him the bottle and tried to elicit a reaction, he was all like "Oh! Hm! Is ________ in the family way?" Yep. In the family way. It was more hilarious than anything--because it was so typical!
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It wasn't a non-reaction to me, but when we told my family, no one congratulated my husband except my sister-in-law. I had to tell my dad to congratulate him. It was very awkward and I'm still mad when I think about it...
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My parents had a meh reaction and it kind of hurt my feelings.
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I got an ok reaction for #2 but my mom is always warning me about having 3.. And any of my friends that get pregnant with 3, she says how crazy they are.. I think she would disown me for 3 and it kind of makes me want to have a 3rd to spite her, haha!
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My stepmom still hasn't acknowledged that I'm pregnant.
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I've actually gotten even better responses with #2 than I did with #1, and that has surprised me. Happy to have all the good vibes either way!
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For our second pregnancy, MILs first response was "did you plan this?" (we did not that it should matter, we're grown adults that fully take care of ourselves). She never even said congratulations....
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My SIL had a horrible reaction. DH's relationship with her still hasn't recovered.
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A lot of people asked if we planned our second pregnancy (and continue to ask), but honestly I'm getting used to it and don't care.
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My in-laws freaked out with my mother in law bursting into tears- and not in a good way!
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We told my mum & DH's parents on the same day & received two very different reactions. My mum was literally bouncing with excitement but my in laws said they felt that it was too early to tell anyone (even parents). They concentrated on what could go wrong at this stage & I didn't find it useful at all (like we weren't already concerned about this!). I was only 4 weeks but I couldn't keep it from my mum & felt that it was only fair to let the other grandparents know. I was pretty hurt & wished I hadn't been so concerned about playing fair.
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Wow, this was me earlier this week! We're having the first grandchild on both sides, and the ILs especially were excited for kids.
Well, fast forward to telling them, and my mom was fairly happy, I guess, but she suggested we wait until after we're married (in a month) to tell my grandparents, because my grandma "is really liking forward to the wedding". And my getting KU a few months before that might ruin it all? . Sheesh. It's not like I'm 16 and have only known the father for a few weeks!
Yes, the timing is awkward, but I refuse to act as though this is something shameful or bad. This child is very wanted and I think that if it wanted to come into this world badly enough to crash our wedding, then who am I to be sad about that?
In the end, they'll adjust, even grandma, and I think they'll eventually be happy. It really did get me down for a day or two, I'll admit.
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For the first my parents were over the moon and DH's family were kind of "meh." With #2 it was the opposite, which bummed us out. But now my parents are super happy about it.
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I had a total non reaction from my in laws. DH told them over the phone and they basically said nothing to me about it for months. They're weird about stuff though. I mean that was their first grandchild!
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Same! My mom was totally excited for LO2 but also expressed concern about how hard it would be. She said that she'd kill me if I had a third LO! Not because she doesn't want more grandchildren but because of how hard it would be for me.
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I'm kinda anticipating this kind of reaction from my parents...
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My best friend's reaction was not what I was anticipating... She just kind of said "I knew it!" and went on with a different conversation. I wasn't expecting tears or fireworks but it kind of bums me out still.
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Actually reading these makes me feel better about what happened to me!
With #1 we wanted to tell our parents right away and wait until the second trimester to tell extended family and friends. I told my parents and they were initially excited. We had to tell more of DH family (parents, siblings) because they were all on a family vacation that we couldn't go on because of the pregnancy. Then my parents got mad that more of the in-laws knew, even though I found out later that they told a bunch of their friends anyway! It became all about who knew when instead of being excited for the first grandchild.
The second time I said forget it, everyone is finding out at the same time which coincided perfectly with Christmas. My parents were shocked and then said "we have news too!" which was about an upcoming vacation (what?!). Then they asked a ton of questions about "was this planned" and "how long have you known" I think they were mad that we waited to tell them but I felt like they lost the privilege of knowing early because they made me so miserable the first time!
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@psw27: I had several reactions like that also...definitely a bummer.
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I think the grandparent thing you can't really control because its more a reflection on where the grandparents are in their lives. When we got pregnant with our first (which ended in miscarriage) my MIL was NOT ready to be a grandmother.
Even when we got engaged (at 29) and married (at 30), she was in shock because she didn't personally feel she was old enough to have marrying-age children. So the grandma thing totally threw her for a loop. She just felt like she was too young to be a grandmother and didn't even want to be called grandma (even though she was in her 60s).
By the time we got pregnant the second time (which also ended in MC) a year later, she was a totally different person. She was excited when her second son got married, and she was excited to think about becoming a grandma. Its been 3 years since we've been married and both her sons are expecting babies and she's completely obsessed with being a grandma.
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I have sort of a different story. We told our parents about our first pregnancy at around 7 weeks and my dad was so excited. When I miscarried at 10 weeks, it hit him really hard (my mom has passed away, and this would have been his first grandchild). When we got pregnant again a few months later, my dad acted very cautious about it at first. He only really got excited after I reached the halfway point and was showing. I totally understood (after all, I was going through similar emotions) but it made me so sad that he was basically acting like we'd lose the second one too at first.
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bumping!
My dad was so shocked he just kinda said "huh!" .... not a congrats...nothing! It's VERY atypical for him!!! He was really stunned!
Anyway, we gave them a bottle of wine with a hand-drawn label on it that had all the details...MIL was freaking out and FIL was completely clueless (this is pretty normal. ha!). When she finally showed him the bottle and tried to elicit a reaction, he was all like "Oh! Hm! Is ________ in the family way?" Yep. In the family way. It was more hilarious than anything--because it was so typical!
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