I am definitely not proud of it, but I have an envy problem. It is a character flaw I have been working on my entire adult life. It has gotten better, but there are still a couple things guaranteed to cause a flare up.
Here is one:
I am a WOHM. I work at schools and hospitals around my state. One of the schools I work for caters to a wealthy neighborhood. When I arrive in the a.m., harried and unkept, fresh from leaving LO at daycare, there are a dozen or so extremely well groomed, fit, perfectly tanned moms hanging out in the parking lot, chatting. They are typically in cute, skimpy workout clothes, sometimes holding Starbucks. Their legs are so toned, tanned and hair free. Their hair is perfectly done; even if it is in a pony-tale, it is a stylish pony-tale. Some of them have full make-up. They basically look how you might imagine the Kardashians to look at school drop off. And I feel a weird feeling of repulsion and envy every time I see them. Ugh.
Time to brush up on my gratitude list.
What makes you jealous?
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Honestly, women who are super thin and fit. I struggle SO much with my body. Im a size 12, so not huge... but definitely kind of chubby.
I just need to get off my ass and then I wouldn't have to be jealous. Im working on it.
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Ugh, I hear you. I have the same problem and am also working on it. For me, I have a jealous streak that comes out when I see high school and college classmates who seem to have it all together. Great jobs where they make great money, nice vacations, etc etc. Facebook just exacerbates the problem but I always try to remember people don't put the whole story put there, only the good parts. The same could probably be said for the school drop offs -- the perfect grooming could be hiding any manner of problems or issues at home. You never really know what's going on with people! But it's hard not to be envious sometimes, even just of the appearance of perfection.
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People who are thin without trying and eating like crap. People with little to no student loans because their parents were able to help them through college. People who can be comfortable on one income and can be a SAHM (I would love this so much while I'm in school). People who don't have to work while in school, regardless of their child status.
Wow that's a lot. I'm a jealous wench
Actually I'm so grateful to have a job that pays decently and to have been accepted into school, however difficult it is. And I'm so, so grateful to be pregnant, I know that is a lot of people's dream and I definitely don't take it for granted. I also so grateful for my wonderful husband. He is seriously my rock.
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I get jealous when friends decide not to go back to work after their maternity leave is up. I don't even want to be a SAHM but I'm so jealous that they get the choice......
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I'd feel that way too! I def struggle with it too here & there. B/c of my husband's profession, I must WOH and we also can't afford the same lifestyle as some of our family & friends. I have to keep reminding myself that I am so blessed in so many ways, and that we are making a statement with the way we live our life! I def, def have major envy tho for women that can afford to SAH.
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I am envious of women who have extraordinary academic pedigrees. It gives them a ton of instant professional street cred, so to speak, whereas I have the necessary education, but without the uber fancy pedigree schools, I have to work my butt off to earn the same cred (although I do, it's just a painful process).
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I'm jealous of people who live in fabulous places like Hawaii. That sounds silly but I am completely serious! I feel trapped here in New England sometimes because all of my and DH's family lives here.
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@loveisstrange: ditto!
I get so jealous of naturally thin people and people who when watch what they eat and work out lose weight easily. When I am working my ass off and not seeing the results I would like.
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@Mrs.Panda: oh, yeah, the school and work thing. I was the only working student in my degree program- cue jealousy!
@Cherrybee: yep, jealous of the choice. Totally get it.
@catlady: ditto on the living in Hawaii (or a cool city, or anywhere by an ocean).
You guys are giving me new things to be jealous of! -
I'm jealous of my child-free friends and co-workers' free time. Their after work, weekend, and vacation plans sound so luxurious. And what do they even need a vacation from?? Sleeping in and going to nice restaurants?? So jealous.
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i get jealous of really wealthy people that can afford to buy beautiful homes/apartments in my city. then i hate myself for feeling that way and being ungrateful for what i have.
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I'm jealous of those who had their parents pay for college.
Also, this one is awful but when DH sides with his family over me...I get really jealous/envious that he's closer with them than me. He never speaks poorly of them but has no problem being critical of me... (this one might just be hormones because I rarely feel this way but I do right now)
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People who can get pregnant really easily.
People who like to work out.
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@catlady: My whole family and my husband's live in New England and we moved away. You can do it!
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Women who are able to conceive easily. It's stupid, but it makes me feel like less of a woman that my reproductive system doesn't work perfectly... and I'm even very fortunate compared to others (it only took us a year to conceive in the end). I should be happy that I could get pregnant at all, but it always makes me feel badly about myself when I hear about people getting pregnant after only a couple of months TTC. Envy is an ugly thing.
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People who had any sort of help financially going to college.
I had to drop out of college because I was working full time to pay living expenses, taking student loans for school expenses, and doing horrible in my classes because of my crazy work load. I am so envious of people with degrees. I have an OK job, but I will never be able to make good money...and I make just enough to where we can't afford me being a SAHM. Maybe one day I'll be able to finish, but it won't be anytime soon.
ETA: On a less serious note, I'm also envious of people with good skin and straight teeth. I've always had horrible acne. Taking Accutane last year finally helped. I have invisalign at the moment, but it was a rough 25 years with a jacked up grill. I'm just now at the stage in my life where I can afford to fix these kinds of things (after saving heavily). I really wish my mom had done these things when I was a teen.
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thin moms, those who had baby's and are rocking bikinis and looking good in them. People who have a closet of endless possibilities. We are meeting friends for drinks tonight for a birthday and I'm already getting anxiety thinking about what I'm going to waer. The friend owns a clothing boutique so she will be all cute, and I will be the "blah" friend. And money's too tight to go splurge on a new outfit...so I need to be creative.
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people who know style and makeup and decorating. I seriously still have a hard time figuring if I am 'warm' or 'cool'...and my poor LO...I'm going to have to save money to hire a stylist.
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@lizzywiz: Look at the inside of your wrists . . . if your veins appear blue, you are *cool* . . . if your veins appear more greenish, you are *warm*. Hope this helps a little!
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@lizzywiz: oh honey, that's enough to make anyone jealous! Those women must have no kids or older kids? Or something worked out with a babysitter? There is no way I could get ready for work, get LO ready, do drop off and still have time to socialize in the parking lot with my latte in hand.
@HLK208: this. I had to work my ass off through college and I still managed to get a very high GPA and get into graduate school (which we know takes out loans for). I know kids who got it all paid for and could have the time & energy to just go home and study every night and they STILL didn't so well in college. It irked me. Or some of them would complain about the length of projects and I'm thinking, "you don't even work! I have I work and do my hw!"
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I tend to get jealous when I see other ladies' facebook photos of all the places they've been, and several albums filled with outings with friends, college mates, etc. I was homeschooled my whole life and was never good at keeping long term friends. People tend to come and go in my life and it makes me envious and sad when I see all the happy, fun things people get to do with their BFFs. Kinda makes me feel like a loser at times. Bleh.
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Isn't it funny how we are all basically saying we are jealous of each other? I mean, there are some smokin' hot mamas on hellobee, some super successful professional women, mamas who have more financial freedom, highly educated mamas, stylish mamas, etc...even though we all fall into a category that is envied, we are also envious of all of the other categories.
@MsLipGloss: Thanks- that does help! I would be cool based on that. I am really white (no tan abilities), and freckly, with brown hair and brown eyes (a little auburny but mostly plain jane brown) and the combo is hard to find in fashion mags/ books that give this kind of advice.
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@lizzywiz: Anne Hathaway is the first celeb to come to mind: (she has been identified as having cool undertones).
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I get stupid jealous of people that live in well decorated homes, with perfect everything.
My house is a long way off, I know I should count my blessings, but still.
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@MsLipGloss: Great. Thanks A LOT. Now I am jealous of Anne Hathaway, too.
Seriously, thanks, it does look like we share the same coloring. Different body, though, unfortunately. -
I get jealous of two things regularly
- people who get to/can afford to travel a lot
- bloggers, especially home reno blogs -
I am super jealous of women that are naturally thin and get their body back right after birth
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@lizzywiz: YouTube is a GREAT resource for learning to do hair and makeup. Here's a couple channels I recommend checking out:
h ttps://www.youtube.com/user/Jaclynhill1
https://www.youtube.com/user/vintageortacky
https://www.youtube.com/user/MakeupByTiffanyD
https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaeldridgedotcom -
Lately I've been a bit jealous of my friends having babies. I'm really happy for them and I love my 2 little guys, but I feel like I want to have 1 more. My hubby isn't on board as we agreed that we were going to have 2 before we started ttc.
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SAHMs. People with no student loan debt. Those who actually like their jobs if they do WOH.
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@loveisstrange: Lisa Eldridge is queen! Bow down!
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People who actually enjoy/want to work out hard and people who are naturally morning people. I am jealous and I hate them.
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I'm slightly envious of people who have parents support them financially throughout their adulthood. DH and I both had to give up college due to our parent's financial situations, we got married young, and we worked our butts off for years. Now we live a pretty nice place and our business is great but having married friends who live at home, bill free, with high salaries makes me a little envious. I still love them! However, when dad is buying cars for kids who are over 28, I can't help but roll my eyes.
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generally i'm not an envious person because i have enough anxiety in my life as it is. but i do envy those who are so effortlessly stylish in everything they do - home decor, clothes, etc.
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@loveisstrange:
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@grizz: I could have written yours
When I grocery shop on my lunch break (because I have no other free time!) and I see moms in yoga pants pushing their kids around at a leisurely pace I really want to throat chop them. I haven't done ANYTHING at a leisurely pace since becoming a mom.
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People who live in big cities.
People whose jobs require/allow them to move/travel a lot.
Our friends have a baby who has triple citizenship. TRIPLE! I'm jealous of the options he'll have in life, that my LO won't have, like choosing to go to college in a country where it's free.
People who have fulfilling, rewarding careers, while I'm looking at a career change...
Ok, I guess I'm a jealous person! I promise I'm grateful for a lot, too
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@babyjmama: "I see moms in yoga pants pushing their kids around at a leisurely pace I really want to throat chop them. " bwahahah!
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@lizzywiz: don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, and it's not their fault I'm jealous, I just wish more than anything that I could do more than tread water. I never feel like I'm actually giving 100% to any aspect of my life and it sucks. Again, not that SAHMs feel any better, each situation has it's pros and cons. I'm just jelly. And don't want to start a mommy war bc I'm really happy for SAHMs!!
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